Just Engaged and Proposals

2 Year Engagement

Hey ladies! So my fiance and I got engaged in January, and have decided we wanted to get married on April 30, 2016. My father passed away 5 years ago, and being that April 30 is his birthday, we both really want to honor that. Just a few days later however, we learned that another family member is getting married on the same day, forcing us to push our wedding back until April 30, 2017 so we won't have to force our family to pick sides on which wedding to attend.
With all of that being said, how do you handle a 2 year engagement? I think my creative mind is so excited to start planning and picking elements of our wedding out, it's all I can think about! Any advice?
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Re: 2 Year Engagement

  • peachy13peachy13 in my cubicle, doing very important work
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    Congrats on your date! I say first go ahead and start looking at venues so you can secure 4/30/17. Then things will start falling in place. I am in the midst of a 2 year engagement (7 months to go!) and I wouldn't do it any other way. The first thing we booked was the venue, and then a few months later, the rehearsal dinner location, the DJ, the photographer, etc. If you're on a budget, one great thing about the long engagement was that I was able to wait for sales. For example I created the save the dates and wedding invitations way ahead of time, and just sat on my saved work until the websites I went through had a good deal. Plus 2 years is a good chunk of time to save money for other stuff.

    Good luck!
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    FutureMsNguyenkimmiinthemitten
  • April 30 is my sister's birthday!

    But really, I have a 2 year engagement too. I want to take things super slow especially because I am finishing up my last year in college, but my mom and sister already set an engagement party on April 12 and want me to start looking at venues...I'm just looking, right now it's fun looking at Pinterest and getting ideas but I'm not set on colors, flowers, cake, dresses, etc.
  • Hey! Having a long engagement has some perks definitely. You can take your time booking things and slowly get ideas and such. I just made 3 years being engaged (on March 8t) and our wedding is on Oct 25th of this year - so basically when we get married we've been engaged for about 3 years and a half, and I absolutely love it. Being engaged is another stage in the relationship in my opinion. No need to rush anything, slowly everything comes to place - so for now I'd say definitely get ideas, jot down styles, colors, flowers, etc.. the extra time if anything makes it BETTER and easier. :) xoxo
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
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    I had a 2-year engagement. I handled it the same way I would have handled any length of an engagement, which is to make a list of things that need doing and prioritize them and do them. Congrats and happy planning!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Blackbird230Blackbird230 Connecticut
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    FI and I will be at approximately 2.5 years before we get married. Take your time, enjoy the process, have fun with some DIY and relax! The stress of planning can come WAYYY later. :) Congrats!

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  • ohmrs2014ohmrs2014 Dirty Jerz
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    I had a 2 1/2 year engagement and the time does fly, especially when you hit the year mark.  Venues are the one thing I would say to look at first because depending on your area, they may book up very quickly.  In my location, our venue booked up for the whole year we were married within months of us booking our date.  (we know this because we referred other couples to them).

    Good luck and happy planning!
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  • OP, I just have to add that my step-father (who at times was more involved than my bio dad) passed away on July 4th of 2014 and his birthday was also April 30th. When we started planning our wedding, for different reasons we settled on April 8, 2016. It's bothered me that our wedding date will be in that month at all, but I know everyone is different. If it will be your special way of honoring him then go for it!

    On a different note, my first wedding (nearly 10 years ago) was planned almost two years in advance. Because it was a destination wedding, that gave us a lot of time to research different venues and vendors. We had nearly everything booked and deposits paid on exactly a year to the date prior to the actual wedding date. As a previous poster mentioned, some businesses don't allow things to be booked more than a year in advance. It made planning and saving money so much easier. Good luck planning!
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  • Wow! Here I was worried that I was the only one! :) I am not yet engaged, but my boyfriend has hinted that he plans to pop the question within the next six months or so. I have told him (and he is okay with this) that I do not want to get married until finishing nursing school which will be in 2017 (because seriously, planning a wedding is stressful enough, I can't deal with that and nursing school haha). I was kind of worried that people would think we were weird for waiting that long, so I'm glad to see that there are others like us!
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    KeyToHisHeart2017EarthyBride2017
  • RezIpsaRezIpsa
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    Birthdays and anniversaries of a death can be very difficult and depressing for many people. My understanding is that the common advice is to avoid those days for celebrations like weddings. You can absolutely honor relatives who have passed on in ways that don't mix mourning with celebration. Think very carefully about whether what you are planning will be tinged with sadness for many people there.

    The upside of a change in plans is that you don't have to have a two year engagement.
  • I am glad I found this post because just last night I was starting to worry my engagement was too long. He proposed April 2015 and we are waiting until October 2017 to get married. I've already picked a venue and my photographer. I haven't put any downpayments down but the 2 vendors have put me in their books for that date and I know the 2 very well so they are holding it for me. One thing i'm curious on, like you, is what do I do now? Pinterest has been my best friend but i'm not sure if this time will go quickly or if I'm going to regret the long engagement.
  • We will have been engaged for a year and 10 months when we get married.

    We now have venue, photographer, and DJ. We are going to wait until the fall to start doing anything else. 

    Just make a checklist/timeline and do things then. Don't focus too much on the wedding - remember to have fun together too!! I am glad we will have months worth of breaks in between planning periods. I know it'll be overwhelming so . . . .I will love having laid back days to just chill. 
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  • We are having a roughly 20 month engagement and I was worried the length would drive me crazy. However, we have a lot going on in that time-- he's getting out of the military and we'll be moving at least twice during that time. We will be transferring schools (I'm currently in school and he will be starting). We both have siblings getting married before we do as well.

    Since we will have so much going on, we are pretty much planning when we can. I want to have all of the vendors picked out and the venue chosen a year ahead of time-- or as much of that as possible. That means I can focus time and energy on what life throws at us-- and anything we decide to do ourselves.





  • I just got engaged on May 28, 2015. We are planning for Spring/Summer 2017! Mainly because I graduate nursing school in December 2015 and will begin a year long Bachelors program in January 2016. As of right now we are just going to start putting money back into a "wedding fund", we are researching different venues in the area, and looking at different ideas as far as styles and décor. Nothing too crazy yet since it is so far away!
  • I just got engaged and we're planning a 2 year engagement. My brother is getting married next June, and we don't want to steal his thunder by getting married the month after, and we want a summer wedding, so 2017 it is! I've known for as long as I can remember that I want to get married in my church (it's not even a question, I won't get married anywhere else and I will take any available Saturday in July or August 2017)...so the ceremony venue is picked, we're looking at various reception venues though and I feel like it's good we have 2 years because things get booked very quickly in the summer where we're from.
    kimmiinthemitten
  • we got engaged in September 2014 and will be married October 1, 2016. There have been a few moments of wishing we had done earlier because we're just so excited to be married but its been really nice planning without the stress. Its made it easier to appreciate the process and enjoy the moments 
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  • We got engaged on July 26, 2015 and we're getting married in May 2020 (because money). I went through a period where I wanted to just say screw the wedding and let's just get married at town hall, but honestly, we're both just enjoying it. We're still planning out the big details and we want to scout out a few venues before making a final decision. We only get one chance at having a wedding and we want to make sure we really get everything right.
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
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    We got engaged on July 26, 2015 and we're getting married in May 2020 (because money). I went through a period where I wanted to just say screw the wedding and let's just get married at town hall, but honestly, we're both just enjoying it. We're still planning out the big details and we want to scout out a few venues before making a final decision. We only get one chance at having a wedding and we want to make sure we really get everything right.

    So you're going to spend 5 years saving for a wedding? Am I reading this right? It's just ONE DAY. I find this so ridiculous.

    InLoveInQueens
  • 5 years is a very long time...I don't think I would be able to wait that long! Have you guys decided on a budget? You may not need as large a budget as you think!
    InLoveInQueens
  • Blackbird230Blackbird230 Connecticut
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    Agree five years is a long time, however I can somewhat understand. My FI was out of work for about a year of our engagement. It made saving for a wedding impossible and we didn't have our ducks in a row. Waiting the extra time helped. However in total our engagement will be half of what PP is saying. We don't know her financial situation and yes, they could need five years.

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  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
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    Agree five years is a long time, however I can somewhat understand. My FI was out of work for about a year of our engagement. It made saving for a wedding impossible and we didn't have our ducks in a row. Waiting the extra time helped. However in total our engagement will be half of what PP is saying. We don't know her financial situation and yes, they could need five years.
    If you need 5 years to save for the kind of wedding you want, you need to adjust your priorities. You don't need thousands of dollars to get married. Get a marriage license and go down to the courthouse. There ya go - you're married. Like I said before, the wedding is just one day. I find that people that need to spent thousands of dollars they don't have a wedding are more focused on the wedding and not the marriage. 

    Maggie0829holyguacamole79InLoveInQueens
  • I don't know why people are being critical. It's your money, your wedding. If you want to spend 5 years saving to have the day of your dreams then go for it. 
  • Zombie thread.
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