Organizational Folders

InspiredDIYBride

Hello All!

I'm new to the forums and this is my first post, so bear with me! I was not sure which category to post this under, but this seemed the most logical to me. Please let me know if there was a better area to post this under so I know for the future. Ok, here goes!

I have 3 Mothers that are all trying to be very involved in the wedding planning process in their own special ways. I welcome the support, but find it hard or trying to explain or re-explain different aspects of the wedding to not only them, but to my wonderful bridesmaid/MOH as well. I have a large 3-ring binder that holds all sorts of different vendors, dress and tux info etc...for me, but it is HUGE! This does wonders for when I am face-to-face with any of them, but was requested by my 2 moms to make a MUCH SMALLER version for the wonderful women in my life that are taking their time to help me.  I have seen cute simple folders that have been put together for bridesmaids that give the ladies things like color palate, fabric samples, emergency info etc... and love the idea.But what to include?! 

So, here is my multi-facet question. 

1. Has anyone here made a folder for their bridal party before? If so, what did you include?

2. What would be most important to include vs ridiculous?

3. Has anyone been in a wedding before and received a folder like this? What did it have? Did it help you?

4. Should an even simpler version be made for the groomsmen? (One is out-of-state)

Thanks in advance to all with advice!

ShesSoCold

InspiredDIYBride said:

Hello All!

I'm new to the forums and this is my first post, so bear with me! I was not sure which category to post this under, but this seemed the most logical to me. Please let me know if there was a better area to post this under so I know for the future. Ok, here goes!

I have 3 Mothers that are all trying to be very involved in the wedding planning process in their own special ways. I welcome the support, but find it hard or trying to explain or re-explain different aspects of the wedding to not only them, but to my wonderful bridesmaid/MOH as well. I have a large 3-ring binder that holds all sorts of different vendors, dress and tux info etc...for me, but it is HUGE! This does wonders for when I am face-to-face with any of them, but was requested by my 2 moms to make a MUCH SMALLER version for the wonderful women in my life that are taking their time to help me.  I have seen cute simple folders that have been put together for bridesmaids that give the ladies things like color palate, fabric samples, emergency info etc... and love the idea.But what to include?! 

So, here is my multi-facet question. 

1. Has anyone here made a folder for their bridal party before? If so, what did you include? - No. That sounds crazy and micomanagey.

2. What would be most important to include vs ridiculous? - I can't seem to think of anything that's not ridiculous. 

3. Has anyone been in a wedding before and received a folder like this? What did it have? Did it help you? - No and I would probably drop out of the wedding party if I received one.

4. Should an even simpler version be made for the groomsmen? (One is out-of-state) - NO!

Thanks in advance to all with advice!

See my responses in blue. Sorry, I'm sure this isn't what you want to hear. But it comes across SUPER micro-managey and nutso bridezilla-ey. 

[Deleted User]

InspiredDIYBride said:

Hello All!

I'm new to the forums and this is my first post, so bear with me! I was not sure which category to post this under, but this seemed the most logical to me. Please let me know if there was a better area to post this under so I know for the future. Ok, here goes!

I have 3 Mothers that are all trying to be very involved in the wedding planning process in their own special ways. I welcome the support, but find it hard or trying to explain or re-explain different aspects of the wedding to not only them, but to my wonderful bridesmaid/MOH as well. I have a large 3-ring binder that holds all sorts of different vendors, dress and tux info etc...for me, but it is HUGE! This does wonders for when I am face-to-face with any of them, but was requested by my 2 moms to make a MUCH SMALLER version for the wonderful women in my life that are taking their time to help me.  I have seen cute simple folders that have been put together for bridesmaids that give the ladies things like color palate, fabric samples, emergency info etc... and love the idea.But what to include?! 

So, here is my multi-facet question. 

1. Has anyone here made a folder for their bridal party before? If so, what did you include?

2. What would be most important to include vs ridiculous?

3. Has anyone been in a wedding before and received a folder like this? What did it have? Did it help you?

4. Should an even simpler version be made for the groomsmen? (One is out-of-state)

Thanks in advance to all with advice!

The wedding party don't need a binder.  The only requirements for a bridesmaid or groomsman is to show up on the day of the wedding, in the agreed on attire, mostly sober, and ready to smile for photos.    Therefore, all they need is the date, time, and location of the wedding and the details about the attire that you chose according to their budgets.

The moms don't need a binder either.  If they offer to pay for something, they can keep track of their contracts and receipts however they usually keep track of their contracts and receipts.

Nobody needs a binder.  Please don't make anyone a binder.

InspiredDIYBride

Thanks for the advice ladies!

 @ShesSoCold, I wouldn't have asked if I couldn't handle the response. I rather get a candid answer, that's why I posted here. I appreciate your answer.

To all: I'm not trying to be micro-managey, just asking as it was requested by my moms and wanted to know if anyone in the real world had experienced this. I don't want to put un-due stress on anyone or come across as controlling, so it looks like I WILL NOT be making folders. 

Thanks again for the advice, I appreciate the bride-zilla prevention!

ShesSoCold

InspiredDIYBride said:

Thanks for the advice ladies!

 @ShesSoCold, I wouldn't have asked if I couldn't handle the response. I rather get a candid answer, that's why I posted here. I appreciate your answer.

To all: I'm not trying to be micro-managey, just asking as it was requested by my moms and wanted to know if anyone in the real world had experienced this. I don't want to put un-due stress on anyone or come across as controlling, so it looks like I WILL NOT be making folders. 

Thanks again for the advice, I appreciate the bride-zilla prevention!

Yeah, I mean....I can't see why the moms would ask for them, but if they have, you could give them copies of contracts and ideas and whatnot of the specific things they're taking care of. Like, for example, mom is paying for and helping pick out flowers - give her the important pages of your flower section. Something like that. But I definitely would not give any paperwork (other than a day of schedule, if necessary) to everyone else. 

lovesclimbing

I have never heard of this.

If your moms want one, I see no problem with giving them a folder or binder with some information.  But what do they actually need?  I would only put in stuff that pertains to what they have already volunteered to pay for, or make or take care of for you. 

As for the bridesmaids, I don't really see a problem with giving them a small folder (I'm picturing like a 5x7 folded card, not a huge folder) that includes fabric swatches that they need to match for getting dresses along with pertinent information like length, material, etc. and a color scheme for shoes along with maybe a schedule of how the wedding day will go. (Although, I imagine that at the point when you're talking and ordering dresses, you may not yet know for sure how exactly the day will go.) That could seem a bit over the top, but I don't see anything wrong with it and it might be helpful.

As for emergency info, I suppose, but I'm not sure what kind of emergency you're talking about and I'm unsure why bridesmaids would need emergency info. If they can't find the right dress or they're running late to the wedding, I would assume they already have your phone number and you're the only one they would need to call.  I can't imagine a scenario where they would need emergency numbers for the venue or vendors or a hotel. 

[Deleted User]

InspiredDIYBride said:

Thanks for the advice ladies!

 @ShesSoCold, I wouldn't have asked if I couldn't handle the response. I rather get a candid answer, that's why I posted here. I appreciate your answer.

To all: I'm not trying to be micro-managey, just asking as it was requested by my moms and wanted to know if anyone in the real world had experienced this. I don't want to put un-due stress on anyone or come across as controlling, so it looks like I WILL NOT be making folders. 

Thanks again for the advice, I appreciate the bride-zilla prevention!

Send the moms a link to your wedding Pinterest page.  They can help you pin flower arrangements they like, dresses they want to buy themselves, ideas for favors, uplighting, your hair, their hair, etc.  They can feel involved and you can choose to ignore the great majority of their "help".

MairePoppy

adk19 said:

InspiredDIYBride said:

Thanks for the advice ladies!

 @ShesSoCold, I wouldn't have asked if I couldn't handle the response. I rather get a candid answer, that's why I posted here. I appreciate your answer.

To all: I'm not trying to be micro-managey, just asking as it was requested by my moms and wanted to know if anyone in the real world had experienced this. I don't want to put un-due stress on anyone or come across as controlling, so it looks like I WILL NOT be making folders. 

Thanks again for the advice, I appreciate the bride-zilla prevention!

Send the moms a link to your wedding Pinterest page.  They can help you pin flower arrangements they like, dresses they want to buy themselves, ideas for favors, uplighting, your hair, their hair, etc.  They can feel involved and you can choose to ignore the great majority of their "help".

This is what my daughter and I did before Pinterest was a thing. We made idea boards that we e-mailed back and forth to each other. She liked some of my ideas, thought others were hysterical and just ignored some of my ideas. It was a fun way to be involved without getting in the way.

Thank you very much for accepting honest opinions graciously. Welcome to The Knot forums

KatieinBkln

Hey OP, I came by to try to be helpful since you were so helpful to me on my DIY bouquet post...unfortunately even if I agreed that folders are necessary, I am not organized that way in the slightest. I rely on my mom and sister to nag me about stuff related to my wedding, so...

But I won't leave you with nothing. Here, my offering re: binders:

tojai

Are they tech savvy at all?  My sister and her FI have several google docs of info for the wedding (guest list, menu, vendors, music, etc.) and we all have permission to edit them so we can add new info if we need to.  I think it's really neat to be able to pitch in or to just check on their progress, but if the moms don't like to do things online it probably wouldn't be much help.

KatWAG

tojai said:

Are they tech savvy at all?  My sister and her FI have several google docs of info for the wedding (guest list, menu, vendors, music, etc.) and we all have permission to edit them so we can add new info if we need to.  I think it's really neat to be able to pitch in or to just check on their progress, but if the moms don't like to do things online it probably wouldn't be much help.

Why would your wedding need to know any of this? Or even care about what vendor you are hiring.

lyndausvi

KatWAG said:

tojai said:

Are they tech savvy at all?  My sister and her FI have several google docs of info for the wedding (guest list, menu, vendors, music, etc.) and we all have permission to edit them so we can add new info if we need to.  I think it's really neat to be able to pitch in or to just check on their progress, but if the moms don't like to do things online it probably wouldn't be much help.

Why would your wedding need to know any of this? Or even care about what vendor you are hiring.

well if they are paying they would want to know.

We used google docs.  Well my mom and sister and I.    My parents were paying for most of the wedding.    We didn't have vendors or music.   

We did have the guest list with addresses and seating chart.   My sister did the escort cards.  We lived OOT from each other so it was a great way to share information.    My mom got the RSVPs.  We also lived OOT from each and my sister.  We were in different time zones too.  She updated the RSVP list everyday.  Again a great way to share information.   

We also had a made lists of things to remember to bring.   Because of where we lived we had a lot of stuff sent to my sisters or my parents.  My sister store a lot of stuff, including my wedding dress.   My parents had some other stuff. 

We also were staying at the beach rental for 5 days and had lists of who was bringing what down for our family.  (my whole family was staying in the same out). I.e beach towels, snacks, etc.

Google docs was so helpful for us.

I have no idea why the WP party would need any folders.   The only reason I think the parents might want the info is if they were paying for something.  Even so they should only have info on what they were paying for.  They should not be privy to how much the other side is paying.  That is assuming they just didn't give you a lump sum.  If they did I don't know why they need the info at all.

tojai

KatWAG said:

tojai said:

Are they tech savvy at all?  My sister and her FI have several google docs of info for the wedding (guest list, menu, vendors, music, etc.) and we all have permission to edit them so we can add new info if we need to.  I think it's really neat to be able to pitch in or to just check on their progress, but if the moms don't like to do things online it probably wouldn't be much help.

Why would your wedding need to know any of this? Or even care about what vendor you are hiring.

For us I know my sister asked for help collecting current addresses for the guest list, so it's handy to have the editable version that anyone can update for her before the invites go out. 

Everything else is just nice to know for me anyway, as part of the wedding party I suppose I don't "need" to know but we're all OOT from each other and I like seeing what they're up to and how the planning is going.  I know the groom is supposed to be contacting the caterer soon to finalize the menu so I check up every few days to see if anything's been updated.  Maybe that's weird to care about but I like being able to see their planning take shape. 

However all of that is definitely not needed, just a nice little perk, so if the WP doesn't care or the B&G don't want to share I would skip it.

huskypuppy14

tojai said:

tojai said:

Are they tech savvy at all?  My sister and her FI have several google docs of info for the wedding (guest list, menu, vendors, music, etc.) and we all have permission to edit them so we can add new info if we need to.  I think it's really neat to be able to pitch in or to just check on their progress, but if the moms don't like to do things online it probably wouldn't be much help.

Why would your wedding need to know any of this? Or even care about what vendor you are hiring.

For us I know my sister asked for help collecting current addresses for the guest list, so it's handy to have the editable version that anyone can update for her before the invites go out. 

Everything else is just nice to know for me anyway, as part of the wedding party I suppose I don't "need" to know but we're all OOT from each other and I like seeing what they're up to and how the planning is going.  I know the groom is supposed to be contacting the caterer soon to finalize the menu so I check up every few days to see if anything's been updated.  Maybe that's weird to care about but I like being able to see their planning take shape. 

However all of that is definitely not needed, just a nice little perk, so if the WP doesn't care or the B&G don't want to share I would skip it.




For the bridal shower? I gave my sisters an excel file with everyone's address that I wanted invited to the shower. If there was a change, I just sent an email, Jane's address is now X. 

I had a binder for myself that had all the wedding receipts and contracts, but no one other than my now husband needed to know how much everything cost. My mom was emailed a copy of the venue contract, because my parents gave us money for that, and she wanted to know where the money was going,  but I coordinated everything. 

I didn't give my MIL any info on what we actually paid for everything, but she did know the approximate costs per plate because we showed MIL and FIL the banquet menus with the prices.

hellohkb

One of my BMs made a wedding folder herself (she wanted to, I didn't suggest it to her) from stuff she found on TK (such as timelines and advice). You could suggest they do that, if they have time. Or do it for them.

InspiredDIYBride

Thanks once again for all of the advice sine my last post! I am totally grooving on the Pintrest idea that many suggested, that way they can follow if THEY CHOOSE too. It means no work for me and then they can choose to be involved or how involved they want to be. 

A HUGE shout out to all the lovely ladies here that gave advice in any way!