MealBaby. Is this a thing now?

theartistformerlyknownas

adk19 said:

Heh.  Apparently I didn't delete the original email.  I just thought I did since the wording made me gag.

You have been invited to participate in a meal registry for K!

The following link is private and is associated with the email address that this email has been sent to. Please click on the link and either sign in or create an account to view this registry:

What is MealBaby?
MealBaby.com is an online service that allows people to plan and organize all the details of a meal registry. Whether you just had a new baby, are recovering from surgery or just need friends and family to bring you meals, MealBaby is the free and easy way to make it happen. With calendar planning tools, customized food preferences and gift card options - MealBaby is meal registry made easy.

Enjoy!
MealBaby Staff

("...or just need friends and family to bring you meals..." is what makes this art.)

I need you all to bring me peanut butter cups, because... I don't have any peanut butter cups. Look for a link in your inbox soon.

[Deleted User]

.

blabla89

I've heard on this and I don't have a problem with the idea, but it had never occurred to me that someone could be so rude as to set one up for themselves. How incredibly tacky. Calling it a registry also rubs me the wrong way.

Cookie Pusher

lolo883 said:

adk19 said:

Heh.  Apparently I didn't delete the original email.  I just thought I did since the wording made me gag.

You have been invited to participate in a meal registry for K!

The following link is private and is associated with the email address that this email has been sent to. Please click on the link and either sign in or create an account to view this registry:

What is MealBaby?
MealBaby.com is an online service that allows people to plan and organize all the details of a meal registry. Whether you just had a new baby, are recovering from surgery or just need friends and family to bring you meals, MealBaby is the free and easy way to make it happen. With calendar planning tools, customized food preferences and gift card options - MealBaby is meal registry made easy.

Enjoy!
MealBaby Staff

("...or just need friends and family to bring you meals..." is what makes this art.)

I need you all to bring me peanut butter cups, because... I don't have any peanut butter cups. Look for a link in your inbox soon.

Do you want Reese's ones or would homemade dark chocolate ones suffice?

sophhabobopha

Okay but why. I don't have kids so I may be off base here, but do you lose all ability to care for yourself after having a baby? Do you need someone to wipe you ass too?

JennyColada

Hey guys, I did a spin class this AM and my legs are TIRED. I'm already sitting on the couch and watching Legally Blonde on Netflix, but now I'm hungry.

So expect an email from me soon!

theartistformerlyknownas

Cookie Pusher said:

lolo883 said:

adk19 said:

Heh.  Apparently I didn't delete the original email.  I just thought I did since the wording made me gag.

You have been invited to participate in a meal registry for K!

The following link is private and is associated with the email address that this email has been sent to. Please click on the link and either sign in or create an account to view this registry:

What is MealBaby?
MealBaby.com is an online service that allows people to plan and organize all the details of a meal registry. Whether you just had a new baby, are recovering from surgery or just need friends and family to bring you meals, MealBaby is the free and easy way to make it happen. With calendar planning tools, customized food preferences and gift card options - MealBaby is meal registry made easy.

Enjoy!
MealBaby Staff

("...or just need friends and family to bring you meals..." is what makes this art.)

I need you all to bring me peanut butter cups, because... I don't have any peanut butter cups. Look for a link in your inbox soon.

Do you want Reese's ones or would homemade dark chocolate ones suffice?

Whatever gets into my facehole the quickest.

[Deleted User]

.

lovesclimbing

I have seen similar ones, and I don't mind them when set up by someone else. When someone in my church has had surgery or a difficult pregnancy or something, someone will often coordinate a list -sometimes online but usually paper- so all the people wanting to help don't all drop off meals the first day they're at home.

I find it incredibly tacky for someone to set something like this up for themselves.

theartistformerlyknownas

sophhabobopha said:

Okay but why. I don't have kids so I may be off base here, but do you lose all ability to care for yourself after having a baby? Do you need someone to wipe you ass too?

Oh girl. Wiping your ass is the least of your concerns after pushing a kid out. The searing pain leading to your ass needing to be wiped, if you can even go to the bathroom, that's the bigger problem. (ahem @ashley8918) And then, ya know, washing the stitches with your squirt bottle.

You're supposed to stay off your feet as much as you can following a c-section, too. And I've had friends who couldn't put the baby down for 2 minutes without it screaming bloody murder. So even if you're up and moving, it's one handed. 

I ALWAYS bring meals for new moms, because even if you physically can cook for yourself, it's the last thing you want to do. I would never in a million years ask for them though.

JennyColada

You've failed me guys. I ended up eating celery.

CELERY.

I am disappoint.

sarahufl

lolo883 said:

sophhabobopha said:

Okay but why. I don't have kids so I may be off base here, but do you lose all ability to care for yourself after having a baby? Do you need someone to wipe you ass too?

Oh girl. Wiping your ass is the least of your concerns after pushing a kid out. The searing pain leading to your ass needing to be wiped, if you can even go to the bathroom, that's the bigger problem. (ahem @ashley8918) And then, ya know, washing the stitches with your squirt bottle.

You're supposed to stay off your feet as much as you can following a c-section, too. And I've had friends who couldn't put the baby down for 2 minutes without it screaming bloody murder. So even if you're up and moving, it's one handed. 

I ALWAYS bring meals for new moms, because even if you physically can cook for yourself, it's the last thing you want to do. I would never in a million years ask for them though.

I always bring meals, too. For these reasons and the fact that other people are probably bringing all the onesies.

We just went to a baby shower and their registry was kind of picked over so we got them $100 gift card to a grocery delivery service instead.

hellosweetie1015

lolo883 said:

adk19 said:

Heh.  Apparently I didn't delete the original email.  I just thought I did since the wording made me gag.

You have been invited to participate in a meal registry for K!

The following link is private and is associated with the email address that this email has been sent to. Please click on the link and either sign in or create an account to view this registry:

What is MealBaby?
MealBaby.com is an online service that allows people to plan and organize all the details of a meal registry. Whether you just had a new baby, are recovering from surgery or just need friends and family to bring you meals, MealBaby is the free and easy way to make it happen. With calendar planning tools, customized food preferences and gift card options - MealBaby is meal registry made easy.

Enjoy!
MealBaby Staff

("...or just need friends and family to bring you meals..." is what makes this art.)

I need you all to bring me peanut butter cups, because... I don't have any peanut butter cups. Look for a link in your inbox soon.

WHY weren't you around last night? I bought a king-size Reese's Big Cup and couldn't give the second one away, so I had to eat it. It was a hard life last night.

flantastic

lolo883 said:

sophhabobopha said:

Okay but why. I don't have kids so I may be off base here, but do you lose all ability to care for yourself after having a baby? Do you need someone to wipe you ass too?

Oh girl. Wiping your ass is the least of your concerns after pushing a kid out. The searing pain leading to your ass needing to be wiped, if you can even go to the bathroom, that's the bigger problem. (ahem @ashley8918) And then, ya know, washing the stitches with your squirt bottle.

You're supposed to stay off your feet as much as you can following a c-section, too. And I've had friends who couldn't put the baby down for 2 minutes without it screaming bloody murder. So even if you're up and moving, it's one handed. 

I ALWAYS bring meals for new moms, because even if you physically can cook for yourself, it's the last thing you want to do. I would never in a million years ask for them though.

My SIL says that with each of her friends, she drops a meal off on their doorstep and then texts them that it's there right after she leaves - just in case it's not convenient for them to see her or feel like they have to be presentable or show off the baby at that moment. That's a lovely and very thoughtful gesture, but never something anyone should demand from other people.

drunkenwitch

Ugh. Yuck. Gross.

My circle of friends takes peoples meals after someone has a baby, or someone had surgery or is sickor is dealing with a loss etc... but BUT It's always organized by someone else on behalf of the couple or person and it's only emailed to people who have expressed in interest in helping out.

That "invite" mentioned in the OP is just tacky.

KatWAG

sophhabobopha said:

Okay but why. I don't have kids so I may be off base here, but do you lose all ability to care for yourself after having a baby? Do you need someone to wipe you ass too?

After I had my LO, the nurse actually did help me and I didn't even need stitches. She also helped me put on the extra sexy mess underwear and my jumbo pad.  

KatieinBkln

KatWAG said:

sophhabobopha said:

Okay but why. I don't have kids so I may be off base here, but do you lose all ability to care for yourself after having a baby? Do you need someone to wipe you ass too?

After I had my LO, the nurse actually did help me and I didn't even need stitches. She also helped me put on the extra sexy mess underwear and my jumbo pad.  

Nurses are fucking saints. That is all I have to say about that.

Kahlyla

*TMI*


Oooh, yeah. The first few nights, I nursed standing up (NOT comfortable, btw). Because it hurt too much to sit down, even in a comfy chair. Because hemorrhoids, because pushing. Guys, it was like there was a bunch of grapes stuck back there!

When DH came home with an ass pillow and I first sat down on it, I wept openly.

Cooking, showering? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(In reality, you can shower regularly enough if you've got your partner or someone there with you, and we were lucky that he took all the parental leave, since I was in school and working part-time and could just make it work. It's just that at first, my boys wanted to nurse like every twenty minutes. So it could literally be hard to find enough time. H once brought the oldest to me to nurse IN THE BATH.)

Oh, I'm not advocating for this registry idea at all, by the way!

banana468

I was way more of a mess after DD than with DS but yeah - no way could I do it myself.   I had the baby blues which SUCKED.   Imagine you're crying nonstop and the only thing you want to do is sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time but you're leaking out of your boobs, you can't pee, it hurts to sit down, you're anemic and there's this THING SCREAMING AT YOU and you don't know how to make it stop.   Yeah, the prep I did myself involved opening a cereal bar.   

Oh, and if it's your first and the first grandchild, you could also have people wanting to show up to visit.   Note: visiting is the suck.   I had no desire to entertain.   I'd just had a baby.   If you just had an 8 lb tumor removed no one would think, "I think I'll pop over and visit her for a few hours" but for some reason, the moms think that's the time to come over and play peek a boo with the baby who can't see.

Now after DS, life was a lot easier even though we had two.   I didn't have the blues, I could walk around and feeling like I had a freakin' clue was key.   But a lot of that is based on emotional state.

Now the mom to be in this case has a set of brass ones on her that would echo in the Grand Canyon but the premise is still halfway decent.   

afox007

I would prefer this be set up by someone other than the parents, but have seen it be just as gross when someone else organizes it. I had a couple I worked with who were going to take simultaneous maternity/paternity leave. 

A few women in the office set up a sign up list to bring food daily for like a month. I think it was two weeks prior to the due date and a three weeks after. I saw the email go out, I saw the sign up in the break room and ignored it. I wasn't close to either the mom or dad to be, and if they were both home there was no reason one of them couldn't figure out food. 

I was sent follow up emails for a week reminding me to sign up. The handful of other coworkers who didn't sign up and the expectant couple were all CC'd on the emails. I think most of us still ignored her and never signed up. I had half a mind to sign up for bacon mac n cheese since I knew the couple was on a whole gluten free kick. 

sophhabobopha

lolo883 said:

sophhabobopha said:

Okay but why. I don't have kids so I may be off base here, but do you lose all ability to care for yourself after having a baby? Do you need someone to wipe you ass too?

Oh girl. Wiping your ass is the least of your concerns after pushing a kid out. The searing pain leading to your ass needing to be wiped, if you can even go to the bathroom, that's the bigger problem. (ahem @ashley8918) And then, ya know, washing the stitches with your squirt bottle.

You're supposed to stay off your feet as much as you can following a c-section, too. And I've had friends who couldn't put the baby down for 2 minutes without it screaming bloody murder. So even if you're up and moving, it's one handed. 

I ALWAYS bring meals for new moms, because even if you physically can cook for yourself, it's the last thing you want to do. I would never in a million years ask for them though.

Oh fuck that's scary.

Point taken.

hellosweetie1015

banana468 said:

I was way more of a mess after DD than with DS but yeah - no way could I do it myself.   I had the baby blues which SUCKED.   Imagine you're crying nonstop and the only thing you want to do is sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time but you're leaking out of your boobs, you can't pee, it hurts to sit down, you're anemic and there's this THING SCREAMING AT YOU and you don't know how to make it stop.   Yeah, the prep I did myself involved opening a cereal bar.   

Oh, and if it's your first and the first grandchild, you could also have people wanting to show up to visit.   Note: visiting is the suck.   I had no desire to entertain.   I'd just had a baby.   If you just had an 8 lb tumor removed no one would think, "I think I'll pop over and visit her for a few hours" but for some reason, the moms think that's the time to come over and play peek a boo with the baby who can't see.

Now after DS, life was a lot easier even though we had two.   I didn't have the blues, I could walk around and feeling like I had a freakin' clue was key.   But a lot of that is based on emotional state.

Now the mom to be in this case has a set of brass ones on her that would echo in the Grand Canyon but the premise is still halfway decent.   

I literally just felt all the blood run out of my face. If/when we start TTC, it will likely be the first grandbaby on both sides.

I was thinking I'd want to be close to at least one set of parents. Now I want to be so far away that "popping in" is NOT possible. I don't like people on good days.

JennyColada

hellosweetie1015 said:

banana468 said:

I was way more of a mess after DD than with DS but yeah - no way could I do it myself.   I had the baby blues which SUCKED.   Imagine you're crying nonstop and the only thing you want to do is sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time but you're leaking out of your boobs, you can't pee, it hurts to sit down, you're anemic and there's this THING SCREAMING AT YOU and you don't know how to make it stop.   Yeah, the prep I did myself involved opening a cereal bar.   

Oh, and if it's your first and the first grandchild, you could also have people wanting to show up to visit.   Note: visiting is the suck.   I had no desire to entertain.   I'd just had a baby.   If you just had an 8 lb tumor removed no one would think, "I think I'll pop over and visit her for a few hours" but for some reason, the moms think that's the time to come over and play peek a boo with the baby who can't see.

Now after DS, life was a lot easier even though we had two.   I didn't have the blues, I could walk around and feeling like I had a freakin' clue was key.   But a lot of that is based on emotional state.

Now the mom to be in this case has a set of brass ones on her that would echo in the Grand Canyon but the premise is still halfway decent.   

I literally just felt all the blood run out of my face. If/when we start TTC, it will likely be the first grandbaby on both sides.

I was thinking I'd want to be close to at least one set of parents. Now I want to be so far away that "popping in" is NOT possible. I don't like people on good days.

Meanwhile, DH is like "wouldn't it be great it we could turn the extra bedroom into a guestroom? That way when we have a baby my mom and come and stay for a week! Wouldn't that be great?!"

Sure, yea babe. Grrrrrreat.

drunkenwitch

sophhabobopha said:

Okay but why. I don't have kids so I may be off base here, but do you lose all ability to care for yourself after having a baby? Do you need someone to wipe you ass too?

I don't have kids but I have dropped off plenty of meals and those first few weeks after a kid is fucking hard. You are 100% responsible for a tiny, helpless human being that wakes you up every few hours with demands you have to figure out yourself. Not to mention you probably haven't left the house because you are too damned tired to put in the effort.

So if someone shows up with a meal it's a twofold bonus. 1) you don't have to worry about cooking a meal and doing the cleaning 2) OH THANK GOD AN ADULT I CAN TALK TO.

I'm more than happy to take a couple hours out of my week to help out my friend, when my BF had major surgery, all those folks did the exact same thing for him.

amakayeb

I tried looking through my deleted emails to see if I could find it, but I didn't have any luck--but I am almost positive that on one of the "weekly pregnancy update" emails I suddenly started getting (really, I don't remember signing up for any of them, but I might have), this was listed as one of the "weekly to-do's"...as in, "start organizing family and friends to bring food!"

Ummmm...no.

If anyone offers it will be greatly appreciated, but it is in no way expected. I'm pretty sure that people at church will do something like this (just because it is common to do in our circle), but I would never demand it. 

Instead, I will spend the first week or so of my summer break prepping crock pot freezer meals...

sarahufl

banana468 said:

I was way more of a mess after DD than with DS but yeah - no way could I do it myself.   I had the baby blues which SUCKED.   Imagine you're crying nonstop and the only thing you want to do is sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time but you're leaking out of your boobs, you can't pee, it hurts to sit down, you're anemic and there's this THING SCREAMING AT YOU and you don't know how to make it stop.   Yeah, the prep I did myself involved opening a cereal bar.   

Oh, and if it's your first and the first grandchild, you could also have people wanting to show up to visit.   Note: visiting is the suck.   I had no desire to entertain.   I'd just had a baby.   If you just had an 8 lb tumor removed no one would think, "I think I'll pop over and visit her for a few hours" but for some reason, the moms think that's the time to come over and play peek a boo with the baby who can't see.

Now after DS, life was a lot easier even though we had two.   I didn't have the blues, I could walk around and feeling like I had a freakin' clue was key.   But a lot of that is based on emotional state.

Now the mom to be in this case has a set of brass ones on her that would echo in the Grand Canyon but the premise is still halfway decent.   

My sister said the same thing about visitors. She would specifically invite people over at lunch time in the hopes they would bring food and then have to head home or back to work or whatever and not linger.

banana468

I will say that my mom was awesome. She'd come over and clean and then she'd hold the baby so I could get a nap. But MIL point blank said after DD was born that she wasn't there to help and I wanted to run over her toes with a car.

geebee908

banana468 said:

I will say that my mom was awesome. She'd come over and clean and then she'd hold the baby so I could get a nap. But MIL point blank said after DD was born that she wasn't there to help and I wanted to run over her toes with a car.

I've heard some grandmothers' idea of helping is "I'll take care of the
baby while you cook/clean/do laundry/whatever." NOT OK. Step up and help
with the household stuff so mom can take care of her child and recover
or get the hell out of there and stop being a nuisance.

flantastic

geebee908 said:

banana468 said:

I will say that my mom was awesome. She'd come over and clean and then she'd hold the baby so I could get a nap. But MIL point blank said after DD was born that she wasn't there to help and I wanted to run over her toes with a car.

I've heard some grandmothers' idea of helping is "I'll take care of the
baby while you cook/clean/do laundry/whatever." NOT OK. Step up and help
with the household stuff so mom can take care of her child and recover
or get the hell out of there and stop being a nuisance.

Yep. SIL also said she wanted to cry when her mom swept her floors (this is not MIL).

This is why MIL will be limited in her visiting time.

banana468

geebee908 said:

banana468 said:

I will say that my mom was awesome. She'd come over and clean and then she'd hold the baby so I could get a nap. But MIL point blank said after DD was born that she wasn't there to help and I wanted to run over her toes with a car.

I've heard some grandmothers' idea of helping is "I'll take care of the
baby while you cook/clean/do laundry/whatever." NOT OK. Step up and help
with the household stuff so mom can take care of her child and recover
or get the hell out of there and stop being a nuisance.

Yep. SIL also said she wanted to cry when her mom swept her floors (this is not MIL).

This is why MIL will be limited in her visiting time.

The best thing you can do now is to set the expectations to parents that

1) you aren't running an open house with unlimited visiting hours 

2) You made a human being - not a toy for them to play with.

3) The concept that a grandparent needs to bond with the baby is absolute bullshit.   In those first few weeks, that baby needs his/her mother and others should only hold when parents deem it appropriate.