"Getting married before you get married"

lauracollin2015

I have been lurking here since the Weddit thread about how you guys are so awful and mean, and I came over and finally found a place where I don't feel like I am taking crazy pills.

This one killed me:

http://www.reddit.com/r/weddingplanning/comments/3581xy/getting_married_before_you_get_married/

redoryx

Ugh. So gross.

Just once I wish a speshul snowflake could articulate to me why they even need the legal paperwork. I mean, if they only want to wear the white dress and walk down the aisle and say their vows and celebrate and blah blah blah blah blah why not just have a PPD and call it a day? Why go through the process of getting the marriage certificate and going to the courthouse if all of that doesn't make them feel married and all that bullshit.

Oh, maybe it's because the legal paperwork is what actually makes you married? WHY IS THIS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!

climbingsingle

Ugh. 

I actually know a girl that had a secret private ceremony on a Friday, and then the fake re-do on Saturday. Only her family knew. And the reason she did this? She wanted to take all of her pictures before the ceremony and she felt it wasn't right for her H to see in her dress if they weren't already married. Oooookay. 

BouxRadley

For all of the necessary and legal reasons for a marriage (and also all of the legal benefits) we will be getting "married" now. But it's totally not a real marriage because there wasn't a party with drunk groomsman, angry mothers, and cake smashing, so it CAN'T be real. 

"The only reason we are getting married earlier is to benefit our stay in a foreign country with the same last name."

Gag me with a fucking spoon.

lauracollin2015

Just to really blow your mind about how many people find this totally acceptable behavior on Weddit:

http://www.reddit.com/r/weddingplanning/comments/35pke1/for_all_the_posts_about_being_legally_married/

Liatris2010

ellemillz said:

Just to really blow your mind about how many people find this totally acceptable behavior on Weddit:

http://www.reddit.com/r/weddingplanning/comments/35pke1/for_all_the_posts_about_being_legally_married/

Well, if it is the ritual that families and friends crave, thre is no harm in being very upfront that the "bride" and "groom" were legally married before the "wedding" that they are invited to.

Lying about it makes it clear you know that what you are doing is deceptive and not 100% okay. If it were, you wouldn't have to hide, mislead, and outright lie.

sassercake12

Just to really blow your mind about how many people find this totally acceptable behavior on Weddit:

http://www.reddit.com/r/weddingplanning/comments/35pke1/for_all_the_posts_about_being_legally_married/

This comment killed me. I am dead.

"I just immigrated and we had to get married quick. Will it make my wedding in August any less of a wedding? No. You know why? Because I don't care what little miss bully on internet message board says."

So disagreeing with someone and pointing out that what they're doing might offend others is bullying now? 'Kay.

thisismynickname2

" the legal marriage is a technicality, a relatively new institution that exists to bequeath benefits and legal rights."

Someone please tell me what college this person went to, because I'm fairly certain that marriages have been more legal arrangements than anything since the dawn of time. Like how, you know, women couldn't legally do jack shit without a husband. 

sassercake12

thisismynickname said:

" the legal marriage is a technicality, a relatively new institution that exists to bequeath benefits and legal rights."

Someone please tell me what college this person went to, because I'm fairly certain that marriages have been more legal arrangements than anything since the dawn of time. Like how, you know, women couldn't legally do jack shit without a husband. 

Yuuuup. Women used to be exchanged as property, and weddings were pretty much business transactions. The idea of marrying for love is what's relatively recent. These people have it completely backwards.

littlepep

thisismynickname said:

" the legal marriage is a technicality, a relatively new institution that exists to bequeath benefits and legal rights."

Someone please tell me what college this person went to, because I'm fairly certain that marriages have been more legal arrangements than anything since the dawn of time. Like how, you know, women couldn't legally do jack shit without a husband. 

Ooh so that means that it's not ruining the sanctity of marriage for same-sex couples to get married right? Because that's just the legal parts with benefits. And it doesn't even matter. 

afox007

thisismynickname said:

" the legal marriage is a technicality, a relatively new institution that exists to bequeath benefits and legal rights."

Someone please tell me what college this person went to, because I'm fairly certain that marriages have been more legal arrangements than anything since the dawn of time. Like how, you know, women couldn't legally do jack shit without a husband. 

Ooh so that means that it's not ruining the sanctity of marriage for same-sex couples to get married right? Because that's just the legal parts with benefits. And it doesn't even matter. 

Yes, but ojust as long as they only do the paper work. If they get the big party then the sanctity of marriage is ruined. Marriage is about the party. 

ashley8918

Ugh, GROSS.

And hey, welcome!