How to do a seating chart for those who don't send back their RSVP?

suteki325

Hello all,

I mailed out our invites last week, and the RSVP cards are beginning to come back in (so exciting!). I went ahead and started on a rough draft of the seating chart and I already have a headache only ten minutes in. My biggest concern is what to do about the guests who don't send back their RSVP by the deadline - it's April 25th, so I know I have some time until then, but I want a game plan. Should I set aside an empty table for those we don't hear back from, and still give them a place card/assigned table? I made sure to pre-stamp the envelopes to encourage people to RSVP (all you have to do is check a box and toss it in the mail, come on people) but I know there will still be those dreaded guests who don't understand the importance of a head count.

Thanks!

goblue111315

After your deadline, just call and ask the people you haven't heard from if they're coming!

mlg78

I think you're going about it all wrong. Create lists of people as the rsvps come in. For us I did my family, my coworkers, my mom's church friends, mom's non church friends, and my mom's side of the family. I did something similar for my husband's side and there was a big list of friends. Then just wait until you have all rsvps back and have contacted the last minute people. There's no sense in creating a seating chart before you know who all is coming. Then from those lists create groups of 8 or 10 depending on the size of your tables.

Viczaesar

suteki325 said:

Hello all,

I mailed out our invites last week, and the RSVP cards are beginning to come back in (so exciting!). I went ahead and started on a rough draft of the seating chart and I already have a headache only ten minutes in. My biggest concern is what to do about the guests who don't send back their RSVP by the deadline - it's April 25th, so I know I have some time until then, but I want a game plan. Should I set aside an empty table for those we don't hear back from, and still give them a place card/assigned table? I made sure to pre-stamp the envelopes to encourage people to RSVP (all you have to do is check a box and toss it in the mail, come on people) but I know there will still be those dreaded guests who don't understand the importance of a head count.

Thanks!

No, you need to call the people who don't RSVP a few days after your deadline and ask them whether or not they're coming.  People are forgetful, and invitations and RSVPs get lost in the mail all the time.

MyNameIsNot

On about April 28, you'll need to start calling the people you haven't heard from. If you get voice mail, leave a message that says "...we haven't received your RSVP yet, and need to know whether you'll be attending. Please give me a call at your earliest convenience. If I haven't heard from you by X, I'll have to put you down as a no."  

Then if they don't get back to you, you're ok to not have a seat for them. Some people do forget, some people are rude, and sometimes things get lost in the mail. Give them the benefit of the doubt, but don't let them refuse to commit either. 

MandyMost

If you have lots of people clamoring to be involved (parents, MOH, etc.) this is also a great thing to delegate. Give them a list of the people that didn't RSVP to call and follow-up with, so you don't have to worry about it. 

And as others said, as much as you want to get it done, don't even start thinking about the seating chart until you have 100% RSVPs. I did as someone else mentioned and categorized everyone and it turned out to be pretty simple. We had tables of 7-9 (tables designed for 8 people). 

suteki325

Thanks for the replies everyone! Even though I'm chomping at the bit to get the seating chart started, I'm going to try and wait until my RSVP deadline and I've called people to see if they're coming or not. My mom and FMIL can help me out with this too (calling the family members that they know better than I do). I also REALLY like the idea of grouping my list together into different sections (my family, his family, friends, work friends, etc) and then from that creating groups of 6, 8 or 10 (I have all three types of tables at my reception). Just can't wait for all of this to be OVER and be on my honeymoon!

levioosa

suteki325 said:

Thanks for the replies everyone! Even though I'm chomping at the bit to get the seating chart started, I'm going to try and wait until my RSVP deadline and I've called people to see if they're coming or not. My mom and FMIL can help me out with this too (calling the family members that they know better than I do). I also REALLY like the idea of grouping my list together into different sections (my family, his family, friends, work friends, etc) and then from that creating groups of 6, 8 or 10 (I have all three types of tables at my reception). Just can't wait for all of this to be OVER and be on my honeymoon!

Wait, are you calling BEFORE the RSVP deadline?  You need to stop hounding people.  Stop it.  The sky is not going to fall if you have to wait a week or two to do this.  Give it 2-3 days AFTER the deadline to start calling people.  Hounding people before is rude. 

lyndausvi

MandyMost said:

If you have lots of people clamoring to be involved (parents, MOH, etc.) this is also a great thing to delegate. Give them a list of the people that didn't RSVP to call and follow-up with, so you don't have to worry about it. 

And as others said, as much as you want to get it done, don't even start thinking about the seating chart until you have 100% RSVPs. I did as someone else mentioned and categorized everyone and it turned out to be pretty simple. We had tables of 7-9 (tables designed for 8 people). 

I don't agree with this.  You can easily start an seating chart as you get RSVPs in.  

I used excel.  I had 15-16 columns basically 1 for as many tables as I was expecting.  I already knew my siblings were going to sit with my parents and DH's with his mom.  Boom, 2 tables done.    I knew my table.  There was another one done.  Non-family WP members were going with friends.  So I started a friends table.  

I had one family of cousins send in their RSVPs early.  They are a table of their own.  Boom, another done.   I knew I would put DH's cousins and aunts at a table together.  So as their RSVPs came in I popped them in a columns.  My aunts all like to sit together, so I made a table for them.  My parent's friends would sit all together.   As RSVPs came in I just plopped them in the right column. 

Sure I moved some people around and do a little tweaking,  but the vast majority stayed with the same people I started with. I would say i spent a few minutes a day when the RSVPs came in.  No headaches.

OP  - like others after your RSVP date you need to call those who didn't respond.  I had a few RSVP arrive the week of the wedding.   The postmarks were for 6 weeks earlier.  Meaning the guests DID RSVP on time.  The post office didn't get them to me on time.  I had 2 couples who never got the invite.  Pretty hard to RSVP to something you didn't receive. 

ETA - I had tables ranging in size from 7 people to 12.  So I didn't have to have a fixed number at each table.  That made putting people in categories easier.

suteki325

levioosa said:

suteki325 said:

Thanks for the replies everyone! Even though I'm chomping at the bit to get the seating chart started, I'm going to try and wait until my RSVP deadline and I've called people to see if they're coming or not. My mom and FMIL can help me out with this too (calling the family members that they know better than I do). I also REALLY like the idea of grouping my list together into different sections (my family, his family, friends, work friends, etc) and then from that creating groups of 6, 8 or 10 (I have all three types of tables at my reception). Just can't wait for all of this to be OVER and be on my honeymoon!

Wait, are you calling BEFORE the RSVP deadline?  You need to stop hounding people.  Stop it.  The sky is not going to fall if you have to wait a week or two to do this.  Give it 2-3 days AFTER the deadline to start calling people.  Hounding people before is rude. 

No...if you had read my post more carefully, you would see I said I'm going to try and wait until AFTER my RSVP date to work on my seating chart (even though I want to start working on it now), and to wait until after my RSVP date to call people to see if they're coming. Sorry if that wasn't clear. I hardly have the time to be calling people to see if they're coming before the RSVP date has even arrived. I haven't hounded anyone; I've called no one yet.

caitlinmca

suteki325 said:

levioosa said:

suteki325 said:

Thanks for the replies everyone! Even though I'm chomping at the bit to get the seating chart started, I'm going to try and wait until my RSVP deadline and I've called people to see if they're coming or not. My mom and FMIL can help me out with this too (calling the family members that they know better than I do). I also REALLY like the idea of grouping my list together into different sections (my family, his family, friends, work friends, etc) and then from that creating groups of 6, 8 or 10 (I have all three types of tables at my reception). Just can't wait for all of this to be OVER and be on my honeymoon!

Wait, are you calling BEFORE the RSVP deadline?  You need to stop hounding people.  Stop it.  The sky is not going to fall if you have to wait a week or two to do this.  Give it 2-3 days AFTER the deadline to start calling people.  Hounding people before is rude. 

No...if you had read my post more carefully, you would see I said I'm going to try and wait until AFTER my RSVP date to work on my seating chart (even though I want to start working on it now), and to wait until after my RSVP date to call people to see if they're coming. Sorry if that wasn't clear. I hardly have the time to be calling people to see if they're coming before the RSVP date has even arrived. I haven't hounded anyone; I've called no one yet.

I know how you feel. Our RSVP date is today and we have people who still have not sent theirs in yet, or hopefully they are on their way. We even stamped them like you said so all they had to do is write in their names and check accept or regrets. I'm going to wait a few days then let the phone calls, facebooking and my mom and stepmom and I getting ahold of people so I can get a more accurate number.

We already have had 1 of our sent back RSVPs that was regrets for a family of 3 (It is FI's aunt, uncle and cousin) now saying the wife can come but the husband and son can't to FI's parents. Now the aunt is asking if a different cousin of fiances can come with her as they are from Michigan and she doesn't want to make the trip alone, however this different cousin wasn't invited in the first place. Aye Aye Aye!!! Sometimes I wish I would have eloped.

groomguy87

Maybe its just me but I think its fine to start working on the seating chart before you have all your RSVP's in.  It will at least help with categorizing your guests (WP, groom family, bride family, etc) and then when you cross-refernce that with missing RSVP's it would be easier to make adjustments, wouldn't it?

MandyMost

lyndausvi said:

MandyMost said:

If you have lots of people clamoring to be involved (parents, MOH, etc.) this is also a great thing to delegate. Give them a list of the people that didn't RSVP to call and follow-up with, so you don't have to worry about it. 

And as others said, as much as you want to get it done, don't even start thinking about the seating chart until you have 100% RSVPs. I did as someone else mentioned and categorized everyone and it turned out to be pretty simple. We had tables of 7-9 (tables designed for 8 people). 

I don't agree with this.  You can easily start an seating chart as you get RSVPs in.  

I used excel.  I had 15-16 columns basically 1 for as many tables as I was expecting.  I already knew my siblings were going to sit with my parents and DH's with his mom.  Boom, 2 tables done.    I knew my table.  There was another one done.  Non-family WP members were going with friends.  So I started a friends table.  

I had one family of cousins send in their RSVPs early.  They are a table of their own.  Boom, another done.   I knew I would put DH's cousins and aunts at a table together.  So as their RSVPs came in I popped them in a columns.  My aunts all like to sit together, so I made a table for them.  My parent's friends would sit all together.   As RSVPs came in I just plopped them in the right column. 

Sure I moved some people around and do a little tweaking,  but the vast majority stayed with the same people I started with. I would say i spent a few minutes a day when the RSVPs came in.  No headaches.

OP  - like others after your RSVP date you need to call those who didn't respond.  I had a few RSVP arrive the week of the wedding.   The postmarks were for 6 weeks earlier.  Meaning the guests DID RSVP on time.  The post office didn't get them to me on time.  I had 2 couples who never got the invite.  Pretty hard to RSVP to something you didn't receive. 

ETA - I had tables ranging in size from 7 people to 12.  So I didn't have to have a fixed number at each table.  That made putting people in categories easier.

To be honest, I did the same thing. I did a tentative seating chart, and then started moving people around as RSVPs came in as "no" that I thought would be a "yes" or vice versa. I basically obsessed over it for weeks "Well, if X comes, then I can put them here, but if Y brings a date, then they have to go there, which means Z has to go here, assuming ABCDEFG all happen as I expect as well". I work with data for a living. I obsess over details and data. Constantly. I would have saved myself a lot of unnecessary anxiety, and not cost myself ANYTHING in terms of time, if I had simply waited until all the RSVPs were in. If you like that extra stress, or you don't find a few minutes of rejiggering a day to be stressful, then go for it. But for me, I wish I had followed the advice to not start until I had RSVPs!

(I will note, however, that we had our list characterized from the start as "Groom Family, Bride Family, Groom Friends, Bride Friends" which helped us make the guest list to begin with.