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Ceremony situation--Help!

Knottie52555298Knottie52555298 member
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in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
Hi everyone,
My fiance and I are getting married in the Catholic church, and will be having a full mass ceremony. Our priest told us that one of my bridesmaids needs to cover up the tattoo on her back (which will be seen as she's wearing a strapless bridesmaid dress). I do understand where he's coming from since it's going to be a full Catholic mass, and there is a level of respect in church for having certain things covered.

Did anyone else run into this issue? What did you do?
Anyone know how she can cover up the tattoo without using a shawl or sweater? (Wedding is August 1).
Thanks!
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Re: Ceremony situation--Help!

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    lachattefatalelachattefatale member
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    Having tried to cover a tattoo for several job interviews, let me tell ya: I always resort to sleeves. It is so hard to find makeup that will cover a tattoo and that also comes in the same shade as your skin, and then once you do find such a thing, it's expensive, it takes a lot of time and effort to apply, and no matter what they claim, it does rub off on clothes a bit.

    If she does choose to cover it with makeup, I'd go for Dermablend and buy the whole system--concealer, body foundation, and setting powder. But be aware that it darkens as it dries, so getting a good match is really difficult.

    It will probably be a zillion times easier (and cheaper) to suck it up and toss a lightweight chiffon or lace shawl around her shoulders; something with a fairly open weave like that shouldn't be too hot, but should still make the tattoo unnoticeable.
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    flantasticflantastic member
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    Knottie52555298 said:

    Hi everyone,

    My fiance and I are getting married in the Catholic church, and will be having a full mass ceremony. Our priest told us that one of my bridesmaids needs to cover up the tattoo on her back (which will be seen as she's wearing a strapless bridesmaid dress). I do understand where he's coming from since it's going to be a full Catholic mass, and there is a level of respect in church for having certain things covered.

    Did anyone else run into this issue? What did you do?
    Anyone know how she can cover up the tattoo without using a shawl or sweater? (Wedding is August 1).
    Thanks!
    I'm surprised that he didn't want some sort of covering for all the strapless dresses, unless it's an obscene tattoo. I'm with Lynda in that you should get shoulder coverings for all the girls. What's wrong with a shawl or sweater? It's not like they have to wear them for your WP pictures or reception.
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    banana468banana468 member
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    Id go with shawls for all. My mom made ones for my BMs that they wore for the ceremony only and they were linen.
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
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    Walmart (!) had these: 

    http://www.walmart.com/ip/Fashion-Avenue-Women-s-Chevron-Shrug/43330859

    http://www.walmart.com/ip/Fashion-Avenue-Women-s-Open-Short-Sleeve-Cardigan-with-Lace-Detail/43330869

    http://www.walmart.com/ip/George-UK-Women-s-Short-Sleeve-Open-Crochet-Shrug/43380529




    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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    holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
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    Our church had a strict no strapless policy.  Some do, some don't.  It honestly varies by parish and pastor.  Just have them all wear a pashmina or bolero.  I'm sure it will be fine.




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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    I vote going with a shawl just because you can find nice ones affordably and then they can be ditched easily for photos & reception.
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    Knottie52555298Knottie52555298 member
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    Thank you for your thoughts everyone. Yes, it does vary by church and pastor. Strapless took a little while for him to okay. The shawls make sense, though.

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    mrscomposermrscomposer member
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    I had bought all my girls pashminas for them to drape across their shoulders if they got chilly through the night - they ended up using them during our pictures, which were outside.  I think I got them at Ardene for five bucks each or something like that.
    **The OMH formerly known as jsangel1018**
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    BlueBirdMBBlueBirdMB member
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    climbingwife said:

    Is the tattoo of the devil? 


    It's odd that he's fine with strapless dresses but the tattoo is an issue. But yeah, shawls. 
    Exactly!  It would bother me singling out one girl to change something about herself for my ceremony, so I'd just ask everyone to wear a shall to cover their shoulders.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    I agree with PP, to make it less obvious, I would have all the girls where a shawl.
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    flbride2015flbride2015 member
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    adk19 said:

    How does the priest even know you have a bridesmaid with a tattoo that will be visible in a strapless dress?  I don't understand how something like that comes up in conversation.


    I was wondering the same thing. Do priests normally ask brides and grooms about the potential existence of tattoos on their wedding party?
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    lyndausvilyndausvi mod
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    flbride2015 said:

    adk19 said:

    How does the priest even know you have a bridesmaid with a tattoo that will be visible in a strapless dress?  I don't understand how something like that comes up in conversation.


    I was wondering the same thing. Do priests normally ask brides and grooms about the potential existence of tattoos on their wedding party?
    If they have restrictions they will ask.  Or at the very least they go over the restrictions with the couple.

    It's not cool to lie to a priest.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    classicalandedgyclassicalandedgy member
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    flantastic said:

    Knottie52555298 said:

    Hi everyone,

    My fiance and I are getting married in the Catholic church, and will be having a full mass ceremony. Our priest told us that one of my bridesmaids needs to cover up the tattoo on her back (which will be seen as she's wearing a strapless bridesmaid dress). I do understand where he's coming from since it's going to be a full Catholic mass, and there is a level of respect in church for having certain things covered.

    Did anyone else run into this issue? What did you do?
    Anyone know how she can cover up the tattoo without using a shawl or sweater? (Wedding is August 1).
    Thanks!
    I'm surprised that he didn't want some sort of covering for all the strapless dresses, unless it's an obscene tattoo. I'm with Lynda in that you should get shoulder coverings for all the girls. What's wrong with a shawl or sweater? It's not like they have to wear them for your WP pictures or reception.

    I too am surprised that all of the girls don't have to have their shoulders covered in church...  But I'd definitely just go the shawl route for all of the girls and call it a day.  Trying to cover her tattoo is a real PITA..

    image

     

     

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    KaileiNicheleKaileiNichele member
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    Could she just wear her hair down?

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    TrixieJessTrixieJess member
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    This must be just this priest and church. I was in a wedding almost 20 years ago and I have a visible back tattoo (strapless dress) and an ankle tattoo. Neither were a big deal to the priest. Mind you, he knew better (I grew up in that church). :)

    Kat Von D makes a make-up concealer that covers tattoos very well and you can get it at Sephora.
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    photokittyphotokitty mod
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    lyndausvi said:

    flbride2015 said:

    adk19 said:

    How does the priest even know you have a bridesmaid with a tattoo that will be visible in a strapless dress?  I don't understand how something like that comes up in conversation.


    I was wondering the same thing. Do priests normally ask brides and grooms about the potential existence of tattoos on their wedding party?
    If they have restrictions they will ask.  Or at the very least they go over the restrictions with the couple.

    It's not cool to lie to a priest.
    My friend had the priest Ask the color of Her wedding gown. It was blush and he told Her it had to be white or ivory or She couldn't get married in the cathedral. She literally had to go buy a new dress bc they had that restriction. So questioning if anyone has tattoos doesn't surprise me at all. Crazy rules...
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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    jacquip76jacquip76 member
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    photokitty said:

    lyndausvi said:

    flbride2015 said:

    adk19 said:

    How does the priest even know you have a bridesmaid with a tattoo that will be visible in a strapless dress?  I don't understand how something like that comes up in conversation.


    I was wondering the same thing. Do priests normally ask brides and grooms about the potential existence of tattoos on their wedding party?
    If they have restrictions they will ask.  Or at the very least they go over the restrictions with the couple.

    It's not cool to lie to a priest.
    My friend had the priest Ask the color of Her wedding gown. It was blush and he told Her it had to be white or ivory or She couldn't get married in the cathedral. She literally had to go buy a new dress bc they had that restriction. So questioning if anyone has tattoos doesn't surprise me at all. Crazy rules...



    That rule has to be the craziest one I've heard, @photokitty

    When I got married in a church for my first wedding, I wasn't allowed to wear a white dress because I had a baby.  I didn't like the rule but I understood their reasoning.

    The gown can't be blush though?  I can't figure out a reason for that one.

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    marie2785marie2785 member
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    jacquip76 said:

     

    photokitty said:

    lyndausvi said:

    flbride2015 said:

    adk19 said:

    How does the priest even know you have a bridesmaid with a tattoo that will be visible in a strapless dress?  I don't understand how something like that comes up in conversation.


    I was wondering the same thing. Do priests normally ask brides and grooms about the potential existence of tattoos on their wedding party?
    If they have restrictions they will ask.  Or at the very least they go over the restrictions with the couple.

    It's not cool to lie to a priest.
    My friend had the priest Ask the color of Her wedding gown. It was blush and he told Her it had to be white or ivory or She couldn't get married in the cathedral. She literally had to go buy a new dress bc they had that restriction. So questioning if anyone has tattoos doesn't surprise me at all. Crazy rules...



    That rule has to be the craziest one I've heard, @photokitty

    When I got married in a church for my first wedding, I wasn't allowed to wear a white dress because I had a baby.  I didn't like the rule but I understood their reasoning.

    The gown can't be blush though?  I can't figure out a reason for that one.

    The sad thing is, NONE of the rules are part of official doctrine of any sort. It's just priests making up their own rules, which is ridiculous. White dresses are a new thing anyways--they have nothing to do with purity, so any priest restricting that is a serious jerk. 

    I'm getting married in a Catholic Church and the only restriction on me and my bridesmaids dresses was to "keep it tasteful--this is a church after all". They clarified strapless was fine, but "things like see through dresses are really pushing it". 
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    redoryxredoryx member
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    edited May 2015
    jacquip76 said:

     

    lyndausvi said:

    flbride2015 said:

    adk19 said:

    How does the priest even know you have a bridesmaid with a tattoo that will be visible in a strapless dress?  I don't understand how something like that comes up in conversation.


    I was wondering the same thing. Do priests normally ask brides and grooms about the potential existence of tattoos on their wedding party?
    If they have restrictions they will ask.  Or at the very least they go over the restrictions with the couple.

    It's not cool to lie to a priest.
    My friend had the priest Ask the color of Her wedding gown. It was blush and he told Her it had to be white or ivory or She couldn't get married in the cathedral. She literally had to go buy a new dress bc they had that restriction. So questioning if anyone has tattoos doesn't surprise me at all. Crazy rules...



    That rule has to be the craziest one I've heard, @photokitty

    When I got married in a church for my first wedding, I wasn't allowed to wear a white dress because I had a baby.  I didn't like the rule but I understood their reasoning.

    The gown can't be blush though?  I can't figure out a reason for that one.

    **boxesboxesboxes**

    That reasoning doesn't make any sense: when Queen Victoria wore a white wedding dress in 1840 it was a very unusual move and the decision had nothing to do with purity. That was sort of the start of the trend.
    image
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    photokittyphotokitty mod
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    edited May 2015
    redoryx said: jacquip76 said:**boxesboxesboxes**That reasoning doesn't make any sense: when Queen Victoria wore a white wedding dress in 1840 it was a very unusual move and the decision had nothing to do with purity. That was sort of the start of the trend.
    *******BOXES*******ETA*************

    Bc the reasoning of men, the people running the Catholic church, ALWAYS make sense :unamused: Don't even get me started on my annulment...

    I'll let them have their "no strapless" rule. I wouldn't think strapless was really appropriate on a normal Sunday, so I can understand that one - I don't agree, but I get it. Color - give me a break! Now you're just being a jerk.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    photokitty said:

    lyndausvi said:

    flbride2015 said:

    adk19 said:

    How does the priest even know you have a bridesmaid with a tattoo that will be visible in a strapless dress?  I don't understand how something like that comes up in conversation.


    I was wondering the same thing. Do priests normally ask brides and grooms about the potential existence of tattoos on their wedding party?
    If they have restrictions they will ask.  Or at the very least they go over the restrictions with the couple.

    It's not cool to lie to a priest.
    My friend had the priest Ask the color of Her wedding gown. It was blush and he told Her it had to be white or ivory or She couldn't get married in the cathedral. She literally had to go buy a new dress bc they had that restriction. So questioning if anyone has tattoos doesn't surprise me at all. Crazy rules...
    Seriously?  I don't understand how a dress color is the priest's business.  What would he have said if instead of a "blush" dress she had decided to wear a navy blue dress?  Well, you see, I'm very pale and light colors just don't look good on me.  Blue is my favorite color so I wanted to wear it on my wedding day.  Nope, sorry, if you want to get married in the cathedral your dress has to be white or ivory.  Fuck that noise.
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    artbyallieartbyallie mod
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    That priest needs to learn color symbology. Has he never noticed that the Virgin Mary wears blue most of the time?
    image
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    ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
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    artbyallie said:

    That priest needs to learn color symbology. Has he never noticed that the Virgin Mary wears blue most of the time?

    Ssssssssssssssssssssssssymbolism. I believe the word you're looking for is sssssssymbolism. 




    (please tell me you've seen Boondock Saints because otherwise I look like a dick here)
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
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    agapecarrieagapecarrie member
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    If we're talking about symbolism-- then it does stand that a wedding dress is white-- it is a continuation of the Christian life: white baptismal garment. Then a white dress for first communion, and the white pall placed on the casket at one's funeral (symbolizing the baptismal garment). When priests are ordained, they wear albs. (As well as those serving a mass). 

    In the Roman rite church, the couple ministers the sacrament to each other, so as ministers of a sacrament, wearing white isn't far fetched.

    However, this isn't stated in the rubrics for a Catholic wedding rite, and there are many allowances for cultural differences for weddings in the rubrics. 
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    banana468banana468 member
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    agapecarrie said:

    If we're talking about symbolism-- then it does stand that a wedding dress is white-- it is a continuation of the Christian life: white baptismal garment. Then a white dress for first communion, and the white pall placed on the casket at one's funeral (symbolizing the baptismal garment). When priests are ordained, they wear albs. (As well as those serving a mass). 


    In the Roman rite church, the couple ministers the sacrament to each other, so as ministers of a sacrament, wearing white isn't far fetched.

    However, this isn't stated in the rubrics for a Catholic wedding rite, and there are many allowances for cultural differences for weddings in the rubrics. 
    That's the point.   The priest did this because he could.   That's different than preferring modesty (shoulder coverings / no low cut) but most "blush" toned dresses look white in the right light.  And to force someone to go out and buy a new dress is a power trip. 
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