Don't snark about my ring!

Knottie04590913

First off, yay for brides with non-traditional rings! I knew right off the bat that I would want a morganite/rose gold ring. I told my fiance that and just left it to him to pick the ring. He did an amazing job picking something that was beautiful and didn't blow his budget. I'm just waiting for the mean comments to come now. Haha. I think the first unusual comment I received was on the day that we got engaged. My FI's best friends's girlfriend of 1 month, told me she thought my FI would get me something with a daintier band because my promise ring was so dainty. I thought that was a bit weird, but I just shrugged it off. Second comment was from my best friend who is also engaged. She said my ring reminded her of sailormoon??? I don't know how to reply to that! Third comment from some coworkers who said that the stone is so big...again, not sure what to say to that. People are weird.

fyrchk

Dear OP, I'm sorry people are shitty about your ring. I give you my mantra: People are assholes.

My ring is a black diamond with a rhodium plated band. It was FI's idea and when I saw one, I fell in love. I've had people make some crappy comments like, "What is THAT?" and "Couldn't afford a REAL diamond, eh?" With those people I usually just shoot them my "F you die burning" look and move on. The people who actually know me tell me how "me" it is.

Just remember...people are assholes.

thisismynickname2

I'm with a PP who said, "If the future queen of England can wear sapphire, so can I!"

The only person who has snarked on my ring was my sister, before I even got it. When I told her we were going to get engaged and I wanted a sapphire ring, she said, "Are you sure you can live with that for the rest of your life?" No, "Congrats!" or anything like that, just snarking on my choice for sapphire!

Honestly, I have never seen an ugly engagement ring. I don't think they exist. Nothing is too small / too big / too old if the wearer is happy. 

kaitlynmichelle

thisismynickname said:

I'm with a PP who said, "If the future queen of England can wear sapphire, so can I!"

The only person who has snarked on my ring was my sister, before I even got it. When I told her we were going to get engaged and I wanted a sapphire ring, she said, "Are you sure you can live with that for the rest of your life?" No, "Congrats!" or anything like that, just snarking on my choice for sapphire!

Honestly, I have never seen an ugly engagement ring. I don't think they exist. Nothing is too small / too big / too old if the wearer is happy. 

I had great pleasure watching the look on the face of the jewellery store employee when I said that. And I still stand by it. I get compliments on my ring a lot, and many comments that they've never seen anything quite like it.

[Deleted User]

I'm really glad my generation is getting over the yellow gold = 80s, cheap, dated, etc. mindset, because it's really silly. Different people have different skin tones/undertones, and that (and their personal taste) should dictate what kind of metal they choose for something they're going to wear the rest of their lives, not this bizarre silver/white gold/platinum is the ONLY fashionable, modern choice mindset.

thisismynickname2

kaitlynmichelle said:

I'm with a PP who said, "If the future queen of England can wear sapphire, so can I!"

The only person who has snarked on my ring was my sister, before I even got it. When I told her we were going to get engaged and I wanted a sapphire ring, she said, "Are you sure you can live with that for the rest of your life?" No, "Congrats!" or anything like that, just snarking on my choice for sapphire!

Honestly, I have never seen an ugly engagement ring. I don't think they exist. Nothing is too small / too big / too old if the wearer is happy. 

I had great pleasure watching the look on the face of the jewellery store employee when I said that. And I still stand by it. I get compliments on my ring a lot, and many comments that they've never seen anything quite like it.

To the bolded- LOL! Our jeweler didn't even bat an eye. We walked in and he said, "Engagement ring! So let's look at diamonds!" I replied, "Actually, I really want a sapphire." He replied, "Let's look at sapphires!" It was really nice actually; he told us all about sapphires and while diamonds have the 4Cs, for sapphires it's all about color, etc. 

lovesclimbing

thisismynickname said:

kaitlynmichelle said:

I'm with a PP who said, "If the future queen of England can wear sapphire, so can I!"

The only person who has snarked on my ring was my sister, before I even got it. When I told her we were going to get engaged and I wanted a sapphire ring, she said, "Are you sure you can live with that for the rest of your life?" No, "Congrats!" or anything like that, just snarking on my choice for sapphire!

Honestly, I have never seen an ugly engagement ring. I don't think they exist. Nothing is too small / too big / too old if the wearer is happy. 

I had great pleasure watching the look on the face of the jewellery store employee when I said that. And I still stand by it. I get compliments on my ring a lot, and many comments that they've never seen anything quite like it.

To the bolded- LOL! Our jeweler didn't even bat an eye. We walked in and he said, "Engagement ring! So let's look at diamonds!" I replied, "Actually, I really want a sapphire." He replied, "Let's look at sapphires!" It was really nice actually; he told us all about sapphires and while diamonds have the 4Cs, for sapphires it's all about color, etc. 

-------------preemptive box-----------------

As well he should!
He's working on commission. A smart jeweler would talk to you about and be positive and upbeat about whatever you want.

JediElizabeth

I'm not usually one to preach to others, but this same issue has made me a real bitch about it. After getting my beautiful sapphire ring - exactly the one I wanted, because FI enlisted the help of my best friend in picking it out - I've had a few people ask how I can live with not having a diamond. Gross.

The best tactic I've found is to start talking about blood diamonds from Africa, and how hard it is to find one we know was ethically sourced, and how I couldn't live with myself if I was wearing something that came from that kind of trade. (I also make a point to only buy fake/vegan leather, and I don't wear fur.) The more obnoxious they are, the more I'll go into the horrors of the industry. It's 100% true, and the initial reason I wanted a sapphire, so I figure if someone's going to bring it up, I may as well educate them, whether they like it or not.

kaitlanmw

So, I realize that "resurrecting" a dead thread is poor form, but since this is still on the first page of the board I'm hoping it's not TOO much of a sin,

I have an emerald engagement ring surrounded with white sapphires.  It's gorgeous, totally my style, I love it.  The only snark I've encountered was when I stopped by the store it was bought at to ask about getting it cleaned, my sister noticed my ring in a display, and apparently decided it was pretty cheap for an engagement ring (I don't think it's an "official" engagement ring, whatever THAT means).  Uh, good!  We have two kids and are saving for a house, he better not be spending thousands upon thousands of dollars!

On the flip side, TWO different bridal magazines I picked up recently were singing the praises of colored stones and non-traditional rings, so maybe the MUST BE SILVER COLORED WITH A DIAMOND frenzy will be fading soon?

Pupatella

I've had a couple weird comments made about my ring too.  I find it's either by people who 

a) are not engaged / married themselves

b) are very superficial / high maintenance

c) are not my friend

I am shocked that so many of us have received negative / hurtful comments about our rings. My ring is pretty traditional (I chose it), but I didn't want something very blingy.  I'm simple, and wanted a simple ring.  My FI got me exactly what I wanted and I couldn't be happier!!

On a side note, someone actually scoffed at the ring my FI recently chose for his wedding ring. One of my coworkers is planning his wedding, and we were at a work function, and my coworker asked my FI about the wedding ring he chose.  My FI told him, and then my coworker said "Ugh. I can't believe you didn't go with a platinum band. That is the best metal". My FI was like WTF. Now I give this guy a cold shoulder at the office.

Knottie23552807

My fiancé had me choose my engagement ring. I chose a small and affordable one because I think it's ridiculous to have a ring that's more than what you can really afford. We both want a house, not debt. To add to that, I'm clumsy, The first week I scratched my face with it 3 times, and snagged my blanket and a couple of sweaters. I've seen other married women and most of them don't even wear their engagement rings, probably because they've snagged one too many sweaters. Unlike you though, nobody has given me bad comments about how small my diamond ring is. Probably because I'm not surrounded by jealous/mean spirited people. Which leads me to my point... People who say things like that are just jealous and most of all materialistic. And not worth your time. What's important is that your fiancé wants to be with you. A ring is a ring. In fact you should read this article: http://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/the-history-of-engagement-rings/
The history of the engagement ring was not that great.
Also keep in mind, if these people measure a person's love through the type or size of ring, then YOU should feel sorry for them.
My fiancé told me about one of his co-workers who gave his now wife a 7k diamond ring... But he's cheated on her multiple times.
Someone once told me that it's good to have a big diamond ring because it's insurance for if the marriage doesn't work. That's a really sad thought.
I think that your heirloom engagement ring is more precious wthan any expensive diamond ring.

Knottie1438188755

We're not doing an engagement ring -- in fact, we're eloping, not telling anyone, so I'm not even calling him my fiance haha, even though we've done planning, taken the time off work already and put a deposit on the venue.

I'm the breadwinner and really, I'm not opposed to a gorgeous ring but I do have issues with making my boyfriend save the amount of money it would cost and stress about it while also wanting to contribute financially to our itty bitty wedding and then to our household. No. I just refuse to do it. If I find myself incredibly lovesick for an engagement ring between now and December I'll just buy it myself and anyone who doesn't like it can, well. You know. haha.

We're buying a set of simple, gold hammered bands off Etsy instead. Mine is very thin and delicate and his is thicker. I love them, and he loves them because he's EXTREMELY sentimental and wanted our wedding bands to match. It's still going to cost us about $800, but that's still a far cry from an engagement ring plus wedding bands. And we're eloping anyway and keeping it relatively secret - my wearing an engagement ring would kind of defeat the purpose. In all honesty it's become kind of FUN doing this together secretly.

When he first brought up eloping my immediate thought was to use an heirloom ring - like you, I think it's SUCH a beautiful statement. To be trusted with that must be such an honor. And a pre-1910 inscription? *swoon* To be brutally honest I'm more jealous of your heirloom than bling!

I'm surprised in your field the women aren't appreciating the beauty of this. I'm a designer and I think it's so magical and lovely for you to have that.

But, I was engaged before and again my fiance made less than I did, and I was obsessed with uncut diamonds at the time so I had a rough, uncut diamond off Etsy that he bought for less than $200, and I got some snark once at work. A young girl was around and my coworker had just heard the story of my ring and thought it was cool and told the young girl "OMG! Isn't this neat? It's a completely rough unpolished diamond!"

The young girl was like "Oh. Hmm. That's...unique." And walked off. *rolleyes* Whatevz!

I totally snarked back in my head because while my musician fiance at the time was relatively poor, his band had just been signed and he had a pretty big radio hit. So in my head at the time I was like "OK whatever. Call me next time your boyfriend's on the radio or being nominated for one of the big local music awards, witch!"

So bad, but it did make me feel better at the time. lol.

SandD080616

My engagement ring is a solid gold band worn on my right hand. My fiancé is Brazilian and in Brazil, tradition is for both the bride and groom to get a solid gold band when they get engaged. It's worn on the right hand until you get married. Then transferred to the left hand. We reversed the traditions, so when we get married I'll get something more similar to an American style engagement ring as my wedding ring. Except that I don't want a diamond. I haven't decided if I want a solitaire sapphire or a sapphire eternity band.

I haven't really gotten any snark about my engagement ring, except for "It looks like a wedding band."