Seating capacity - using some bistros vs. seated tables?

MaggieF1990

Hi all! I'm new to The Knot, but would love some outside perspective on something I've heard from multiple vendors and friends who have gotten married recently but is making me (and my mom) a bit nervous. They've mentioned not offering seating for 100% of the guests, but rather seating for about 80% and then bistro tables for the rest since not everyone will be sitting the entire time, or at the same time.

I have a large family so right now we are looking at a total invite list of about 280, and a little over 200 of those who we think will come (I think the "think they'll come" count is at 202 right now). We are recently engaged so just started looking at venues, and our favorite so far is two levels and I believe the max seating (round tables) for the bottom level is 250, but that is super packed with no dance floor. My contact there has told me they could probably do a dance floor with seating for 170 then 10 bistro tables for about 40-50. We are planning on heavy appetizers, not a plated dinner or even a full buffet dinner.

We could also offer overflow seating upstairs; the levels are stacked openly (hard to explain?) so you can still hear everything from the top level, and guests could probably peek over and see a bit of the dance floor but that's about it. I am fine with offering this but I feel like everyone will want to be downstairs for the dance and cake portion so I hate to force anyone upstairs.

Most have told me in our case of heavy appetizers, it's nothing to worry about to not offer 100% seating, but I would love some outside perspective. My cousin got married a couple years ago and told me she did 70-80% seating, and I never would have noticed, which made me feel better. I know someone who recently got married expecting 375 guests and offered seating for 300, then standing bistros for 50 and was told by their venue and planner that would be plenty. Thoughts?

MyNameIsNot

MaggieF1990 said:

Hi all! I'm new to The Knot, but would love some outside perspective on something I've heard from multiple vendors and friends who have gotten married recently but is making me (and my mom) a bit nervous. They've mentioned not offering seating for 100% of the guests, but rather seating for about 80% and then bistro tables for the rest since not everyone will be sitting the entire time, or at the same time.

I have a large family so right now we are looking at a total invite list of about 280, and a little over 200 of those who we think will come (I think the "think they'll come" count is at 202 right now). We are recently engaged so just started looking at venues, and our favorite so far is two levels and I believe the max seating (round tables) for the bottom level is 250, but that is super packed with no dance floor. My contact there has told me they could probably do a dance floor with seating for 170 then 10 bistro tables for about 40-50. We are planning on heavy appetizers, not a plated dinner or even a full buffet dinner.

We could also offer overflow seating upstairs; the levels are stacked openly (hard to explain?) so you can still hear everything from the top level, and guests could probably peek over and see a bit of the dance floor but that's about it. I am fine with offering this but I feel like everyone will want to be downstairs for the dance and cake portion so I hate to force anyone upstairs.

Most have told me in our case of heavy appetizers, it's nothing to worry about to not offer 100% seating, but I would love some outside perspective. My cousin got married a couple years ago and told me she did 70-80% seating, and I never would have noticed, which made me feel better. I know someone who recently got married expecting 375 guests and offered seating for 300, then standing bistros for 50 and was told by their venue and planner that would be plenty. Thoughts?

It's really rude not to offer seating for everyone. You probably didn't notice at your cousin's wedding because the people who couldn't get seats left or congregated somewhere else. 

Doing some bistro seating is fine, but if you really want it to be for people to mingle, it's better to do it in addition to seating for everyone at regular tables. People use their table as a "home base" and a place to put their plate/jacket/bag. If you have some bistro tables that don't "belong" to anyone, people will come and go at those tables. If they are the only seats people have, the people who sit there will stay there all night.

With the venue, you really need to pick a place that has proper space for everyone on your guest list. It is possible that all 280 people on your list show up, or that 270 of them do. You need to be prepared for that to happen. If you want to use the venue you are talking about, you'd need to cut your guest list down to 170. If you can't cut the guest list, you need to keep looking for a bigger venue. 

aliwis000

Welcome! Your instincts are proving to be pushing you in a good direction.

Since you said you are new a few general rules are repeated here time and again. Some that apply to your post are ask follows:

1. A seat for EVERY booty throughout the whole event. People use their table as a home base for their personal items. Will they mingle? Yes, of course. But everyone wants to sit down at times. Plus guests with disabilities or those who have back/knee/joint or other problems you may or may not be aware of. Everyone needs a spot to sit throughout the whole event so no moving tables after meal time.

2. Plan for 100% attendance. Too many times we see brides on this site come here after their RSVPs are in crying about how they have no room. Until those RSVP come back you do not know how many people you will have. So if you are inviting 280, find a place that can hold 280. If you can only find a place to hold 250 then only invite 250. I know this is really hard. I also come from a large family where 500+ people are invited to weddings, my parents had about 550. However, we could not afford to host that many people while having the wedding we wanted. So we made hard choices. This is where adulthood sucks.

3. Meal at meal time. You do not mention what time the ceremony is. Heavy apps are perfectly fine as long as your event does not occur during meal time. If you do overlap with a meal time you need to serve a proper meal. This does not have to mean a 5 course fancy dinner. Many posters on this site will tell you heavy apps can be expensive and offering instead one standard meal could be cheaper.

4. Venues do not have your guests comfort at heart. Your potential venue is trying to book you and get money. The reality is that your group of 280 does not seem to fit there.

Congratulations and welcome again! The ladies on this site are great and really do aim to provide honest feedback so your guests are taken care of and you have a wonderful day!

southernbelle0915

I went to a wedding like this and everyone was pissed, confused and uncomfortable. People left early and still talk about it as the worst wedding they've ever been to.

You can still have a bunch of bistro tables if people WANT to stand but every single guest should have a seat if they want to sit down.

And if you dont do assigned seating, you should actually have MORE seats (about 10-15%) than people because they will leave space between themselves and they won't fill tables.

ShesSoCold

PPs have addressed this well. I'd like to add what H and I did for our wedding.

We have a VERY heavy appetizer style wedding with more than enough food to constitute a meal. It was basically a buffet with more apps-style options. We also included more filling options like pastas, prime rib, veggies and potatoes. If done correctly, a heavy app wedding at a meal time can work. But it's not easy and generally way more expensive. We paid significantly more than we would have for a typical plated or buffet meal.

Also, even though it was cocktail and "mingling" style, there was at least one point during the reception where every single person was seated and eating. I insisted that we have regular height tables and chairs for every person, in addition to the bar height tables.

Please have enough real seats for everyone and don't shove anyone into another room or floor - have the same type of tables for everyone. And please be very careful with how you plan to feed that many people. You need to make sure people aren't waiting an hour for their food or stalking wait staff. 

Maggie0829

scribe95 said:

I honestly don't understand what is so hard about the concept of making sure everyone has a chair. If you have a dinner party at your house are you going to make people stand up to eat?

Because... WEDDING VISION!!!

southernbelle0915

scribe95 said:

I honestly don't understand what is so hard about the concept of making sure everyone has a chair. If you have a dinner party at your house are you going to make people stand up to eat?

Unfortunately, I think this is a sneaky venue trying to profit off a huge wedding that they couldn't otherwise accommodate. They're trying to convince the bride that "oh it's fine! we do this all the time!" Because what does the venue care if her wedding is a disaster - they still make their money!