Wedding Etiquette Forum

Spotlight dances

Hi everyone, I posted in the Reception Ideas forum about my non-traditional reception ideas, which don't include an emphasis on dancing. Here's the post: http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1055165/no-dancing-backyard-pig-roast-bbq

In the course of the convo it came up that it may be seen as weird for me to have a first dance and father/daughter dance if we're not having other kinds of dancing. I think part of it is coming because some people do dances after dinner, to open up the floor for everyone else. Where I'm from, dances are done immediately after the WP entrance, before dinner. 

I'm absolutely fine with people dancing if that's what they want to do - we will have iPod music with a mix of stuff which should be fairly danceable. But I just didn't plan to have a dedicated space and the usual top 40's/party music for dancing.

I honestly didn't even consider this and I don't want to offend my guests. So, just wanted to check if this is an etiquette issue? Would I be rude to have a first dance and f/d dance if we don't plan the reception around dancing as the main activity?

Thank you!
Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Re: Spotlight dances

  • Where will you be dancing the spotlight dances if there isn't a dedicated dance space? 


  • I don't think it's rude. It's not like you're having the first dances and then telling people "....but YOU can't dance." If people want to dance, it sounds like you have no problem with that. 
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  • banana468 said:

    Where will you be dancing the spotlight dances if there isn't a dedicated dance space? 



    This.

    Most receptions aren't "planned around dancing". There's dinner, and there's music, and there's an open space if people choose to dance. Usually people do, but usually the music is geared towards that. If you want to have spotlight dances, you need an area do do them. This same area should be available should anyone else want to dance at any other time. 

    I've never been to a wedding where it was announced that the dance floor was open, and the vast majority have all done the spotlight dances after the entrance and before dinner. And yet everyone still knew the dance floor was there and available for dancing after dinner was over and people got up and started mingling. 
  • Hi everyone, I posted in the Reception Ideas forum about my non-traditional reception ideas, which don't include an emphasis on dancing. Here's the post: http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1055165/no-dancing-backyard-pig-roast-bbq


    In the course of the convo it came up that it may be seen as weird for me to have a first dance and father/daughter dance if we're not having other kinds of dancing. I think part of it is coming because some people do dances after dinner, to open up the floor for everyone else. Where I'm from, dances are done immediately after the WP entrance, before dinner. 

    I'm absolutely fine with people dancing if that's what they want to do - we will have iPod music with a mix of stuff which should be fairly danceable. But I just didn't plan to have a dedicated space and the usual top 40's/party music for dancing.

    I honestly didn't even consider this and I don't want to offend my guests. So, just wanted to check if this is an etiquette issue? Would I be rude to have a first dance and f/d dance if we don't plan the reception around dancing as the main activity?

    Thank you!
    I don't see this as rude. If there's space for you to dance then there's space for other people to dance (I'm assuming?) so they can if they want to. Doesn't seem like a big deal to me. 
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  • spockforprezspockforprez member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited March 2015
    banana468 said:

    Where will you be dancing the spotlight dances if there isn't a dedicated dance space? 



    What I meant by that is there won't be a dance floor - we're having the wedding in a yard so we'd need to rent one and we don't plan to do that. There will be ample space, though. People can dance or sit under the tent or turn cartwheels down the driveway if they want! (Although our insurance policy would probably appreciate it if they didn't do the latter.) 

    It is still a good point, though, because I haven't worked out exactly where we'd do ours. We know where the tent is going and where the food will be. We still need to figure out where the band and emcee will go - I'll probably work up some space around that area.

    Thank you everyone. I'm glad to know it may be a little weird (which we are) but not rude (which we never want to be). I'll work on figuring out the logistics in the meantime!
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Where will you be dancing the spotlight dances if there isn't a dedicated dance space? 


    What I meant by that is there won't be a dance floor - we're having the wedding in a yard so we'd need to rent one and we don't plan to do that. There will be ample space, though. People can dance or sit under the tent or turn cartwheels down the driveway if they want! (Although our insurance policy would probably appreciate it if they didn't do the latter.) 

    It is still a good point, though, because I haven't worked out exactly where we'd do ours. We know where the tent is going and where the food will be. We still need to figure out where the band and emcee will go - I'll probably work up some space around that area.

    Thank you everyone. I'm glad to know it may be a little weird (which we are) but not rude (which we never want to be). I'll work on figuring out the logistics in the meantime!


    Most likely where ever you do your spotlight dances is where people will assume that any other dancing will take place.  So just choose a spot that has enough open area that if 20 or so people want to boogie down they can without bumping into tables.

    And seeing that you are having a band, then it is safe to assume that the dance area will more then likely occur around the band.  So just do your spotlight stuff in front of wherever you set your band up.

    And you don't need a dance floor for people to feel like they can dance.  Dancing in the grass is perfectly fine.

  • I don't think it's rude. It's not like you're having the first dances and then telling people "....but YOU can't dance." If people want to dance, it sounds like you have no problem with that. 

    Incidentally, I went to a wedding where this exact thing happened. There was no DJ, so the officiant announced the bride and groom were going to have their first dance and dance with their parents, then there would be no further dancing. Not cool.

    As for OP, I think you're fine.
    Wheaton's Law: Don't be a dick.
  • mlg78mlg78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    I've never needed a dance floor to bust a move before!  Don't worry about not having one.  The grass will do just fine. :)
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