Registry $$$ Item help

lovemesomemonster

FI and I started a registry this weekend at Macys because he will be leaving for work in another state soon and I wanted to make sure we got something done before he left. My question for all of you lovely ladies is.. We have lived together for almost 6 years, we own two houses together, and even have a fully stocked camp trailer, needless to say we have a lot of shit. I know everyone says to "upgrade" what you have, which is something we do want to do with some items.. But I'm having trouble with the dollar amount attached to some of the nicer things I would want to get. I have no interest in registering for new towels that are just a different color but still inexpensive, if I was to go buy myself new towels right now they would be more expensive. 

So.. my problem is this.. I looked at what we registered for and there are a whole 20 items on it, most of which as an adult I would just buy myself if there was no wedding (ie ice cream scoop) but I feel like a pretentious ass registering for the nice things I would actually want. 

How do you balance being conscious of your guests wallets and not getting a bunch of stuff you don't really want anyways?  

Casadena

Well, I understand where you're coming from but you're not FORCING anyone to spend money on you. If they can't afford to get you something from your registry then they'll either get you something else, give you an off-registry gift they can afford (hopefully with a gift receipt JIC), pool money with others to get you a bigger ticket item, or just give you cash.  No big deal, register for what you really want.  

That being said, if anyone has offered to throw you a shower, I would rethink my registry before accepting.  Since showers ARE specifically gift-giving events, you need to have a good mix of dollar amounts.  

kvruns

just curious what are the higher price point items you are considering? are we talking a jump from everything under $20 and the rest is $200+

Similar to you we consolidate 2 houses and already have upgrades or nice stuff.  We have a small registry for the small shower that is taking place and some items are small things that I'd probably never buy myself but I liked.  for instance a wooden cutting board/serving thing in the shape of our state, a trivet with the names of the neighborhoods/fun spots in town. Sure I can easily afford it but I'd never buy it since I already have stuff that can be used so I wouldn't do it.

theartistformerlyknownas

Is this for the shower or the wedding?

If a whole list of shower guests won't need to shop off of it, don't worry about it. Register for the things you want and need, and wedding guests can either go in together on something or choose not to buy it for you. The overwhelming majority of our wedding guests did not shop from the registry at all.

If you're planning on having a shower though, and can't think of enough physical gifts that you need, I would decline the shower.

lovemesomemonster

Thanks for the input! My MOH wanted to throw me a shower, I told her I didn't want a shower with the gifts etc so we are just doing a "I came home" party since I live out of state and it's an excuse to get together. I honestly feel silly even doing a registry but we have already been asked by multiple people where we are registered and older relatives have expressed interest in getting us something. We don't like clutter and don't need/want 3 can openers which is why I would rather guide people to something I would use instead of just not having a registry. We have everything we need, so now it's about upgrading I suppose.. our price ranges are $400+ for knives, down to an ice cream scoop and everything in between... My biggest concern was getting a side eye because it is the most expensive of something.. example: I really want the Turkish cotton towels and if I were to get new towels tomorrow that is what I would buy, but a bath towel is $40 and I felt bad asking for that so I registered for the $25 towel.. I don't want people to think I'm greedy but all of my stuff is functional now so if I'm going to change it out I want quality "forever" stuff.. 

theartistformerlyknownas

Have you looked into registering for the knives individually rather than the full set? It's more expensive total that way, but gives you better individual price points. People could still get the idea and buy you the full set if they wanted to.

JaniV123

I would say it depends on your circle and family. We have a modest registry with the most expensive thing being around $175-$200 if that. My cousin is getting married May 2 and his Fi's shower is Sunday (YAY!!) and when I looked at their registry I almost fainted, $500 decanters, $300 platters etc. At the same time 90% of the stuff was already bought. So it is also a know your circle kind of thing. We put stuff we needed and wanted but that is also good quality, hence a little higher price wise but we also have a lot of cheaper stuff on it. 

In summary you know your friends and family and how they gift and you know what you need, I would say try to balance things out as best you can so that you have stuff in all price ranges.

TheArtemisMoon

I've heard of guests pitching in and getting a few big ticket items vs a bunch of little cheap ones. For example a $300 item, maybe your parents and siblings could all chip in and get it for you.

lovemesomemonster

Thanks to everyone for the advice. I have been looking at our registries and browsing the store websites and been able to come up with some more small things that would be nice to have but I probably wouldn't run out tomorrow and buy them. I think we have an OK range right now, I have put things like picture frames on there and little kitchen gadgets I didn't even know existed but are awesome! 

[Deleted User]

lovemesomemonster said:

Thanks to everyone for the advice. I have been looking at our registries and browsing the store websites and been able to come up with some more small things that would be nice to have but I probably wouldn't run out tomorrow and buy them. I think we have an OK range right now, I have put things like picture frames on there and little kitchen gadgets I didn't even know existed but are awesome! 

Organizational tools.  You can never have too many bins.  I need baskets for purses on the top shelf of my closet, boxes for extra toothpaste and shampoo in my linen closet.  Those overdoor shoe organizers are brilliant for so much more than shoes; I have one on the inside of my linen closet full of cleaning supplies, and one on the back of the office door for random computer cords.  Coat hooks for coats, scarves, and bathrobes.  And matching wooden hangers for the front coat closet.  You need more organizational tools.  (Though I may be projecting a bit.)

badbnagdway

lovemesomemonster said:

Thanks for the input! My MOH wanted to throw me a shower, I told her I didn't want a shower with the gifts etc so we are just doing a "I came home" party since I live out of state and it's an excuse to get together. I honestly feel silly even doing a registry but we have already been asked by multiple people where we are registered and older relatives have expressed interest in getting us something. We don't like clutter and don't need/want 3 can openers which is why I would rather guide people to something I would use instead of just not having a registry. We have everything we need, so now it's about upgrading I suppose.. our price ranges are $400+ for knives, down to an ice cream scoop and everything in between... My biggest concern was getting a side eye because it is the most expensive of something.. example: I really want the Turkish cotton towels and if I were to get new towels tomorrow that is what I would buy, but a bath towel is $40 and I felt bad asking for that so I registered for the $25 towel.. I don't want people to think I'm greedy but all of my stuff is functional now so if I'm going to change it out I want quality "forever" stuff.. 

I would not recommend registering for stuff you do not actually want/need. I would say if the only towels you would have use for are $40 towels, then register for those. I do kind of side-eye people who have nothing in the under $50 range on their registry, so definitely keep those items on there. 

You never know what people will spend or give to you. We really didn't have many big ticket items on our registry, I think the most expensive thing was not more than $200 because we have a lot of big ticket items people register for - we have the Kitchenaid mixer, we have the grill, etc. I was surprised some of my aunts and uncles not only came to the wedding but also gave us $400 checks. We got two Tiffany's gifts (candlesticks and a vase) that we didn't register for. Meanwhile almost every single one of our close friends in town did not get us a gift. It doesn't matter and you can trust that people will give you what they can afford. 

the2016bride2be

I'm not registering until January 2016, getting married June 11 2016, but I've been eying various websites, like Macy's. You want  items for your home that will last you a life time then put it on your registry.  There's a toaster that my fiance'  saw at Crate and Barrel a few months back and loves it. Its around $100- $200. Yes its expensive, but we know our circle of people that we are inviting. Some wouldn't be able to afford/ buy it and others can. We aren't going to go for the most expensive towels, but we want the nice kind that will last for 5 + years. I wouldn't stress over it if i were you. You can always add and delete items.

Best of luck

randomslove

Do you have any joint hobbies with FI that you could use new gear for?

My FI and I are both gamers and have been living together for a while, so we don't "need" much as far as household stuff. I'm adding in little things like a food scale, upgrading our dinnerware, things like that. But we are also registering at Gamestop when we get closer to the wedding. Co-op video games, a new controller or two for our various systems, memory cards.

lovemesomemonster

randomslove said:

Do you have any joint hobbies with FI that you could use new gear for?

My FI and I are both gamers and have been living together for a while, so we don't "need" much as far as household stuff. I'm adding in little things like a food scale, upgrading our dinnerware, things like that. But we are also registering at Gamestop when we get closer to the wedding. Co-op video games, a new controller or two for our various systems, memory cards.

Not really hobbies we could justify registering for, they are too expensive. We snowboard, snowmobile, hike, backpack etc. But we have all of the gear for that and as much as I would like a new snowmobile it will not be going on a registry! 

I have found some more kitchen gadgets etc to register for, I'm feeling better about it now!