Attire and Accessories

Day time wedding questions about formality.

DarthV8rDarthV8r
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edited June 2015 in Attire and Accessories
Our venue is at a marina and is an upscale place. Our wedding is at 11:30 am. What is appropriate attire and formality for this type of event? For the groomsmen, bridesmaids, bride and groom what colors will work?

I am gravitating towards a modern style wedding with rose gold, champagne and grey or silver as colors. The venue has grey chairs and white table cloths for the reception and the ceremony will take place outside in a garden.

Re: Day time wedding questions about formality.

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
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    Don't worry about matching your wedding colors to chairs or white tablecloths.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    DarthV8r
  • A dark suit is always appropriate for the men.
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    DarthV8r
  • Ok. Thank you everyone. I appreciate it.
  • I think your underlying question is whether the guys can wear tuxes. Traditionally, tuxes are evening wear only (after 6pm). A nice suit would be a good fit for your event.

    Even though it's "wrong", I don't personally side-eye tuxes at a late afternoon/early evening wedding (like 4 or 5pm), because the reception is usually in the evening. But I would side-eye it for an 11:30am wedding. And by side-eye, I wouldn't be offended... I just mean I'd think "bless their hearts, they just don't know any better", KWIM?
    *********************************************************************************

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    DarthV8r
  • I think your underlying question is whether the guys can wear tuxes. Traditionally, tuxes are evening wear only (after 6pm). A nice suit would be a good fit for your event.


    Even though it's "wrong", I don't personally side-eye tuxes at a late afternoon/early evening wedding (like 4 or 5pm), because the reception is usually in the evening. But I would side-eye it for an 11:30am wedding. And by side-eye, I wouldn't be offended... I just mean I'd think "bless their hearts, they just don't know any better", KWIM?
    Yes I know what you mean. I was not thinking of a tuxedo though. I was making sure know one would side eye a dark suit and metallics for a morning wedding. But um I guess maybe it's not that important.

  • Suits for the men. If you are unsure about colors, if you already have GM picked out, ask them what color suits they may already own. If they all by chance own a navy suit, make that one of your colors. If they all own black, then add a touch of color with a tie. The GM will appreciate it if they don't need to buy or rent a new suit. For the Bridesmaid, you can go with a traditional BM dress but maybe opt for a shorter style dress or if they or you want a longer dress, maybe pick a lighter fabric instead of a long satin dress.

    I like the idea of Rose Gold, but not sure how easy it may be to get decorations or dresses in that color.

    DarthV8r
  • For me I would never side eye a tuxedo regardless of the time of day.  We never say that the bride has to pick a less formal dress if the wedding is earlier in the day so why is it that a bride can wear a very formal gown (because lets face it, the typical wedding dress is very formal) but if a man wears a tuxedo before 6pm he is side eyed?


    Yeah I know there are "rules" but I just find this to be kind of silly. 
    I agree completely. This is a totally victimless crime.


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  • CMGragainCMGragain
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    edited June 2015
    For me I would never side eye a tuxedo regardless of the time of day.  We never say that the bride has to pick a less formal dress if the wedding is earlier in the day so why is it that a bride can wear a very formal gown (because lets face it, the typical wedding dress is very formal) but if a man wears a tuxedo before 6pm he is side eyed?

    Yeah I know there are "rules" but I just find this to be kind of silly. 
    Just to answer your question (and it is a good one!), the reason tuxedos are not allowed in the daytime is that they are for evening formal affairs only.  The etiquette correct formal daytime wear is a cutaway coat (tailcoat) worn with striped grey trousers and a vest and ascot tie.  Men look gorgeous in them, especially outside with a top hat.  This is really more formal than a tuxedo.  It should never be worn after 6:00 PM.

    image


    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    MobKaz
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana
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    edited June 2015
    My husband wore a cutaway at our afternoon wedding 32 years. I will say he looked quite handsome. Of course, I am probably a bit biased LOL!

    ETA:spelling
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
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    CMGragain said:
    For me I would never side eye a tuxedo regardless of the time of day.  We never say that the bride has to pick a less formal dress if the wedding is earlier in the day so why is it that a bride can wear a very formal gown (because lets face it, the typical wedding dress is very formal) but if a man wears a tuxedo before 6pm he is side eyed?

    Yeah I know there are "rules" but I just find this to be kind of silly. 
    Just to answer your question (and it is a good one!), the reason tuxedos are not allowed in the daytime is that they are for evening formal affairs only.  The etiquette correct formal daytime wear is a cutaway coat (tailcoat) worn with striped grey trousers and a vest and ascot tie.  Men look gorgeous in them, especially outside with a top hat.  This is really more formal than a tuxedo.  It should never be worn after 6:00 PM.

    image


    I know rules behind the whole "tuxedos after 6pm".  I have been on these boards long enough and read enough of your posts to know the "rules."  I just think it is crap that men can't wear a tux if they want to because it isn't 6pm, yet a woman can wear a freaking formal ass gown with a long train at 10am if they want.  A person should be able to wear what they want to their own wedding regardless of the time of day and not be ridiculed or side eyed by people with nothing better to do with their time.

    And I love my H to pieces and he would agree with me on this, but if he wore that outfit you posted, especially with the top hat, he would have looked ridiculous.  Just like not all men can pull off bow ties, not all men can pull off that outfit you posted.  I would much rather have my H wear a tux which he looks very daper in then an outfit that meets the time of day requirements and he look and feel uncomfortable.

    hellohkbkmmssgVulgarGirl[Deleted User]
  • CMGragainCMGragain
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    edited June 2015
    Like I always say, it is up to you whether or not you want to follow the rules, or to break them.  I do think it is important that you know what the rules ARE, so that you are making an informed decision.

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    Ridiculous?  I don't think so.  But, oh, look, HRH Prince William is wearing BOTH a pocket handkerchief and a bout!  Gasp!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
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    CMGragain said:
    Like I always say, it is up to you whether or not you want to follow the rules, or to break them.  I do think it is important that you know what the rules ARE, so that you are making an informed decision.

    And I said that I know the "rules."

  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana
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    CMGragain said:
    For me I would never side eye a tuxedo regardless of the time of day.  We never say that the bride has to pick a less formal dress if the wedding is earlier in the day so why is it that a bride can wear a very formal gown (because lets face it, the typical wedding dress is very formal) but if a man wears a tuxedo before 6pm he is side eyed?

    Yeah I know there are "rules" but I just find this to be kind of silly. 
    Just to answer your question (and it is a good one!), the reason tuxedos are not allowed in the daytime is that they are for evening formal affairs only.  The etiquette correct formal daytime wear is a cutaway coat (tailcoat) worn with striped grey trousers and a vest and ascot tie.  Men look gorgeous in them, especially outside with a top hat.  This is really more formal than a tuxedo.  It should never be worn after 6:00 PM.



    image


    I know rules behind the whole "tuxedos after 6pm".  I have been on these boards long enough and read enough of your posts to know the "rules."  I just think it is crap that men can't wear a tux if they want to because it isn't 6pm, yet a woman can wear a freaking formal ass gown with a long train at 10am if they want.  A person should be able to wear what they want to their own wedding regardless of the time of day and not be ridiculed or side eyed by people with nothing better to do with their time.

    And I love my H to pieces and he would agree with me on this, but if he wore that outfit you posted, especially with the top hat, he would have looked ridiculous.  Just like not all men can pull off bow ties, not all men can pull off that outfit you posted.  I would much rather have my H wear a tux which he looks very daper in then an outfit that meets the time of day requirements and he look and feel uncomfortable.

    As I said, my husband wore a cutaway (without the top hat) and looked very handsome and not at all ridiculous or uncomfortable. It is a matter of choice. I don't side eye tuxes in the afternoon. As a matter of fact my FSIL and his GMs are wearing tuxes for an afternoon wedding this fall. People just have different senses of taste.

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
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    CMGragain said:
    For me I would never side eye a tuxedo regardless of the time of day.  We never say that the bride has to pick a less formal dress if the wedding is earlier in the day so why is it that a bride can wear a very formal gown (because lets face it, the typical wedding dress is very formal) but if a man wears a tuxedo before 6pm he is side eyed?

    Yeah I know there are "rules" but I just find this to be kind of silly. 
    Just to answer your question (and it is a good one!), the reason tuxedos are not allowed in the daytime is that they are for evening formal affairs only.  The etiquette correct formal daytime wear is a cutaway coat (tailcoat) worn with striped grey trousers and a vest and ascot tie.  Men look gorgeous in them, especially outside with a top hat.  This is really more formal than a tuxedo.  It should never be worn after 6:00 PM.



    image


    I know rules behind the whole "tuxedos after 6pm".  I have been on these boards long enough and read enough of your posts to know the "rules."  I just think it is crap that men can't wear a tux if they want to because it isn't 6pm, yet a woman can wear a freaking formal ass gown with a long train at 10am if they want.  A person should be able to wear what they want to their own wedding regardless of the time of day and not be ridiculed or side eyed by people with nothing better to do with their time.

    And I love my H to pieces and he would agree with me on this, but if he wore that outfit you posted, especially with the top hat, he would have looked ridiculous.  Just like not all men can pull off bow ties, not all men can pull off that outfit you posted.  I would much rather have my H wear a tux which he looks very daper in then an outfit that meets the time of day requirements and he look and feel uncomfortable.

    As I said, my husband wore a cutaway (without the top hat) and looked very handsome and not at all ridiculous or uncomfortable. It is a matter of choice. I don't side eye tuxes in the afternoon. As a matter of fact my FSIL and his GMs are wearing tuxes for an afternoon wedding this fall. People just have different senses of taste.

    I never said that all men would look ridiculous.  Did I say that anywhere in my post?  No, I said that my H would look and feel ridiculous.  I also said that not all men could pull the look off.  But no where did I say that all men would look ridiculous.

    And I am glad you don't side eye tuxes before 6pm, but we all know one person on here who would be sticking their noses up at them.  And to judge someone on their personal attire is down right rude because, unless they are completely nude or wearing an offensive word or gesture, they are not hurting you or your comfort as a guest. 

    hellohkb[Deleted User]
  • CMGragainCMGragain
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    edited June 2015
    Who are you kidding?  We all judge people by their appearance and manners.  I get judged on The Knot all the time.  So do we all.  I get judged for being fat.  I get judges for being old.  I get judged for being smart.  (No, I don't know everything!  I am clueless about sports, modern popular music, and lots of other stuff!)
    Tuxedos slightly before six o'clock - no problem for me.  Tuxedos in the morning - well, I would just assume that the groom is ignorant of the rules.  That doesn't mean he is a bad person, though.
    Etiquette is wonderful!  It is a set of rules that let everyone be socially equal.  No secret rules.  These rules made it possible for me, a truck driver's daughter, to fit in with upper-class girls from old southern families in a private school.  (Scholarship, for me.)  I made mistakes, sure, and I still do.  But when I want to fit in, I check my etiquette guides.  Somewhere in my mind, Mrs. John R. Lynn is whispering that I had better get it right!  (School headmistress and southern social dragon.)

    PS.  Those girls were the most friendly, open, and non-judgmental people I have ever met.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    lachattefatale
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
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    edited June 2015
    CMGragain said:
    Who are you kidding?  We all judge people by their appearance and manners.  I get judged on The Knot all the time.  So do we all.  I get judged for being fat.  I get judges for being old.  I get judged for being smart.  (No, I don't know everything!  I am clueless about sports, modern popular music, and lots of other stuff!)
    Tuxedos slightly before six o'clock - no problem for me.  Tuxedos in the morning - well, I would just assume that the groom is ignorant of the rules.  That doesn't mean he is a bad person, though.
    Etiquette is wonderful!  It is a set of rules that let everyone be socially equal.  No secret rules.  These rules made it possible for me, a truck driver's daughter, to fit in with upper-class girls from old southern families in a private school.  (Scholarship, for me.)  I made mistakes, sure, and I still do.  But when I want to fit in, I check my etiquette guides.  Somewhere in my mind, Mrs. John R. Lynn is whispering that I had better get it right!  (School headmistress and southern social dragon.)

    PS.  Those girls were the most friendly, open, and non-judgmental people I have ever met.
    True story.
  • hyechica81hyechica81
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    edited June 2015
    my wedding was at 5pm the men all wore a tux no way were we even thinking about suit you cant rent them well maybe you can but its very hard to find suit rentals. i have been to day weddings where tuxs were worn and i see nothing wrong with it. it shows that everyone from the bride to the party is in formal wear.

    oh and we also did colored vests which many people say looks promish and childish but in no way did our men look at all like they were going to the prom 
  • this was me and the groomsmen on our wedding day aprox 630 this photo was taken 
    wp.jpg 73.2K
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
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    CMGragain said:
    Who are you kidding?  We all judge people by their appearance and manners.  I get judged on The Knot all the time.  So do we all.  I get judged for being fat.  I get judges for being old.  I get judged for being smart.  (No, I don't know everything!  I am clueless about sports, modern popular music, and lots of other stuff!)
    Tuxedos slightly before six o'clock - no problem for me.  Tuxedos in the morning - well, I would just assume that the groom is ignorant of the rules.  That doesn't mean he is a bad person, though.
    Etiquette is wonderful!  It is a set of rules that let everyone be socially equal.  No secret rules.  These rules made it possible for me, a truck driver's daughter, to fit in with upper-class girls from old southern families in a private school.  (Scholarship, for me.)  I made mistakes, sure, and I still do.  But when I want to fit in, I check my etiquette guides.  Somewhere in my mind, Mrs. John R. Lynn is whispering that I had better get it right!  (School headmistress and southern social dragon.)

    PS.  Those girls were the most friendly, open, and non-judgmental people I have ever met.
    Yeah, see I am talking primarily about wedding attire.  And on a daily basis I only judge people on what they wear when it is inappropriate for the setting.  Like if  someone wore a mini skirt and a crop top  to the office or if someone decides to go out with a fishnet top on and no bra.  But generally unless their is something truly offensive on their outfit then I kind of don't give a crap what people wear.  Their clothes do not affect my comfort level.

    And sorry but I don't find attire rules to be a part of etiquette.  Etiquette is about making sure that your guests are comfortable and happy.  Wearing a tux at 3pm is not against etiquette.  It may be against ridiculous fashion rules (which fashion rules are always meant to be broken because fashion is a personal thing), but it surely does not affect your guests comfort level.

    And sorry but people should be kind and like each other not because someone follows certain rules.  If uppity snobs want to look down their noses at people "below" them because OMG they would dare wear a tux before 6pm or wear a hat to a dinner party (I made that up, but just go with it) then they are the rude asses.  Good for you for getting in line with them but I am not going to change just to appease people who think they are better.  I will be polite and kind to anyone (which is what etiquette is to me) but if someone doesn't want to like me because I may wear white after labor day, well they can stuff it.

    redheadbride15
  • CMGragainCMGragain
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    edited June 2015
    CMGragain said:
    Who are you kidding?  We all judge people by their appearance and manners.  I get judged on The Knot all the time.  So do we all.  I get judged for being fat.  I get judges for being old.  I get judged for being smart.  (No, I don't know everything!  I am clueless about sports, modern popular music, and lots of other stuff!)
    Tuxedos slightly before six o'clock - no problem for me.  Tuxedos in the morning - well, I would just assume that the groom is ignorant of the rules.  That doesn't mean he is a bad person, though.
    Etiquette is wonderful!  It is a set of rules that let everyone be socially equal.  No secret rules.  These rules made it possible for me, a truck driver's daughter, to fit in with upper-class girls from old southern families in a private school.  (Scholarship, for me.)  I made mistakes, sure, and I still do.  But when I want to fit in, I check my etiquette guides.  Somewhere in my mind, Mrs. John R. Lynn is whispering that I had better get it right!  (School headmistress and southern social dragon.)

    PS.  Those girls were the most friendly, open, and non-judgmental people I have ever met.
    Yeah, see I am talking primarily about wedding attire.  And on a daily basis I only judge people on what they wear when it is inappropriate for the setting.  Like if  someone wore a mini skirt and a crop top  to the office or if someone decides to go out with a fishnet top on and no bra.  But generally unless their is something truly offensive on their outfit then I kind of don't give a crap what people wear.  Their clothes do not affect my comfort level.

    And sorry but I don't find attire rules to be a part of etiquette.  Etiquette is about making sure that your guests are comfortable and happy.  Wearing a tux at 3pm is not against etiquette.  It may be against ridiculous fashion rules (which fashion rules are always meant to be broken because fashion is a personal thing), but it surely does not affect your guests comfort level.

    And sorry but people should be kind and like each other not because someone follows certain rules.  If uppity snobs want to look down their noses at people "below" them because OMG they would dare wear a tux before 6pm or wear a hat to a dinner party (I made that up, but just go with it) then they are the rude asses.  Good for you for getting in line with them but I am not going to change just to appease people who think they are better.  I will be polite and kind to anyone (which is what etiquette is to me) but if someone doesn't want to like me because I may wear white after labor day, well they can stuff it.
    I am really laughing about the white after labor day!  Yes, a lot of these rules don't make any sense at all.  I do understand where you are coming from, and I think you get me, too.  Thanks for the giggle.

    PS.  The rule is not to wear white SHOES after Labor Day.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis
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    .
    When have you been judged here for being fat and smart? IMO, you've been judged for acting like a know-it-all, and giving one-sided, outdated advice. 
    ETA: and for assuming people with crazy hair colors and piercings are not intelligent, kind, functioning members of society. 
    Well we are not. We are SCARY. My hair and my piricings and my tattoos are scary. I am a scary person who probably has a prison record and is going to attack her and steal her purse and make her winged eye liner. 

    And all of my friends look exactly like me. And we all act exactly the same. And we are all rude and terrible people who treat other people like shit and judge them for not dressing just like us. Oh...wait...no that's not us....
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    FiancB
  • FiancBFiancB MinnesOOOta
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    CMGragain said:
    Who are you kidding?  We all judge people by their appearance and manners.  I get judged on The Knot all the time.  So do we all.  I get judged for being fat.  I get judges for being old.  I get judged for being smart.  
    Yeah no that's not it. 
    image
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