Need help planning parent's vow renewal!

caswick

My parents are flying our family down to St. Thomas to celebrate their 30th Wedding Anniversary. It will be my parents, me, my husband and our son, and my sister. My sister and I decided that it would be a good idea to surprise them with a vow renewal ceremony while we are down there. Obviously, just something small and intimate.

We were thinking about telling them that they will be renewing their vows on the plane down there. Is this a good idea? Should we let them know sooner?

Also, what all is involved in a vow renewal ceremony? Do I need to have a cake? I was hoping we could have them renew their vows on the beach, take family photos after, and then go out to dinner. Just keeping it simple. Is that okay to do? I have no idea where to start! Please help!!!!

CMGragain

"Surprise" them with a vow renewal ceremony?  Please don't.  Many married couples feel strongly that their original vows were enough, and that they do not need to be renewed.  (I am one of these. )  I was very offended when a former pastor declared that he was going to perform a vow renewal in church for all married couples who attended that day.
Please talk to your parents and see how they would feel about a vow renewal ceremony.  If they want one, they should be involved in the planning.

KatWAG

If they wanted to renew their vows, they would.

Just make a nice toast at dinner or something along those lines to show them you care about their anniversary.

Jells2dot0

 

caswick said:

My parents are flying our family down to St. Thomas to celebrate their 30th Wedding Anniversary. It will be my parents, me, my husband and our son, and my sister. My sister and I decided that it would be a good idea to surprise them with a vow renewal ceremony while we are down there. Obviously, just something small and intimate.

We were thinking about telling them that they will be renewing their vows on the plane down there. Is this a good idea? Should we let them know sooner?

Also, what all is involved in a vow renewal ceremony? Do I need to have a cake? I was hoping we could have them renew their vows on the beach, take family photos after, and then go out to dinner. Just keeping it simple. Is that okay to do? I have no idea where to start! Please help!!!!

I think it would be nice to do the bolded still! Plan to hire a photographer for family photos. Plan a lovely dinner, with a cake, and give a toast like @KatWAG suggested. Vow renewals are personal and not for everyone. If you think you could somehow bring it up beforehand and feel them out

ETF- I was thinking "out loud" and did not mean to type that.

OliveOilsMom

Don't surprise your parents with this.  Ask your mom and dad if this is something they would like to do while on vacation.  If they are agreeable, then I would ask your parents what type of event they would like to have.  They may want to have it with a clergy person of some kind.  Think back to your wedding, wasn't your ceremony a very personal thing?  A vow renewal is also a very personal thing, which is why you should ask first.

If you want to surprise your parents with anything, treat them to a nice dinner out while on vacation and toast to their 30th years.  To find nice restaurants in St. Thomas, I would go to Trip Advisor or ask for recommendations on our Honeymoon board.

KatWAG

Cake is always a good idea.

southernbelle0915

You want to surprise them with awkwardly forcing them into saying intimate vows to each other? All the "no" in the world can't mitigate this. 

Surprise them with flowers, gift certificates for massages/snorkeling/dinner on the beach, pay for an excursion for just the two of them, an upgraded room, etc...

Jen4948

Don't "surprise" them with a vow renewal. They may well surprise you-by saying no.

levioosa

Ditto pps. Your heart is in the right place, but this is a bad idea.

AddieCake

Yeah, that would be weird. What if they don't want to renew? Surprise them with a party or cake or something, but "forcing" them to renew their vows could go awry.