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Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

Post wedding thoughts

Ok All your brides...I need some help.

So our wonderful wedding was 11/10/2012 and I can't stop thinking about it and all the things that didn't happen the way I wanted it to.

is this normal?
Everything was truly beautiful and perfect, but all i can think about is how certain things were not as i wanted them. And the ONE thing that gets me the most is that I am afraid that our photographers didnt get all the pictures I wanted.

help...cause I feel like im going crazy.

S

Re: Post wedding thoughts

  • I'm gonna spare you a knee-jerk "What matters is you're married, end of story" because it'll likely get said to you eventually anyway, so it's not a card I need to pull. I want to try to give some perspective, but not be dismissive of what you specifically brought up either.
    It sounds like you put a lot into this and I get that certain personality types have a hard time letting it go when things don't work out EXACTLY as planned. But FWIW, if everything was beautiful, I really think your guests were fine during your reception, and that is most important.
    If this is a money thing, well, I get wanting the best value for what you spent on vendors. If you provided a list and they didn't get the shots, ask why. There might be a legit reason. Maybe you didn't give them enough time. If you find they genuinely slipped up, see if you can get some compensation- prints, extra retouching, a do-over (similar to a day after shot) if it's just couples shots and your H is up for it (if they were REALLY important shots), whatever. If they recognize that was a goof up, I think they'd work with you. If they don't acknowledge it, you gotta ask yourself whether it's worth the headache of fighting over.
    Just let this sit for a little longer. It was probably a big, overwhelming day with a lot of emotion and it takes time to clear your head. I don't know what your individual circumstances were or personality is. Everyone handles it differently. Some brides are on the Cloud 9 for several weeks, some drop into a funk. If your H is feeling a little more content with how things went, I would definitely turn to him for an objective look at things as well.
    Good luck, and enjoy married life.
  • In Response to Post wedding thoughts:
    Ok All your brides...I need some help. So our wonderful wedding was 11/10/2012 and I can't stop thinking about it and all the things that didn't happen the way I wanted it to. is this normal? Everything was truly beautiful and perfect, but all i can think about is how certain things were not as i wanted them. And the ONE thing that gets me the most is that I am afraid that our photographers didnt get all the pictures I wanted. help...cause I feel like im going crazy. S
    Posted by semonna7

    I felt the same exact way! It gets better as time passes. I was married in July, and it's much better now. The one thing that I would suggest is that you put your mind on something else. I had to learn that there was no point in me regretting that stuff, because it won't change anything. I just have to move on with my life. If it makes you feel any better, I have NO wedding photos, because we still haven't paid off our debt to the photographer. It's a long story, but if I dwell on it, it really makes me upset. I just have to trust that God knows the desires of my heart, and everything is in His hands.

  • Thank you so much. I am currently in RN school and am just feeling overwhelmed. I am SO happy to be married. My husband is incredible. And because life has been so busy with school I feel like I haven't been able to really enjoy the wedding and us, so thats adding to why I feel like I do.
    Thanks for all the great advise and comments. It really helped more than you know!
    Kiss
  • I'm a bit in the same boat, wedding day twin :)  We've already gotten our pics back and I KNOW we didn't get some of the shots we wanted, myself being a photographer the pictures are very important to me, we didn't get hardly any close ups, and they were on my list.  I don't know if the officiant wanted the photographer to keep a space buffer (as far as we were concerned she had free range and thought I had explained that to her) but a lot of the shots look so far away, I'm a little bummed.  But, you get what you pay for and we got her for a steal so I really can't complain too much. There's just a handful of shots I would have done differently.  I wish we could have had a longer reception, ours was rushed and there was almost no dancing, so many people didn't show up, we got very few gifts, stuff goes over and over in your head. I know what you're going through exactly ;)  I'm just starting a new job so thankfully that's kicking the post-wedding funk out of the ring but I do feel like while it was a beautiful wonderful amazing day, there are things I wish I could have done different, but can't now, so I have to just get over it ;)  I totally agree with the PP about after planning so long, not planning is kinda a bummer, I feel like I have nothing to do but housework and that's not fun so I'm procrastinating, but we'll be planning a romantic weekend in a few months so that'll be something fun to look forward to :) Good luck with school! :D
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  • vikinggirl4vikinggirl4
    10 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    member
    edited November 2012
    I agree! (And also am a 10-11-12 bride!) We had a legit snowstorm on our wedding day, still got some outside pictures, but 80% of my dad's family missed it because they couldn't travel on the roads (freezing rain & snow combined ar enever good!) And I am aware of a whole bunch of things that I would have rathered go better, but it really is no use in dwelling on any of it. I'm just disappointed that I came back to work and was told (albeit jokingly) by my boss that I wasn't allowed to get pregnant until the TWO other girls in the office (funnily enough, my cubicle neaighbours) come back from mat leave ... late next year. So there goes that planning/online shopping. Luckly, Christmas is right around the corner, so I can be busy with that!
  • I was married on 9/29 and felt similarly for a few weeks afterward.  No matter how much planning, thinking, and preparing you do anything can occur on that day.  I thought I was prepared for whatever happened, and for the most part I was, but things still didn't "go as planned" and I felt sad about that.  I realized moments I missed or that were interfered with and all I could think was "I'll never get that back".  BUT, I took comfort in knowing that none of our loved ones or guests (except for my Mom and Dad) knew about those mistakes and that regardless of the hiccups we were literally kicking people out at the end of the night.  Plus, once I saw the pictures (all of them) the magnitutde of the day really hit me.  I think that when we are in those moments and going through that experience it is very difficult to truly appreciate what it all means.  Looking at those pictures had me in the tears that I didn't have that day becuase I could finally stop, think, and feel.  Even if your photographer missed some shots, I promise you that he/she will have gotten ones that are meaningful, special, and worthy of being cherished.  We had a HUGE shot list in regards to family pictures and while I'll never regret getting them they don't hold the place in my heart that the candids do because they are posed and look forced.  It's natural, normal, and needs to become accepted that coming down from the "wedding high" will bring those negative thoughts and allowing yourself to think them and feel the subsequent emotions is part of the process.  I really hope you get the photos you want and even more that you'll love...and congrats!! Smile
  • In Response to Re: Post wedding thoughts:
    Here's one other thought on photography:  we didn't get all the pictures that we might have wanted, but we got a lot of awesome pictures I never could have anticipated or asked for.  Try not to worry too much about it until you actually get the pictures back.  Once you do, you can address any issues then in the way that positivek suggested above. And yes, it's totally normal to feel a bit bummed about it once the wedding excitement is over.  It will pass, and other things will come up that you'll get excited about.  It helps to throw yourself in to a new project or goal or something else to plan.  After planning something for some long, it can feel kind of boring to not plan anymore.
    Posted by kwitherington
    Agreed!
  • You know what, we didn't get all of the pictures we had wanted either...  We did have so many things that didn't turn our right, like my Parent's table, they didn't get their dinner served, my Mom had to ask...  Also, one of the tables didn't have cloth napkins, supposedly they didn't have enough I could go on and on..  BUT it turned out amazinig...  We had an awesome time and I was so upset afterward when I found out about these things, but like people have said, you can't change anything!  Its over and done with and you are now married to your love and thats the whole point!  :)  Try not to dwell on it and just remember the GOOD stuff!  I don't think anyone has things go Perfect, there are always gonna be some sort of mishap.  I dwelled on my pictures for a while, since we didnt get any of our centerpieces or any of the things I spend so much time doing I was bummed...  BUT its over and done.  You're married.  Just enjoy it!!! ;)  congratulations!!!
  • I keep thinking about the pictures too.  I just decided to go with the flow the day of the wedding and not really direct the photographer and let him do his job but now I wonder all the the time if he got all the pics and if there are enough pics of me and dh.  

    I just did a post wedding "rock the dress" shot with dh and did a lot of pics I didn't get to do on the wedding day so I feel better but I know dh didn't get as many pics of himself as I would have liked.
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