40-Plus Brides

Procrastinating Soon to be Mother In Law

Let me start by saying that I absolutely love my fiance's mother and most of his family for that matter.  I need some advice to put some fire under his mom's butt though.  lol.  My fiance and I live in California; his mother and father live in Missouri.  She has several people she wants invitations sent to but she still hasn't given me addresses.  Also, her grandson who lives with her is going to be our ring bearer, but she hasn't gotten him or her husband fitted for their tuxes yet.  We were told in order to get the discount they had to have their tuxes fitted by June 16th...they live 2 hours away from any Mens Wearhouse and we told her about it on May 16th.  I'm worried if she's already procrastinated with the addresses that the tuxes won't get done either.  She's having a hard time getting her husband to agree to get fitted.  He's very stubborn and is 75% deaf, so he really doesn't want to go to the wedding, when he knows he won't be able to hear anything. 

Does anyone have any advice for me?

Re: Procrastinating Soon to be Mother In Law

  • tj&cwtj&cw
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    Do they live near another tuxedo company? They might be willing to do the measurements for them so they don't have to drive. My FI's father is calling asking for the group rental number so he can go get measured....we are in CA and they are in Fla.

    As for the addresses, tell her that if you dont have the them by a certain date then you will not be able to send them out because there will not be time for the RSVP's to get to you in time. 

    Good Luck
     
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  • Let me start by saying that I absolutely love my fiance's mother and most of his family for that matter.  I need some advice to put some fire under his mom's butt though.  lol.  My fiance and I live in California; his mother and father live in Missouri.  She has several people she wants invitations sent to but she still hasn't given me addresses.  Also, her grandson who lives with her is going to be our ring bearer, but she hasn't gotten him or her husband fitted for their tuxes yet.  We were told in order to get the discount they had to have their tuxes fitted by June 16th...they live 2 hours away from any Mens Wearhouse and we told her about it on May 16th.  I'm worried if she's already procrastinated with the addresses that the tuxes won't get done either.  She's having a hard time getting her husband to agree to get fitted.  He's very stubborn and is 75% deaf, so he really doesn't want to go to the wedding, when he knows he won't be able to hear anything. 

    Does anyone have any advice for me?
    1.  How old is the ring bearer grandson?  If he is under 16, he should not be wearing a tuxedo at all.  Tuxedos are for adult men to be worn after 6:00PM.
    2.  Why does your FFIL need to be fitted for a tuxedo?  He is not part of the wedding party.  A dark suit would be more appropriate.
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    MesmrEwe
  • maryemoomaryemoo Fort Wayne, Indiana
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    tj&cw said:
    Do they live near another tuxedo company? They might be willing to do the measurements for them so they don't have to drive. My FI's father is calling asking for the group rental number so he can go get measured....we are in CA and they are in Fla.

    As for the addresses, tell her that if you dont have the them by a certain date then you will not be able to send them out because there will not be time for the RSVP's to get to you in time. Ditto this. We had trouble getting addresses from my MIL. My husband did exactly this; told her if we didn't get addresses, they didn't get invites. Now I will say this, if you know how to contact the people, you ARE capable of calling/emailing and requesting their address themselves.

    Good Luck
     

  • maryemoomaryemoo Fort Wayne, Indiana
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    CMGragain said:
    Let me start by saying that I absolutely love my fiance's mother and most of his family for that matter.  I need some advice to put some fire under his mom's butt though.  lol.  My fiance and I live in California; his mother and father live in Missouri.  She has several people she wants invitations sent to but she still hasn't given me addresses.  Also, her grandson who lives with her is going to be our ring bearer, but she hasn't gotten him or her husband fitted for their tuxes yet.  We were told in order to get the discount they had to have their tuxes fitted by June 16th...they live 2 hours away from any Mens Wearhouse and we told her about it on May 16th.  I'm worried if she's already procrastinated with the addresses that the tuxes won't get done either.  She's having a hard time getting her husband to agree to get fitted.  He's very stubborn and is 75% deaf, so he really doesn't want to go to the wedding, when he knows he won't be able to hear anything. 

    Does anyone have any advice for me?
    1.  How old is the ring bearer grandson?  If he is under 16, he should not be wearing a tuxedo at all.  Tuxedos are for adult men to be worn after 6:00PM.
    2.  Why does your FFIL need to be fitted for a tuxedo?  He is not part of the wedding party.  A dark suit would be more appropriate. ALSO Ditto this. I have two stepsons who were in my wedding. They are 4 and 5. If it's a younger boy, he will be much more comfortable NOT being in a tux, but if you are wanting him to look dressier, they DO make toddler/childrens suits. Check Macy's/Von Maur/Nordstroms.

  • I'm with the PP about FIL getting fitted for a tux - is it REALLY necessary?!?!?  And asking them to go to a store two hours away and pay gas to get there, along with the value of HIS time, is going to null any "discount" anyway, he's just as well to go the week of the event when he gets out to CA to get his fitting done.  Chances are that's why he isn't seeing any value which is independent of any hearing loss (that's what Bell Tones are for!).  The "discount" you're speaking of is likely your FI getting his rental free or only a VERY small percentage off for everyone, and not a real world discount.  Your FI can either pay to rent his suit himself or go suit shopping at a place in your budget for something that's nice.  We figured ours out and it'd been cheaper for everyone to go to Kohl's or JC Penny or Sears for a simple suit.

    As for the relative who is the ring bearer - just purchase a suit!  Then if they get something on it, you won't be out the deposit and cost of the suit.  There are tons of youth suits out there for less than $50-100.  I've had the best luck with JCP, Sears, and silly as it sounds, Walmart for DS.  My nephew got his First Communion suit at a local Christian store for less than $100 and he's a husky kid. 


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  • I agree with the one PP who suggested going to a local tux shop and just having the measurements done & then forwarding those to men's warehouse. Depending on the age of the ring bearer, maybe consider just some black pants, a white button down shirt a bow tie, and some regular black shoes from walmart or payless. It will be a lot less expensive and he'll be more comfortable but still look cute. If he's more comfortable, he'll be happier & a happier child tends to behave and cooperate more too. As for FIL, if he doesn't go for measurements, nothing you can do. As like a PP, for the addresses, just let MIL know that if you don't have the addresses but a certain date, you won't be able to send out invites to her guests. Make the deadline a few days earlier then you actually need to provide a cushion. Maybe your IL are the type of people that just wait until the last minute to do everything.
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