NWR: Ending a Discussion

LakeR2014

Question/Opinion:  When you're having a heated discussion with someone over email on the interpretation of events and/or feelings - if the other person's last heated response ended with "it's nothing on you, so can we please move on?"  how would you interpret that?


To me it's a bit disrespectful or condescending, but wanted to see what others thought?  

bethsmiles

I would avoid having heated conversations over e-mail for this exact reason. There's too much room for interpretation.

If it were me, I'd move on.

beachyone15

I wouldn't take it as disrespectful or condescending. I would take it as them trying to get a point across that's not happening and it sounds like they are getting frustrated and just want to drop it. I'd move on.

OliveOilsMom

LakeR2014 said:

Question/Opinion:  When you're having a heated discussion with someone over email on the interpretation of events and/or feelings - if the other person's last heated response ended with "it's nothing on you, so can we please move on?"  how would you interpret that?


To me it's a bit disrespectful or condescending, but wanted to see what others thought?

BOX ISSUES It really depends on what the topic is. If its something insignificant that has probably been blown out of proportion. I would do my best to just move on, so that I can continue my friendship with the other person. If its a really significant issue in your mind and you cannot move on.  I would probably respond back with an "I'm sorry but I can't move on with this so easily."  Then either keep the conversation going, again depending on the topic.  Or just ignore the issue with this person for the time being and come back to it later to see if I feel any differently about it.  Evaluate if I want to continue the friendship, etc.

banana468

I would probably move on - but I'd avoid having that over email in the first place. 

ETA - when I feel like a professional email exchange is getting tense, I pick up the phone.   Tone over text can be a pain in the ass to interpret.

littlemushroom

I don't see what is disrespectful or condescending about that. I take it to mean they are ready to stop the discussion because it is going nowhere or they feel like you two will never agree, but that they aren't holding any negative feelings towards or about you over the situation. Since they aren't holding anything against you, there is no point to the "heated discussion" any longer and it is time to let it go and stop beating a dead horse.

If the topic is serious and you can't let it go at this point or the issue will affect your friendship on your side, then it is time to take the discussion off of email and do it in person so no one misunderstands anything.

novella1186

littlemushroom said:

I don't see what is disrespectful or condescending about that. I take it to mean they are ready to stop the discussion because it is going nowhere or they feel like you two will never agree, but that they aren't holding any negative feelings towards or about you over the situation. Since they aren't holding anything against you, there is no point to the "heated discussion" any longer and it is time to let it go and stop beating a dead horse. If the topic is serious and you can't let it go at this point or the issue will affect your friendship on your side, then it is time to take the discussion off of email and do it in person so no one misunderstands anything.

This. 

Regardless of your next course of action, it sounds like you need to step away for a little while to calm down, and look at it again when you're not so tense about it. 

If it were me, I would just ignore it and move on. I don't respond to heated/shitty emails. Nothing good can come of it, and it's way too easy to misinterpret text. 

Unless you're dealing with someone like my sister, who sends hateful emails to purposely incite a fight, so if she doesn't get a response then it gets even worse. When she sent me a shitty email in which she called me a terrible person (among other things) I just said, "I'm so sorry that you're upset with me." and left it at that. Fighting via email or text message is a lose-lose situation. Sounds like the person you're dealing with wants to avoid a fight, though. 

STARMOON44

I think if you view that as disrespectful you're looking for drama.