Does Wedding Dress Dictate Style for Wedding Party?

[Deleted User]

Hello Knotties!

 I have chosen a simple, strapless, A-line lace dress with a chapel train. My concern is that it might be too formal for the romantic, yet whimsical, wedding I had in mind (groom in somewhat informal taupe suit with wooden buttons and plaid bow tie, ring bearers in button-down shirts and khaki pants). If I keep my dress bustled, could I have other members of the bridal party dress more casually?

Maggie0829

Even if you have your dress bustled you will still be in a formal gown.

It sounds like your dress is pretty simple and can either be dressed up or down depending on how you accessorize.  So really your BMs can wear a nice cocktail dress or any short dress (or long dress or whatever) and they should be just fine formality wise.

Now if your BMs were to wear jean shorts and a t-shirt then yeah that would look a bit off next to your dress.

chibiyui

Yeah, you can totally put your BM's in short, not super formal dresses with that dress. Just keep your accessories on the casual side.

[Deleted User]

Thank you!!

CMGragain

You are having a very non-traditional wedding, so all attire rules are off.

VulgarGirl

CMGragain said:

You are having a very non-traditional wedding, so all attire rules are off.

Huh? What makes this "very non-traditional"? I checked her posting history, I didn't see any posts that seemed like she was doing anything so OUTSIDE the ordinary? 

CMGragain

callalilliesbloom said:

Hello Knotties!

 I have chosen a simple, strapless, A-line lace dress with a chapel train. My concern is that it might be too formal for the romantic, yet whimsical, wedding I had in mind (groom in somewhat informal taupe suit with wooden buttons and plaid bow tie, ring bearers in button-down shirts and khaki pants). If I keep my dress bustled, could I have other members of the bridal party dress more casually?

@MagicInk,  Check out the "Groomsmen wear?" thread for the traditional dress rules for men.  Traditional dress is not required, but it is good to know what it is.

VulgarGirl

CMGragain said:

callalilliesbloom said:

Hello Knotties!

 I have chosen a simple, strapless, A-line lace dress with a chapel train. My concern is that it might be too formal for the romantic, yet whimsical, wedding I had in mind (groom in somewhat informal taupe suit with wooden buttons and plaid bow tie, ring bearers in button-down shirts and khaki pants). If I keep my dress bustled, could I have other members of the bridal party dress more casually?

@MagicInk,  Check out the "Groomsmen wear?" thread for the traditional dress rules for men.  Traditional dress is not required, but it is good to know what it is.


So the dress might be untraditional but that does mean the whole wedding is non traditional. Just the outfits they are wearing.

I think we can agree the clothes don't make the wedding.

CMGragain

The OP's question was about dress.  My response was meant to indicate that since she had chosen non-traditional clothes for her groom, the rules of traditional dress do not matter, and she can choose whatever she wants.  I think we agree on this?

VulgarGirl

CMGragain said:

The OP's question was about dress.  My response was meant to indicate that since she had chosen non-traditional clothes for her groom, the rules of traditional dress do not matter, and she can choose whatever she wants.  I think we agree on this?

Well yes but you said she was having a non-traditional wedding. Her wedding might be very traditional, the attire for the wedding might be non-tradtional, but the wedding itself still could be very traditional.

She might even have a dowry. I mean...dowrys are fucking traditional as hell.

CMGragain

Interesting.  What is your definition of a traditional wedding?

VulgarGirl

CMGragain said:

Interesting.  What is your definition of a traditional wedding?

I don't really have a firm definition. But I would think just the attire alone wouldn't make a wedding traditional vs. nontraditional. Attire is just a small portion of the wedding.

I for one had an nontraditional wedding. I wore a short red dress, we saw each other before the wedding, heck I think the only tradition we kept was having our parents walk us down the aisle. And even then I had both my mom and dad and she had both her dads. Which, since neither of us are Jewish, would also break with tradition. 

And I have to say the attitude in your first post of "well you're already not doing things by the book so who cares" is a little annoying. Just because you aren't doing things by the book doesn't mean you can't be concerned with how things will look all together. Even if she is having a very nontraditional wedding (she might be, I know nothing about her wedding other than attire) she can still give a hoot about how things look.

lyndausvi

OP - I was to have a beach wedding (mother nature squashed that plan though).    I wore a strapless corset back ivory gown.   

DH refused to wear a jacket or tie.  He wore a Tommy Bahama silk button down ivory shirt white tan linen pants.

BM's wore short brown strapless dresses.  The top of their dresses looked a lot like the top of mine.   

GM's wore brown button-down Tommy shirts with khaki pants.

I do not care if it's tradition or not.  It worked just fine for us.  I've witnessed a lot of beach weddings.  Most of the brides still wore gowns and the guys were all over the place.  Some had suits, others just jackets or ties.  Still others were like our GM's.  I've even seen GM's in shorts.

BM's were mostly in short dresses (not super casual) and sometimes in gowns to.

CMGragain

MagicInk said:

CMGragain said:

Interesting.  What is your definition of a traditional wedding?

I don't really have a firm definition. But I would think just the attire alone wouldn't make a wedding traditional vs. nontraditional. Attire is just a small portion of the wedding.

I for one had an nontraditional wedding. I wore a short red dress, we saw each other before the wedding, heck I think the only tradition we kept was having our parents walk us down the aisle. And even then I had both my mom and dad and she had both her dads. Which, since neither of us are Jewish, would also break with tradition. 

And I have to say the attitude in your first post of "well you're already not doing things by the book so who cares" is a little annoying. Just because you aren't doing things by the book doesn't mean you can't be concerned with how things will look all together. Even if she is having a very nontraditional wedding (she might be, I know nothing about her wedding other than attire) she can still give a hoot about how things look.

I never said this.  You are reading things into my post that aren't there.  Cut it out.

VulgarGirl

CMGragain said:

MagicInk said:

CMGragain said:

Interesting.  What is your definition of a traditional wedding?

I don't really have a firm definition. But I would think just the attire alone wouldn't make a wedding traditional vs. nontraditional. Attire is just a small portion of the wedding.

I for one had an nontraditional wedding. I wore a short red dress, we saw each other before the wedding, heck I think the only tradition we kept was having our parents walk us down the aisle. And even then I had both my mom and dad and she had both her dads. Which, since neither of us are Jewish, would also break with tradition. 

And I have to say the attitude in your first post of "well you're already not doing things by the book so who cares" is a little annoying. Just because you aren't doing things by the book doesn't mean you can't be concerned with how things will look all together. Even if she is having a very nontraditional wedding (she might be, I know nothing about her wedding other than attire) she can still give a hoot about how things look.

I never said this.  You are reading things into my post that aren't there.  Cut it out.

I thought we were having a polite discussion. There is no need to get snarky with me. I'm reading your tone in your original post that "all attire rules are off". That this bride doesn't get to worry about things because she isn't following rules. I also said attire makes up a small part of the wedding and doesn't mean a wedding is/isn't traditional.