Registering and Gifts

No Registry

So, initially the FI and I were going to do a registry but we honestly have a lot of things we already need --- we're just trying to get ready to eventually buy our own home soon.  So we didn't register.

When people kept asking me where I was registered, I was like "Oh, I'm not registered.  We're saving up for a downpayment for the house" or I would say "We're not registered anywhere but I'm so glad you're coming.  You being there is enough."  Something along those lines.  A few folks read between the lines and said that they'll figure something out or that they know we like to cook so will get us a set of pots and pans (which is just fine.  I honestly am not getting married for the gifts.)

So I was with a bunch of friends yesterday and one of them said "she's not registered anywhere.  She's registered for checks."  I honestly cringed.  But the another friend that was there and getting married in a few months had on her website that they are registered to a Honeyfund.  Everyone thought that was a fantastic idea.

Ladies.  I'm trying to follow 'the rules' here.  I guess I'm at a loss of what to say.  The good thing is that the wedding is in less than 2 weeks so I will no longer stress over this after that!

Re: No Registry

  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    Yay 2 weeks till your wedding!


    Sometimes our loved ones are just stupid. That's really all it comes down to.
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    Anniversary
  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    member
    I had a similar experience this weekend as well. "We've been living together four years. We don't need anything. So we're doing a honeyfund." There are two things wrong with this statement: 1 they are not engaged. At all. No venue, no reception, no date, no ring, no asking. And if you ask him "I'm never getting married!" And 2 honeyfunds suck. So I at least got to explain to her why they're awful and they take your guests money.

    I wasn't touching the "you're not engaged..." With a 10ft pole.

    image
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    5000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member

    So, initially the FI and I were going to do a registry but we honestly have a lot of things we already need --- we're just trying to get ready to eventually buy our own home soon.  So we didn't register.

    When people kept asking me where I was registered, I was like "Oh, I'm not registered.  We're saving up for a downpayment for the house" or I would say "We're not registered anywhere but I'm so glad you're coming.  You being there is enough."  Something along those lines.  A few folks read between the lines and said that they'll figure something out or that they know we like to cook so will get us a set of pots and pans (which is just fine.  I honestly am not getting married for the gifts.)

    So I was with a bunch of friends yesterday and one of them said "she's not registered anywhere.  She's registered for checks."  I honestly cringed.  But the another friend that was there and getting married in a few months had on her website that they are registered to a Honeyfund.  Everyone thought that was a fantastic idea.

    Ladies.  I'm trying to follow 'the rules' here.  I guess I'm at a loss of what to say.  The good thing is that the wedding is in less than 2 weeks so I will no longer stress over this after that!


    You have said and done all the right things. Your friends have said all the wrong things. It is typically true that if you do not register, the subtle implication is that gifts of money would be welcome. There is nothing wrong with that inference. People who intend to gift you monetarily would do so whether you had a registry or not. I always purchase from the registry for showers, and gift money for weddings. Congratulations 2 weeks in advance!
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