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Daughter wants to call fiance dad

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Re: Daughter wants to call fiance dad

  • I think what it really comes down to is every kid, every relationship and every family is different.  I don't think it's an issue to give your ex a heads up that your kid wants to call your FI Dad.  All of the adults maintaining a good relationship for the sake of your daughter is the most important part for HER wellbeing, which is the goal here, so just a simple "hey so you're not caught off guard, daughter wants to call FI Dad, and will keep calling you whatever she's calling you now" clears the path if everyone can be rational.  If he acts irrationally by that, you can go from there but emphasize this was your daughter's idea, not  yours and it's what she's comfortable with.


    There is no one right or wrong thing to do with kids in this situation, no one is right and no one is wrong since every situation is unique.  This isn't something like "yes all kids 100% have to wear a seatbelt in a car."  It;'s emotions and relationships and back stories we aren't privy to so your entire blended family needs to learn how to navigate these things.
    I agree 100%. I was thinking about this last night and my first thought was that I'd be hurt if I were that dad. My stepdad did a lot of shit for me but he's not my dad, never was and I'd never call him that. 

    But then I thought of my boss' family - the DIL calls them mom and dad. My friend's kids call her BF dad. No problem. 

    My point is to agree with PP that there's no concrete right or wrong and every family is different. This isn't something that internet strangers can answer for OP.
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  • FiancBFiancB member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited May 2015
    I don't have kids and also don't have divorced parents or stepparents so take what I say with a grain of salt but...

    I think it's a good thing. Kid wants to, stepdad's cool with it, good to go. That doesn't mean she can't still call bio-dad dad when she sees him. I'm guessing it gives her a sense of security, and she knows that from here on out, this guy is basically stepping in as dad. She might change her mind when she's a teen and decide to call him  by his first name or whatever, but I can't really see any possible bad coming from this. 

    Unless you live in a weird state apparently, or if bio-dad gets butthurt over it, but who really cares. 

    I mean I called both sets of grandparents grandma/grampa and it really wasn't that confusing. 
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