Dear Amy: I am a grandmother, with four beautiful/handsome grandchildren.
Our oldest grandchild is a beautiful, blond, smart 18-year-old girl. We are Caucasian. She is dating an African American and we in the family are disappointed and outraged.
She sees nothing wrong with this. We all have black friends and acquaintances, but dating or marrying African Americans has never crossed our minds.
I know it's not as taboo as it was years ago, but we just can't see this happening. We've tried telling her it's not an easy road to travel and that there are consequences with this relationship. Help! She says we are racists. Are we? — Disappointed Gramma
Dear Gramma: The only thing you note as being unacceptable about your granddaughter's boyfriend is his race. According to you, he is by definition flawed and "wrong" for your family member because of the color of his skin. So yes. You're racists.
But don't take my word for it — ask your black friends and acquaintances what they think.
You state that there are "consequences" to your granddaughter's choice to date across race lines, but for her the main consequence might be the sad realization that for her grandparents, love really is only skin deep.