The "No Kids" thing...again...

fyrchk

I should clarify, when I said, "Okay." It was definitely known that it was an "Okay, you aren't coming to the wedding."

Would it be tacky if I had another co-worker mention something to her about kids not being invited?

Liatris2010

fyrchk said:

I should clarify, when I said, "Okay." It was definitely known that it was an "Okay, you aren't coming to the wedding."

Would it be tacky if I had another co-worker mention something to her about kids not being invited?

Yes. Don't drag other people into this drama. It is unprofessional. Confront her one on one.

fyrchk

Okay. Thanks! I will continue with the "no children" line. And if she keeps it up, it'll go "Seriously, not funny. Don't bring your kid."

MandyMost

How about the next time any of these people mention bringing their kids, you say...

"I can't quite tell if you're joking or not when you mention little [Kid's Name] coming to the wedding! We're only inviting you and [Husband/Date], we're not having a kid-friendly affair, and aren't planning for any children. I just wanted to make sure you had plenty of time to find a babysitter if you want to attend! If you decide not to come I totally understand. We'd love to get together with the whole family another day!"

Jen4948

Liatris2010 said:

banana468 said:

Jen4948 said:

MairePoppy said:

ditto whovianstark. That's why I'd write 'Sorry, No Children' on her invitation and/or if there's an RSVP, write her and her S/Os name on it. It beats stationing a bouncer at the door to eject a little kid dressed in flower girl dress.

Even with a "No Children" message in the invitation and on her website, this BSC person is probably still going to show up with her kid in a flower girl dress. Having her bounced, as sad as that would be for the poor kid, might be the only way to drive the message home.

That's why I think she may need to have the conversation as a face to face one now.   The BSC co-irker already opened the door so in this case I think it's more than fine to clarify and then clarify again. 

Ditto Banana.

 

"Coworker, I want to be clear that your daughter is not invited to the wedding and that she will not be our flowergirl. If you were to show up with an uninvited guest, it would strain our friendship, and I don't want that to happen because [despite that fact that you ae pushy and dense you have at least one redeemable quality]."

I'd still be willing to wager that even with all these warnings she'll still show up with her kid all dressed up ready to be a flower girl. These are great things to say, but with someone this dense, they'll go in one ear and out the other.

bizzy592

I went to a no-kids wedding where a guy brought his 3yo as his +1. In a poofy little white princess dress. I don't think the couple said anything, but the kid was miserable, and so they didn't stay long.

fyrchk

bizzy592 said:

I went to a no-kids wedding where a guy brought his 3yo as his +1. In a poofy little white princess dress. I don't think the couple said anything, but the kid was miserable, and so they didn't stay long.

THIS is what I'm afraid of. *sigh*

hyechica81

be firm about it and let her know if you show up to the venue with your child there will be only one seat and that is for you. or you could say the venue will not allow you inside. tell her i total understand if you cant make it because of this but after everything is settled down after the wedding we could get together and do something with you and your daughter.

MrsHtobe2015

ive even got : "if my kids cant come then we cant."

  "well sorry to hear that, we will miss you"

flantastic

MrsHtobe2015 said:

ive even got : "if my kids cant come then we cant."

  "well sorry to hear that, we will miss you"

Obviously this is the proper response, but that is a legitimate reality for people. They shouldn't use it to fish for an invite for the kids, but if they're just telling you then it may be by means of explanation for their decline - it's not that they want to decline, they still love you, but it's not going to work to leave the kids elsewhere.

SP29

MrsHtobe2015 said:

ive even got : "if my kids cant come then we cant."

  "well sorry to hear that, we will miss you"

This. If coworker threatens, then tell her, "I am sorry you are unable to attend, you will be missed". 

And, don't explain yourself. There is nothing wrong with inviting 100, 5 or no children. It is your choice and you don't need a reason. Generally it seems if you try explaining your reasons to a BSC person they come up with ways to "fix" the perceived problem (Oh, I can't bring Suzy because of cost? It's ok, I'll pay for her dinner! Or she'll just sit on my lap! She can leave with a sitter after dessert! Etc).