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What do you do if you hate the engagement ring?

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Re: What do you do if you hate the engagement ring?

  • Say something. This is something that symbolizes a commitment between them. My fiancé made a custom ring for me that I love, however, we talked and even looked at rings in advance. She will always hate the ring if it's not her style. She can tell him that she is so excited to be marrying him and really loves the time and effort he spent on the design but would like to know if they can talk about changing some of the style a little. Yes, he may be hurt but it's better than hiding the fact that she hates it.
  • 1) I've only had the hate chicken once. I wasn't impressed. Popeye's is the bomb though. 

    2) The grossest word for genitalia, I believe, is meat/roast beef curtains.

    3) I've proposed before and even when you know they'll say yes, it's scary as hell, as Magic Ink said. A lot of thought goes into every part and if I were to hear I didn't do something "right" I'd be devastated. 

    4) I absolutely did not want to be involved in buying the ring.  It came up in conversation and I said I wanted to be surprised and that's all that mattered.  I wouldn't have picked out the ring H got me but now I wouldn't give it up for anything, even if a stone fell out or something. 

    Like, it's a ring. It's a little thing that goes on your finger. It just doesn't affect your overall look all that much. It would be different if it was a dress that i had to wear every day for the rest of my life and it made me look like an overweight tapir. It's a ring and I have a hard time envisioning a ring ugly enough to where I'd ask that we change it. 

    I also didn't have the heart to tell H that he didn't actually surprise me, that I'd accidentally found out what he was planning. That isn't being dishonest, that's letting him have his moment. And just being glad he tried and HEY HE WANTS TO MARRY ME!

    So yeah count me in as someone who finds the whole thing pretty materialistic and I'd definitely lean strongly toward learning to love it. That said, I am not picky and I'm not a big jewelry wearer. If I were picky then maybe we would've gone shopping together but that's the last thing in the world that I would want.  I understand this situation a little more since it probably really is an ugly and amateur looking ring, but I am pretty sure I'd still be stoked about it. 

    5) H and I are children and there is a clothing chain here (kind of a lamer version of Macy's) called Herberger's and we always call it Fur Burgers. And Fuddruckers is forever Butt Fuckers, courtesy idiocracy. 
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  • Honesty, I would say something. Yes, it's a difficult conversation and I would hate to hurt his feelings, but frankly, he screwed up here. If I were going to buy someone a piece of jewelery that I expected her to wear for the rest of her life (and were likely dropping a substantial chunk of change on it), I would make darn sure that it was something she could live with. And if I wasn't sure--I would find out, whether that meant asking her, her sisters/friends, whatever. This would be doubly true if I were thinking about purchasing an unusual ring as seems to be the case here.

    My FI tried to go ring shopping on his own. He quickly realized he had no clue what I wanted, so he asked. I gave him some general guidelines, and he was much happier shopping once he knew he was picking out something I would love.

    He screwed up because he got her a ring that he thought was meaningful to the two of them and probably thought was really pretty? 

    Not all people talk with their SO's friends or family about what type of ring they are  getting or anything. DH didn't tell anyone he was even planning to propose. So that's really an unfair suggestion.


    He screwed up because he got her a ring that is very much not her style.  He should have known better, especially because this ring is very unique and somewhat untraditional (how many people want red and green stones together in a ring they will wear every day)?  An engagement ring is a HUGE emotional (and often financial) purchase.  IMO, it's your job as the ring purchaser to get enough information about your future FI's style to make darn sure you get something she can live with.  You don't have to talk to friends or family before proposing, but you have to get that information somehow--whether it's talking to FI, a trusted friend/family member, paying close attention to the type of jewelry they wear currently, or however you want to do it.


    This.

    It's especially your job if you are the type of person who is going to get butthurt if it turns out you guessed wrong and your FI doesn't like something about the ring you picked out for her w/o getting input directly from her.

    You can discuss the type and style of ring she'd prefer AND still get a ring for her without her knowing.  Those aren't mutually exclusive things.

    A close friend of mine just got engaged, yay!  Last year as she and her BF started talking about marriage she saw a ring she fell in love with and so she showed it to her BF, who then at some point secretly got said ring.  My friend had no idea that they were going to get engaged last weekend, let alone what ring he had chosen.  So even though she had given him input on the ring and he got her the one she wanted,  the whole proposal was still a surprise.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Rod and tackle.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • edited March 2015
    aliwis000 said:

    Very tricky situation. Ultimately I would tell him. Not right after he popped the question but weeks or so later. I would hope that the man I marry and I can talk about anything.

    My ring was custom made. I was very involved in the design and picking out the stone. I even went and approved two different wax samples of the ring before they actually made it. (I never saw it complete before he proposed just the green wax casts to make any changes etc.)

    This was a huge purchase for us. Did we have the funds? Yes. Did we go into debt? Absolutely not. But when we are talking this amount of money PLUS the high emotional investment the ring needs to be something both people are happy with.

    Like others have said. This is not some sweater or tie you get but hate and can wear the obligatory one time when you see that person again then shove in the closet. This ring is going to be on your finger for the rest of your life. I would think her FI would be more hurt when after the wedding the ring goes into a safe never to see the light of day again.

    And this.

    ETA: Well fuck me, but I guess I should have expected this thread to kinda escalate.  . . this is CC ><  And I had no idea it was 14 pages long?!  I only saw 7.

    It's going to be a long night.  No spoilers, but I hope no one actually raged quit over a piece of jewelry ;-)

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Fun fact: testicles are much easier to dissect than boobs. I'd take testicles over boobs any day.

    Also, they look way cooler microscopically.

    If y'all love the Chik-fil-a sauce, you'd love my hometown. That's where it was created. We used to have it available in the big "help yourself" dispensers. Oh man would we demolish some sauce. I refused to eat at the Chik-fil-a's in my college town until they got the sauce- I can't eat their chicken without it.
    Anniversary
  • Can't say I've ever dissected human testicles or boobs, but I'll concur that bull testicles are quite fun. 
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  • rajahmd said:

    Fun fact: testicles are much easier to dissect than boobs. I'd take testicles over boobs any day.

    Also, they look way cooler microscopical
    ly.

    If y'all love the Chik-fil-a sauce, you'd love my hometown. That's where it was created. We used to have it available in the big "help yourself" dispensers. Oh man would we demolish some sauce. I refused to eat at the Chik-fil-a's in my college town until they got the sauce- I can't eat their chicken without it.

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  • FI referred to his as his D hole, completely out of the blue yesterday. I was all whaaaaat?!?!
  • I can't think of any fun bits terminology that hasn't already been stated, but we call Chik-fil-a's food 'bigot chicken' and 'waffle fries of hate' on another forum I post on.



  • I'm generally quiet around here, but I hadn't seen "panty hamster" posted yet.. which is my favorite vagina-ism. 
  • Csondra said:

    I'm generally quiet around here, but I hadn't seen "panty hamster" posted yet.. which is my favorite vagina-ism. 

    That was one of my favorite House quotes ever.  YAAASSS.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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