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My Bridal Party is Overwhelming Me!

[Deleted User][Deleted User] member
5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
edited May 2015 in Wedding Party
I am a bride planning a wedding from a long distance; I'm also a super laid back person.  My wedding is important to me, but I also realize it is one day and I really don't feel the need to overly plan or get caught up in details.   We having a traditional church wedding and sit-down dinner at a very nice venue.  I

All I really want my bridal party to do is show up at the wedding.  I have given them the option of getting ready with me, and the option of riding with us from my parent's house.   I told them to pick whatever hair style they wanted, whatever shoes they like because I trust their opinion.  I told them they're welcome to do whatever they want in terms of transportation and accommodations for after the wedding.  I did not do a hotel block because everyone involved in the wedding is local.   They are now texting, calling and emailing me nonstop about what to do in terms of after the reception plans.   I honestly want to say that you're on your own.  I'm not reserving rooms or providing transportation after the wedding.


The whole thing is stressing me out.  

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Re: My Bridal Party is Overwhelming Me!

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    southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Try not to take it personally. Obviously they're not saying you're a "lazy bride". People (including BMs) will ask all kinds of questions. Espeically in the last couple months. Breathe and just answer them:

    - "No, we didn't do a hotel block." (A room block is not necessary.)
    - "I don't have a timeline set in stone yet."
    - "No, we aren't providing transportation." 
    - "If y'all want to match, go ahead and decide among yourselves. I don't care what shoes or jewelry you wear."

    Boom. Done. Don't let it stress you out.
    *********************************************************************************

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knottie29408529 said:

    I am a bride planning a wedding from a long distance; I'm also a super laid back person.  My wedding is important to me, but I also realize it is one day and I really don't feel the need to overly plan or get caught up in details.   We having a traditional church wedding and sit-down dinner at a very nice venue.  I


    All I really want my bridal party to do is show up at the wedding.  I have given them the option of getting ready with me, and the option of riding with us from my parent's house.   I told them to pick whatever hair style they wanted, whatever shoes they like because I trust their opinion.  I told them they're welcome to do whatever they want in terms of transportation and accommodations for after the wedding.  I did not do a hotel block because everyone involved in the wedding is local.   They are now texting, calling and emailing me nonstop about what to do in terms of after the reception plans.   I honestly want to say that you're on your own.  I'm not reserving rooms or providing transportation after the wedding.


    The whole thing is stressing me out.  

    Edit for length 
    Text/call/email them back with a TMI answer.  "You guys go ahead and do whatever you want to do.  I plan to go home/to the hotel/whatever and have sex with my HUSBAND.  Several times, thank you."  Freak them out so they shut up already.
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Maybe you just need to be straight with them: "Guys, I've been telling you that after the reception, your time is your own.  I meant it.  We are not planning anything.  I'm really looking forward to seeing you at the wedding, but I need all these calls, texts, and emails to stop.  Please be assured that if there's anything else wedding-related that we need to discuss with you, we will."
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    That's for the suggestions!  One of my bridesmaid told me I was wrong because I didn't block hotel rooms.  We do not have the demand.  No one has asked about hotels until today. 
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Knottie29408529 said:

    That's for the suggestions!  One of my bridesmaid told me I was wrong because I didn't block hotel rooms.  We do not have the demand.  No one has asked about hotels until today. 

    Tell your bridesmaid the bolded.
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    LondonLisaLondonLisa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knottie29408529 said:

    That's for the suggestions!  One of my bridesmaid told me I was wrong because I didn't block hotel rooms.  We do not have the demand.  No one has asked about hotels until today. 

    Tell her she can find the link to the hotel block here: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=Hotels+in+Manhattan

    (Hypothetically put your wedding in NYC as I have no idea where you are based)
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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    "Hey guys, when I asked you to be in my bridal party I assumed that you were all adults and could figure this shit out for yourselves.  I suggest you start doing that.  KTHNXBAI!"

    But seriously, this shit does get annoying.  I had VIPs calling me on the DAY OF my wedding asking me where my reception venue was. . . um, the address was listed on the reception insert.  Use your fucking iPhone to pull up a GPS and don't call the fucking bride again with shit that you, as an adult, should be able to handle.

    I got a number of those phone calls on my wedding day. . . I stopped taking calls except if it was from a vendor.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    novella1186novella1186 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I totally get the annoyance. H's best man would not leave me alone with the dumb questions (seriously, why was he bothering ME and not my H?!) 

    At one point, honest to god, he called and asked me which hotel his reservation was at. Um... how the hell should I know? He then asked me the address of the hotel. Yeah it's called Google. The day of the RD, he texted me 4 times to ask for the address of the RD. We had already sent it to him twice and -- again-- it's called Google. It drove me fucking nuts. I just started handing my phone over to H every time I saw that his best man was bugging me YET AGAIN. 

    But I also got tons of questions from my BMs too. "Is my SO invited to the RD?" Um yes of course he is. Duh. "Do I have to pay for my dinner at the RD?" No, of course not, we're hosting that, duh. "Can I ride with you to the RD?" Yes of course you can. I mean it was a fucking lot of questions. 

    Just take a deep breath. Answer the questions. If everyone wants to know the same shit, maybe send a group email or something so you only have to answer once. If the groomsmen are asking you stuff, hand that off to your FI. And then enjoy a glass of wine. 
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    novella1186 said:

    I totally get the annoyance. H's best man would not leave me alone with the dumb questions (seriously, why was he bothering ME and not my H?!) 


    At one point, honest to god, he called and asked me which hotel his reservation was at. Um... how the hell should I know? He then asked me the address of the hotel. Yeah it's called Google. The day of the RD, he texted me 4 times to ask for the address of the RD. We had already sent it to him twice and -- again-- it's called Google. It drove me fucking nuts. I just started handing my phone over to H every time I saw that his best man was bugging me YET AGAIN. 

    But I also got tons of questions from my BMs too. "Is my SO invited to the RD?" Um yes of course he is. Duh. "Do I have to pay for my dinner at the RD?" No, of course not, we're hosting that, duh. "Can I ride with you to the RD?" Yes of course you can. I mean it was a fucking lot of questions. 

    Just take a deep breath. Answer the questions. If everyone wants to know the same shit, maybe send a group email or something so you only have to answer once. If the groomsmen are asking you stuff, hand that off to your FI. And then enjoy a glass of wine. 
    Did you ever tell the BM to stop with all the questions?
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    novella1186novella1186 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Jen4948 said:

    novella1186 said:

    I totally get the annoyance. H's best man would not leave me alone with the dumb questions (seriously, why was he bothering ME and not my H?!) 


    At one point, honest to god, he called and asked me which hotel his reservation was at. Um... how the hell should I know? He then asked me the address of the hotel. Yeah it's called Google. The day of the RD, he texted me 4 times to ask for the address of the RD. We had already sent it to him twice and -- again-- it's called Google. It drove me fucking nuts. I just started handing my phone over to H every time I saw that his best man was bugging me YET AGAIN. 

    But I also got tons of questions from my BMs too. "Is my SO invited to the RD?" Um yes of course he is. Duh. "Do I have to pay for my dinner at the RD?" No, of course not, we're hosting that, duh. "Can I ride with you to the RD?" Yes of course you can. I mean it was a fucking lot of questions. 

    Just take a deep breath. Answer the questions. If everyone wants to know the same shit, maybe send a group email or something so you only have to answer once. If the groomsmen are asking you stuff, hand that off to your FI. And then enjoy a glass of wine. 
    Did you ever tell the BM to stop with all the questions?
    H called him and told him "If you have any questions, just contact me. No need to bug Novella." Dude still texted me instead of H. He's a jackass. 
    image
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    novella1186 said:

    Jen4948 said:

    novella1186 said:

    I totally get the annoyance. H's best man would not leave me alone with the dumb questions (seriously, why was he bothering ME and not my H?!) 


    At one point, honest to god, he called and asked me which hotel his reservation was at. Um... how the hell should I know? He then asked me the address of the hotel. Yeah it's called Google. The day of the RD, he texted me 4 times to ask for the address of the RD. We had already sent it to him twice and -- again-- it's called Google. It drove me fucking nuts. I just started handing my phone over to H every time I saw that his best man was bugging me YET AGAIN. 

    But I also got tons of questions from my BMs too. "Is my SO invited to the RD?" Um yes of course he is. Duh. "Do I have to pay for my dinner at the RD?" No, of course not, we're hosting that, duh. "Can I ride with you to the RD?" Yes of course you can. I mean it was a fucking lot of questions. 

    Just take a deep breath. Answer the questions. If everyone wants to know the same shit, maybe send a group email or something so you only have to answer once. If the groomsmen are asking you stuff, hand that off to your FI. And then enjoy a glass of wine. 
    Did you ever tell the BM to stop with all the questions?
    H called him and told him "If you have any questions, just contact me. No need to bug Novella." Dude still texted me instead of H. He's a jackass. 
    Yeah, I would be annoyed too.
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