Hindsight is always 20/20

JazzieL

Hi All!!

I wanted to get advice from those that have already had ther wedding! What got me thinking about the topic for this thread was another thread titled, "What was a waste?" After reading through mutiple post talking about how no one signed guest books or over splurged on centerpieces that no one mentioned, etc. it made me curious what feedback DID you get from your guests, (positive & negative)?! What did your guest mention after the wedding? What did you wish you splurged more on? What was worth the time & effort of that DIY project? What do you which you made more time for? 

Thanks!

FutureMrsMDJahnke

Most of the compliments that I got were on the beauty of the venue, my dress, and the food. I wouldn't say that anything else was a waste of money, though. I wasn't going to get a guestbook, but my fil said there would be older people who would just really like to put their name down somewhere, so I got a fairly cheap one. Not everyone signed it, but oh well. We didn't do big floral centerpieces, which I do not regret.

AddieCake

We got a lot of compliments on our venue (see waterfall below) and our music. We hired a string trio, and the music was a mix of classical and modern pop. The guests were amazed at the modern songs that could be done by strings alone! 

 I also got a ton of compliments on my "theme," which was river rocks. It wasn't so much the theme that people liked, it was what I did with them. We used them in our centerpieces and had guests sign them or write well wishes  instead of a guest book and we keep them in a vase in our home. Our escort cards were also on river rocks, and then our favors were chocolate rocks that look like rocks but taste like M&Ms. People thought the guest book and escort cards were out of the ordinary and interesting. 

MoonlightSilver

No one let me know ahead of the wedding, but apparently everyone was really nervous about our venue (an Aquarium). My family wasn't sure how it was going to turn out. So a lot of the night and even the weeks/months after I was getting compliments on the venue and how everything was pulled off nicely. 

The saying is "no one cares about your wedding as much as you do." So make sure you're guests are comfortable (having enough chairs, good food, open bar, etc) and then after that, make decisions based upon what you like and want, not what you think your guests will remember. Most people just remember if the food was good, the music was good, and the drinks were good. 

Weezy56

what feedback DID you get from your guests, (positive & negative)?! 
We didn't get any negative feedback about this from our guests, but there was one thing we didn't particularly like that we would have changed. Due to a mishap with one of our guests (a little too much to drink mixed with a very steep staircase), the staff did not clean up the "mess" on the floor in what we thought was a timely fashion. Of course, our guests safety came first and we did not want her moving until after it was determind that she did not have a neck injury, back injury, etc. But after she left the building, we noticed my husbands grandmother cleaning up the mess and my husband was not happy about that. However, all it took was him saying a quick word to one of the staff members and they were on it like white on rice. And all was well after that : )

What did your guest mention after the wedding?
The food and the music would be number 1. Our DJ was AWESOME. He played all of our songs we picked out in advance and even took some requests on the spot which was nice. All of the speeches are still talked about. Both of my maid of honors speeches and my dad's speeches were very touching. A groomsmen got pretty silly with his speech and it was hilarious. We also got a lot of compliments on our ceremony, which we wrote with our Reverend. He was a very good speaker. 

What did you wish you splurged more on?
Nothing

What was worth the time & effort of that DIY project?
The only thing that we really "worked" on was the playlist and the seating chart. Both were definitley worth it. We had a mixture of music to appeal to everyone, regardless of musical taste or age group. Everyone seemed to be happy with their seats as well.

What do you which you made more time for?
I wish we would have had more time for hair and make up. One of our hair/make up ladies did not do my moms hair like she did during the trial run, so she had to start over.  I didn't find out till later that she did not do my one of my maid of honors make up the way she wanted it done (I guess because she ran behind schedule). I feel bad about that. Everyone looked beautiful regardless though.


One thing I will say in general, is to soak the whole day in. Realize that things will not go perfectly so you just have to go with the flow. The whole day flew by in what felt like a blink of an eye and I wish I could go back and re-live it all one more time.

[Deleted User]

what feedback DID you get from your guests, (positive & negative)? I didn't get anything but positive, but who really would have told me anything else...lol

What did your guest mention after the wedding? How beautiful it was and how much fun they had. The dance floor at my reception was full all night long. We still have about 30 or so out of the 115 guests still there at the end of the night dancing.

What did you wish you splurged more on? Nothing, I think I budgeted well and stuck to my budget. This way I had no regrets about over spending or starting married life in the hole.

What was worth the time & effort of that DIY project? Invitations. Saved a lot of money and kept them simple which saved a lot on postage too.

What do you which you made more time for? To write my toast at the wedding. Groom didn't want to say anything so left it up to me. I figured I can wing thing, wrong, I started crying. I'm sure a lot had to do with the fact I had been extremely sick for two weeks prior to the wedding, having to deal with damage to our home from Hurrican Sandy two days before our wedding. Basically I had my bridal meltdown at my reception.

One thing I'm happy about? Keep things simple which limited stress. Being organized & following the time frame recommended by theknot really came in handy & I was able to do everything with very little assistance & little stress.

mattycam

What feedback DID you get from your guests, (positive & negative)/
What did your guest mention after the wedding?
The number one thing that people will always remember is the food. Yes we got compliments on my dress, the venue, the atmosphere etc. but FOOD is definately most important and we had a lot of it and it tasted very good.
 
What did you wish you splurged more on?
Nothing...weddings are expensive enough

What was worth the time & effort of that DIY project?
I didn't have any DIY projects because I am not a crafty/creative person. However if I was, I would have probably done our invitations.

What do you wish you made more time for?
Taking photos. The day goes so fast and to avoid further delay things have to get rushed.

JazzieL

Thanks!! I wanted to pose the questions because I keep finding myself getting hung up in the details..my major one right now is the tables and centerpieces - I'm not one to figure out linnens and dishes, and decorating a round table - I'm used to doing long banquet tables... 

I am a DIYer and have a storage unit full of furniture that I fixed up to use for a lounge area and that is my one splurge... other than that looks like we've focused on the 2 major areas that you've all menioned venue & food! We really wanted amazing fun food so we're having our favorite - BBQ and I insisted on ribs (my sister is making me an apron so I can wear while eating , haha) - and our venue is amazing!  

I will take note on the photos and make sure there is enough time. We don't have a wedding party but want to make sure we get pics with everyone - our guest list is at 250 (yikes!) - because of this we decided to hire 2 photographers for our event and they'll be there for about 8-9 hours to make sure we take as many pics before the wedding, during, etc.  I was worried about this decision because it's a huge expense but after your comments I'm glad we decided to go this route. 

Thanks again for the comments thus far & keep 'em coming!!!

jcg23

Haven't had my wedding either so I am glad I stumbled upon this! So thank you Jazzie for starting this thread! I now have a better idea of what to focus on and I had already planned on DIY'ing the invites. And probably some other things. I am DIY'ing my flowers we are doing fake ones. And I LOVE the rock idea! I already purchased a guest book though. And I am going to do a beach theme, although it won't be on a beach lol. But I am choosing colors and centerpieces and perhaps lights to create the atmosphere.
 
Anyways I also learned not to use a friendor (friend to be your vendor) from a different thread definitely don't do it! I WAS going to have the dj at my work be a dj at my wedding but he has already shown how unreliable he is by not even showing up to fix my computer not only that he didn't even send me a text or call to explain why and he was given 3 chances to do it! And each time never responded. So I am soooo glad I learned this beforehand. Definitely don't do that! Also don't procrastinate that is also something I learned from another thread. But that should be pretty obvious.

 Also another thing I read is to keep up on your gift registry because if you registered a year or even 6 months in advanced the items you selected may not be available anymore and may force your guest(s) to choose from a few things if they are last minute shoppers. Leaving you with 5 toasters and 3 punch bowls. But also putting gift card options on there may help just in case this were to happen. So at least if you get several gift cards to target you know you will use them.

Cackle6

What feedback DID you get from your guests, (positive & negative)?

We got the most compliments on our venue and our band at the reception. I also got up and sang a few songs (I sing in a band as well) and a lot of my friends and family hadn't heard me sing before, so there was a lot of talk about that.  I didn't hear anything negative, but then again, who gives the bride negative feedback at her wedding? The only thing I can think of that we did that was possibly a "faux pas" was we had the head table on the dance floor and then had moved. But we had two big getting ready rooms for all the wedding party to keep their stuff in, and there were plenty of extra chairs so I don't think anyone had any issues with that.

 What did your guest mention after the wedding? 

I still have people tell me how awesome they thought the band was. I also got a lot of compliments about our ceremony. We had a secular ceremony that included a "toast to love" which is basically a cocktail unity ceremony, and I had a lot of people tell me how neat they thought that was. I think the best compliments we got were the ones where people said "the wedding was just so "you guys." I worked hard on adding personal touches, so I'm glad that people noticed.

What did you wish you splurged more on? 

I wish we had splurged and gone with the photographer I had lusted after for a few years prior to the wedding. Don't get me wrong, my photographer was great and we had a lot of fun with her, and the pics are great, but anytime I look at the other photographer's blog, I can't help but think "that could have been my wedding on her page." But if we had done that, we probably couldn't have gotten the band, and hands down I would have rather had the band because they were freaking awesome.

What was worth the time & effort of that DIY project? 

I got a TON of comments on my DIY invitations. They were pretty unique, and while they were a pain in the butt, they were worth it in the end. They probably would have been $10 or more an invite had I had the professionaly designed, and I did them for around $3 an invite. Also, I know a lot of people say no one notices the centerpieces, but I got a lot of compliments on mine! I saved a lot of money by DIY-ing them. We also got a lot of comments on how pretty the ceremony set up was. I had a LOT of help though. I did as much as I could in advance from Philly, and all the while my mom and dad were working on stuff in MN. And before everyone pounces on me for making my family help, my mom just kept asking for stuff for her and my dad to help with. Had they not wanted to help, I would have just done more simple DIY projects and been just fine with that. So be sure that you can finish all your projects without help, unless people genuinely offer to help.

What do you which you made more time for? 

I wish I had gotten a chance to finish the handmade gifts for all my BM's and my parents. I did end up finishing and giving them afterwards, but it would have been nice to give them on the day of the wedding. I also wish we had gotten a chance to take dance lessons for our first dance. Our first dance song would have been perfect for a waltz, but we just never got around to taking the lessons I got on Groupon.

Ditto the PP who said to soak it all in - it really does go by so fast! Although everyone and their mother told me that, and really nothing can prepare you for how much of a whirlwind day it is!

Jager1219

Cacke6 - what was your first dance song?  I'm looking for a waltz!

ZeroOrchestra

What did your guest mention after the wedding? We got a ton of compliments on our second line, the food, the venue, my hair, and just the overall feel of the wedding. Two older couples said it was the most romantic laid back wedding they had ever been to. A few different people also thanked us for seating them with soandso and said their tables had a blast. We put a lot if thought into the table assignments and who would get along well so I was happy to hear it worked out. The only person who complained about anything was MIL because H didn't want to do a dance with her, but that's between them. What did you wish you splurged more on? I'm happy with how it all turned out, though if I had to redo it I would have ordered our second line hankies rather then DIYing them. What was worth the time effort of that DIY project? I DIY'd the escort cards and holders as well as the favors, little jars of Cajun cooking spices and they were all worth the effort put in. What do you which you made more time for? There are a few pics that didn't get take but other than that, we really enjoyed everything, I don't think I would change it if I could.

Cackle6

Jager - we danced to I Just Knew by Better Than Ezra. Our first date was to a BTE concert, so it had special meaning for us.

JazzieL

Thank you all! Love it! @Cackle6. Do you have pictures of ur invites and centerpieces to share? @jcg23 by nature I'm a planner so got that one and. Last of the others u listed but the gift registry was one I hadn't heard of before! That's a new one... LEARNING SO MUCH!!!! Keep them coming please

jcg23

That's good you're a planner! Just figured I'd add it in there for good measure. haha. But I read it in a comment on here from someone. They mentioned it in an article on here on gift registries. In the article it says it should be the first thing you do, but in reality it is a good thing to get an idea of what stuff you guys want in the beginning and a bit later put items in it but yeah definitely update every few months. Even if you do wait a while to start it. Glad I learned that one. It's not something you think of either but things do discontinue. If I find anything else though I will definitely let ya know!

Cackle6

Jazzie - there are pics of my invite mock ups on my planning site - link in my signature. The only thing I ended up doing differently was instead of using the LOVE stamp for the sqaures that held the band together, I printed on the colored paper and used silver embossing powder so the lines were much cleaner.

And for some reason I can't post pics right now, so here is a link to the post I put on DIY ages ago of most of my finished projects. The CP's area about halfway down in that post. http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_diy_diy-projects-from-my-wedding-day-lots-of-pip

vexie

People generally won't pay much attention to all the tiny details you've put into the day....but they always remember two things:  the Food and the overall Mood! (was the day fun, relaxed and full of love).   That's where we spent out time, money and attention.   We made sure the food was amazing (got married in an old church that's been converted into a fine dining restaurant), and that we put a lot of special details into the day that truly reflected us and our love for each other. Those cost very little but are still the things 1 1/2 years later that people remember and rant about.  If you don't have money to burn you can forget the uplighting, the favours, the monogramed napkins, labelled water bottles, flipflops etc etc because after the fact most people will have forgotten about them too

kipnus

We got lots of compliments on our colours (orange and green), the food (delicious and vegan!), my multiple outfits (a custom-made wedding dress, a sari from my in-laws, and a fun, short dancing dress), and our photos (awesome photographers!).

I wouldn't have wanted to spend more money on anything. I was happy that we came in just under our budget. 

I didn't do any crazy DIY projects. I just did a few simple things and left out a lot of "extras," like favours, complicated invitations, centrepieces, aisle runner, etc. I think our timing worked out pretty well. 

negirls009

http://www.lucybridaldress.com/mori-lee-2013-spring_c248

Yes, it is great!

Sierra524

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_hindsight-is-always-2020?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:b3e395d8-b72c-42f1-9f8b-2e4989c88c5cPost:d9aad453-af0a-4e9d-a0b0-314cd82022a3">Re: Hindsight is always 20/20</a>:
[QUOTE]We got a lot of compliments on our venue (see waterfall below) and our music. We hired a string trio, and the music was a mix of classical and modern pop. The guests were amazed at the modern songs that could be done by strings alone!   I also got a ton of compliments on my "theme," which was river rocks. It wasn't so much the theme that people liked, it was what I did with them. We used them in our centerpieces and had guests sign them or write well wishes  instead of a guest book and we keep them in a vase in our home. Our escort cards were also on river rocks, and then our favors were chocolate rocks that look like rocks but taste like M&Ms. People thought the guest book and escort cards were out of the ordinary and interesting. 
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

Where did you get the rocks for the guest book idea? And what kind of marker did you have people sign them with...just a thin sharpie?