woulda coulda shoulda

megandjay

Did anyone else obsess with 'woulda coulda shoulda' stuff post wedding? It is 3am, and I can't sleep. Everyone said it was a great time and so fun. I can't stop obsessing about things that I should have done (more photos with guests, dress fitting issues, things that were missed by the coordinator like our photo sharing cards, etc). I need to let it go, maybe I just don't want to let the wedding go? Ugh.

[Deleted User]

Yup, I had the problem off and on throughout the planning. I had so many sleepless nights. It is hard to understand until you actually go through it.

Can you  take some Tylenol PM or something so you can get some rest? I know I am not fun to live with if I haven't had sleep.

Hang in there girl. As long as you are organized and plan well, things will be just fine on your wedding day.

skippylouwho

MissySue - I love your ticker!!!!   GO BUCKS!!    ooohh and I have Marshall tickets - better than no tickets at all!!! 

dptatro

Dear Bay State sister,

YES!  It's hard not to consider what could have been.  I got married here in NM a week before your wedding, and in the days that followed, I had flashbacks to things that would've made the reception better.  And sadness from everyone leaving town immediately afterwards following an exhilarating weekend with family and friends.  This must be why people go on honeymoons right after their weddings.  My husband and I didn't plan one, and couldn't take much time off from work.  But a long weekend getaway did the trick.  I got some sleep, stopped obsessing about the wedding, and enjoyed our new beginning together.  If you haven't already, take some time with your new husband and get out of town!   

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_would-coulda-shoulda?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:b5f1668b-4422-460d-8f68-2262434dcc51Post:c50275bb-7530-4b58-afe5-0edaf4255bd1">Re: woulda coulda shoulda</a>:
[QUOTE]MissySue - I love your ticker!!!!   GO BUCKS!!    ooohh and I have Marshall tickets - better than no tickets at all!!! 
Posted by skippylouwho[/QUOTE]

Thanks! I wish we were home bc H Grandma works for the university and has all the home game tickets. She usually lets us go to a game or two, but we won't likely be home during football season, so it kinda bums me out. Oh well, always next year.

Oh yeah, and I totally realized you are already married. Guess I was half asleep this morning when I first posted. Oops

JD807

oh yeah, it's very easy to obsess over little things. My wedding was in 2007 and with my 3 year anniversary on the 11th, and 'say yes to the dress' reruns on tv...it's making me wedding reminicscent.

There was a long time where i obsessed over things...all the DIY programs i did that no one bothered to take...the way the DJ acted...the photos that weren't done...but it was a note from an ex-friend that caused me to really take a step back. Basically she and i were best friends in high school...after college started, she moved away from our sleepy town and i stayed to go to a local college, and it was very apparent that she thought herself better then our hometown. Even my mother saw it, which was something. Long story short, i didn't have enough money to fund inviting everyone i had ever talked to ever...and i fell out of contact with her long before the wedding. I decided not to pursue inviting her since i couldn't get a response. After the wedding, she ripped into me...called me selfish, told me i couldn't look past anything...said i was self-centered...and it took that slap in the face to realize that i needed to stop second guessing my wedding and focus instead on the life ahead of me.

Take some time with your new DH...go on a long weekend like a PP suggested...think about things OTHER then the wedding. Start planning your first thanksgiving together...start planning Christmas...just think about your life together rather then the what-ifs

twilight.rose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_would-coulda-shoulda?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:b5f1668b-4422-460d-8f68-2262434dcc51Post:bd46de05-6193-4783-b8ab-9421d4615abc">Re: woulda coulda shoulda</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: woulda coulda shoulda : Thanks! I wish we were home bc H Grandma works for the university and has all the home game tickets. She usually lets us go to a game or two, but we won't likely be home during football season, so it kinda bums me out. Oh well, always next year. Oh yeah, and I totally realized you are already married. Guess I was half asleep this morning when I first posted. Oops
Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]
That's sad...I'll have extra fun for you at the 'Shoe this year!

stinkerbell6879

Yep! I am FINALLY letting it go! I think it kinda hurt my DH feelings a couple of times because I think they take it that "Wasn't enough that we walked away married?" So that kinda help snap me out of it. So I agree go take sometime with your DH and enjoy married life

brianabrad

For those who have already been married can you be a little more specific on the "woulda coulda shoulda". What types of things happened at the wedding that keep you up nights? What photos didn't you get that you wanted? I am hoping to keep myself from having those moments post-wedding.

TIA!!

MsFlicka

Yep

I wish I would have worn my veil just a little different - it was too far back and doesn't show up in a lot of the pictures.

I wish I hadn't been so nervous that I literally ran into my parents bathroom the minute I arrived at our reception (it was at our house) and puked.  LOL...DH and I spent about half of our cocktail hour sitting on the edge of their tub eating crackers and drinking gingerale, and missed most of our picture taking time.  We still got some good portraits, and TONS of pictures of all the action (our photog was an excellent photojournalism style photog and I know she got a ton of great pictures of the two of us), but still...no pictures out in the garden

I just keep reminding myself of all the GOOD things...our first dance was amazing, I loved my dress, everyone had a BLAST (the dancing and the party went until 2am, 3 hours longer than we expected), our friends and family still waited outside the church in the drizzle to throw birdseed at us after the ceremony.

And the more I think about it, the more I realize that the half hour spent eating crackers and drinking gingerale with my DH and laughing about my stomach butterflies is going to way more special than pictures we would posed in my parents gardens (even though I still miss those pictures...just a little).  Married life is full of unexpected foibles, not perfection...I guess this was just us learning that right off the bat!

tigerlily1980

Sounds to me like the wedding industry is making you regret things that just won't matter years from now. Treasure all your good memories from your special day, and enjoy spending the rest of your life with your husband!

beamer84

I don't have any "woulda coulda shoulda" thoughts. There's one pic we didn't get to (his hand and mine on the bouquet), but, hey, I see his hands and mine everyday anyway.

Kindsay

I felt the same way... Shoulda, coulda, woulda!!

I slept like a baby the few nights following the wedding, but it was around 4 days later that the tossing and turning started.

We planned for an outdoor ceremony and it was raining....when the wedding coordinator called to talk about a plan B, I told her plan B was to go with plan A! I was trying to be optimistic, but in the end, it rained. Everyone had umbrellas  and honestly I had all the sunshine I needed once I saw my mans face!! I didn't have a plan B with pictures and I totally regret it. We missed a few pictures because of the chaos with the rain and that keeps playing over my head. My suggestion would be to make sure your photographer brings a list of must have photos and sticks to the list when things go crazy.

Our DJ played the wrong version of our first dance and only half way through did I realize it. I was in such a lala happy land, I hadn't noticed. It makes me a little upset that he didn't give us a heads up that he wasn't able to get the right version. I would have felt better if I had known ahead of time.

I had a lot of "Oh well" moments... I think the rain did that to me. My bussel broke 3 times.... It was reinforced and all and still broke.

I missed pictures with friends, our professional pictures came out great, but there are soo many pictures that my husband and I are not even looking at our photographers camera, we are looking a friends or family members camera.

I swore I would eat and although I made my way to the foodstations and got food... I was pulled away after only a few bites. No cake either... dammit! Never even saw the dessert station... no pictures of it either.

In the end it flew by in a nanosecond and although I wish I remembered more of the details of the night, Everyone had a good time and  I married my best friend and those are the two most important things for me.

RMacQueen

GO BUCKS! My MOH got me Penn State Tix for the second part of my bachelorette party. I live in Colorado now and miss my Buckeyes.