How to avoid a gap?

ILoveBeachMusic

My daughter is getting married and the church dictates ceremony time and length  but guests can't be at the venue for cocktails until an hour later. It takes about 25 minutes for travel. The half hour "gap" really isn't time to "do" anything. Any suggestions?

ShesSoCold

Knottie41734395 said:

My daughter is getting married and the church dictates ceremony time and length  but guests can't be at the venue for cocktails until an hour later. It takes about 25 minutes for travel. The half hour "gap" really isn't time to "do" anything. Any suggestions?

Different venue.

lovegood90

Has a contract been signed with this reception venue yet? If not, I would find a new reception venue if they can't accommodate.  

You could do a receiving line to eliminate some gap time, but then the guests at the front of the line will still have waiting time, if that makes sense.

ILoveBeachMusic

Different venue isn't an option. The contract is signed and there is no wiggle room with the church's schedule so a receiving line at the church won't work either.

lovegood90

Knottie41734395 said:

Different venue isn't an option. The contract is signed and there is no wiggle room with the church's schedule so a receiving line at the church won't work either.

For lurkers- this is something very important to consider before signing a contract.

Is there a restaurant or something near the reception venue that you could have cocktail hour at instead, then have the reception at the venue? Not ideal, but it's better than making your guests stand around in the parking lot.

If it were me I would eat the deposit (depending how much $) and find another venue, because this one clearly doesn't fit your needs.

ILoveBeachMusic

They are planning the wedding in a limited time frame (six months) so the venue options were very limited so no, changing venues is out of the question. I will ask if there is a place to host a cocktail hour nearby. Good suggestion.

southernbelle0915

What about a receiving line in the church following the ceremony with a "send off" to the reception venue? Our receiving line took about 20-25 minutes. We had about 175 guests.

So let's say the ceremony time is at 3pm and it's a Catholic mass that lasts an hour. So:

3-4 - ceremony

4-4:20 - receiving line at the church

4:20-4:30 - send off (where guests blow bubbles or toss petals or whatever while B&G get into a car)

4:30-5:00 - drive time to venue

5:00 - cocktail hour begins at the venue

The upside of doing a receiving line is that the B&G have thanked everyone for attending and they don't have to do table visits.

banana468

Is the church forbidding a receiving line?  Can you talk to the venue about opening earlier?   Does the church have a hall that can be used for receiving instead?

southernbelle0915

I'm sorry, I didn't notice that you said the church's schedule doesn't allow for a receiving line. 

Do they just mean you can't do it in their main greeting area? Do they have a room you could book to do this? Most churches do. 

How many guests are there?

ShesSoCold

southernbelle0915 said:

I'm sorry, I didn't notice that you said the church's schedule doesn't allow for a receiving line. 

Do they just mean you can't do it in their main greeting area? Do they have a room you could book to do this? Most churches do. 

How many guests are there?

I like this idea - having a "cocktail" hour (I put it in quotes because I'm assuming many churches wouldn't allow a bar) in the basement or somewhere else in the church. 

But OP, why didn't you think of this before you signed contracts? This just seems like it should have been addressed way earlier. 

poodledoodleooo

Is it possible to have the wedding in a different church or location?

Liatris2010

Cajole the venue into opening 30 minutes earlier for your guests. Otherwise, what are they going to do, stand in the parking lot?

MairePoppy

I don't think a half hour gap, after considering the drive time between church and reception venue is a big deal. If I was a guest, I would proceed directly to venue and wait in my car for 30 minutes. Or more likely, I'd get lost along the way and would arrive on time for cocktail hour.  But it would be nice if I had access to the venue restrooms.

To be clear - are you saying the church rule is that your guests must vacate the parking lot immediately following the ceremony? I would ask if there is a space, on the church grounds where guests may have access to restrooms and you could provide bottled water after the ceremony. That would be the ideal solution, but I'm assuming you have to vacate the premises because parishioners are arriving for 5 O'clock mass.

Do you have a hotel block for out of town guests? Ask the hotel if they would allow a hospitality suite or a round of drinks (on the host) at the bar. Although, I think getting a bunch of guests in and out of a bar in a half hour would be difficult.

ILoveBeachMusic

I don't believe they have to vacate the parking lot. There isn't a mass but another wedding at 5:00. This was not my choice but my daughter and FSIL's choice of venue. They signed the contract and I don't think realized the timeline issue at the time. They live in another city so I'm just watching. I was just reading on here how horrible it is to have a "gap" between ceremony and reception. So I was looking for suggestions. Yes we have a block of hotel rooms, but by the time people return to the hotel and go to a party room/bar it would be time to leave for the reception - as someone pointed out. There are many restaurants near the church so it may be an option to go to one of them.

lovegood90

Knottie41734395 said:

I don't believe they have to vacate the parking lot. There isn't a mass but another wedding at 5:00. This was not my choice but my daughter and FSIL's choice of venue. They signed the contract and I don't think realized the timeline issue at the time. They live in another city so I'm just watching. I was just reading on here how horrible it is to have a "gap" between ceremony and reception. So I was looking for suggestions. Yes we have a block of hotel rooms, but by the time people return to the hotel and go to a party room/bar it would be time to leave for the reception - as someone pointed out. There are many restaurants near the church so it may be an option to go to one of them.

I think your best bet would be to call around to the restaurants near the church about hosting some drinks and apps for an hour, then people can head to the reception venue. Not ideal, but if the restaurant is close enough to one of the venues (church or reception venue), it's much better than having people sit in their cars or something.

southernbelle0915

Knottie41734395 said:

I don't believe they have to vacate the parking lot. There isn't a mass but another wedding at 5:00. This was not my choice but my daughter and FSIL's choice of venue. They signed the contract and I don't think realized the timeline issue at the time. They live in another city so I'm just watching. I was just reading on here how horrible it is to have a "gap" between ceremony and reception. So I was looking for suggestions. Yes we have a block of hotel rooms, but by the time people return to the hotel and go to a party room/bar it would be time to leave for the reception - as someone pointed out. There are many restaurants near the church so it may be an option to go to one of them.

What about a room in the church? Our church has lots of rooms that are available for people to rent. I've only been to one church ever that didn't have other rooms. It was an 1800s historic, one-room chapel.

[Deleted User]

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie41734395 said:

I don't believe they have to vacate the parking lot. There isn't a mass but another wedding at 5:00. This was not my choice but my daughter and FSIL's choice of venue. They signed the contract and I don't think realized the timeline issue at the time. They live in another city so I'm just watching. I was just reading on here how horrible it is to have a "gap" between ceremony and reception. So I was looking for suggestions. Yes we have a block of hotel rooms, but by the time people return to the hotel and go to a party room/bar it would be time to leave for the reception - as someone pointed out. There are many restaurants near the church so it may be an option to go to one of them.

What about a room in the church? Our church has lots of rooms that are available for people to rent. I've only been to one church ever that didn't have other rooms. It was an 1800s historic, one-room chapel.

Yes, go into that room for 25 minutes with lemonade and cheese trays before sending everyone way to the reception venue.

indianaalum

personally, I don't think it is that big of a deal and I certainly don't think 1/2 hour warrants a venue change. to me, that seems like people are being quite picky. Some people drive slower than others and may stop anyhow. I know others disagreee, but i certainly wouldn't stress about it. I am sure the venue has people show up early all the time as some people just genuinely show up early at places. 

With that, I would ask the venue if they can accomodate. Just extend your cocktail hour, if possible....

SP29

I don't think a half hour gap is the end of the world, I would just find it a bit odd if I showed up at the venue and couldn't get in. Then I'd stand around at the entrance. 

However, if you can work a receiving line in post ceremony, or have a "welcome" at the reception venue you could eat up that half hour. 

At my cousin's wedding, the reception room wasn't quite ready when it was supposed to be. But there was an entrance/ hall area inside the venue where everyone waited. 

Could you do something like the above, with maybe some passed apps and an alcohol free beverage?

STARMOON44

Honestly I really wouldn't care. And I think hosting a cocktail thing somewhere else is major overkill.

Maggie0829

I would talk to the reception venue again.  I mean, they seriously cannot open their doors and have some cold water available for guests until exactly X o'clock?  I find that hard to believe.

arrrghmatey

I wouldn't freak out too much over a 1/2 gap, especially if driving from the church to the venue is involved. There may be traffic. People may get lost. Some guests may mill about outside the church and chat with other people for 10 minutes before getting into their cars. Forfeiting a deposit and changing venues over a half hour seems a bit extreme. I'd suggest looking into what other PPs mentioned and see if you can have a receiving line at the church (inside or outside). This will also save your daughter and her new husband time at the reception because they won't have to go table to table to thank each of their guests. If that won't work, tell your daughter to get in touch with the venue and see if they can work something out. Maybe they would be willing to open the doors a little early, or provide water/lemonade outside--an additional fee will probably be involved, but it would be worth it.

kvruns

agree with the others that the 1/2 hour isn't a big deal to me, especially considering the drive itself is 25 min.  Maybe I need to stop and get gas, maybe there's a store by the church or reception venue that I have been wanting to go to, etc. Or if the church is in a pretty downtown area I might just choose to walk around and sightsee a bit.  Now make me do that for an hour or more and I will be grump.

I'd honestly be annoyed at the reception being 1/2 hour drive away from the ceremony more so than having to kill a 1/2 hour. I've been to a number of weddings like this and it always annoys me, especially if the reception site puts me further away from home but that's just me being picky. 

JoanE2012

I'd talk to the reception venue and ask them to open the doors 30 min earlier.  Offer to pay them for that extra time....money talks!

canadianhearts

I hope they will be able to open their doors for you twenty to thirty minutes before the start of the reception. It seems kind of unprofessional of them to be locking out guests until the exact start time of the event. Even if they can't start serving the drinks and food, you could maybe do a receiving line there to take up some time.

MairePoppy

@canadianhearts - around here, some venues book weddings for 12 to 5 and then another wedding for 6 to 11 (give or take an hour). They use that hour to clean/set up. It would be great if the venue would allow the guests access to the restrooms.

KatieinBkln

STARMOON44 said:

Honestly I really wouldn't care. And I think hosting a cocktail thing somewhere else is major overkill.

I agree with this. I'd feel really rushed and stressed as a guest if I had to ferry myself from church to bar to reception venue all within the space of an hour. As a guest I would definitely prefer a brief lemonade/cheese plate thing in a separate room of the church to fill that time, if it's possible

As for the venue not being open until exactly X o'clock--everything is negotiable and everything has a price. I'd try again with them and offer to pay a bit extra for that extra 20-30 minutes so the guests can at least hang out, even if the whole bar/apps setup isn't done.

ChemFanatic25

Yeah jumping on the "half an hour not being a big deal" train. It already takes almost half an hour to drive from the ceremony site to the reception. Plus milling a ton of people (assuming your daughter and FSIL are having a wedding that is hosting probably more than 25 people) into a room to grab coffee within the space of 30 minutes seems very impractical.

 

Edit: Bathrooms are a good idea though. See if the venue will open early for bathrooms and maybe you can provide water at the reception area.

ILoveBeachMusic

Thank you for all your responses. I will check with the venue to see if they can open a little earlier (at least to allow access to the restrooms). They are cleaning up after another event so it isn't as if they are closed and not allowing us in the facility. I appreciate all the suggestions.

Junebug2015

Echoing others that the 1/2 hour gap is not something to freak out about (although lurkers, plan ahead to make sure this doesn't happen!). I would personally be more annoyed by having an "in-between" venue cocktail hour than potentially having to wait a bit when I got to the venue.

I would still try to get the venue to open 30 minutes early.