Vow Renewals

I want to do this right!

I am planning a vow renewal/anniversary party for our 5th anniversary in 2017. My husband and I are so excited to celebrate 5 years together! Another reason for the celebration is that relationships between our families are wonderful now, but were not when we first got married. We really feel that two families have become one over the past few years, and just find that to be another reason to celebrate with our loved ones.

I'll freely admit that I'm going to be wearing a white dress, but mainly because I love white. It'll be mid calf length, no veil, train, etc. But other than that, this is not a wedding do over. We adored our wedding! Our children, who will be almost 3 and 4 at the time of the party will be walking me down the aisle, we will have our original pastor do the "ceremony", and will be having a big fun party with food and dancing.

I know I have a lot of time to plan this, but I have a couple of etiquette questions for you ladies:

Is it okay to have my original florist recreate my original bouquet to use during the day? My bouquet was very special to me, but I don't want to use a bouquet if it would be considered inappropriate.

Would it be in bad taste to have a dance just between my husband and I? Dancing is a huge part of our lives, and I wouldn't have it be called a first dance or anything silly like that.

and

What are your thoughts on a "reverse" anniversary dance? I saw this done at a vow renewal a few years ago, and thought it was interesting. The DJ would have the longest married couples leave the dance floor first, and then my husband and I would give a piece of advice to the shortest married couple (or maybe even a couple about to get married?) left on the dance floor.

Thanks for your thoughts - I loved using this site to plan my wedding, and appreciate all the knowledge the women in this community have. Looking forward to reading what you all have to say.

Re: I want to do this right!

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    edited June 2015
    I am planning a vow renewal/anniversary party for our 5th anniversary in 2017. My husband and I are so excited to celebrate 5 years together! Another reason for the celebration is that relationships between our families are wonderful now, but were not when we first got married. We really feel that two families have become one over the past few years, and just find that to be another reason to celebrate with our loved ones.

    I'll freely admit that I'm going to be wearing a white dress, but mainly because I love white. It'll be mid calf length, no veil, train, etc. But other than that, this is not a wedding do over. We adored our wedding! Our children, who will be almost 3 and 4 at the time of the party will be walking me down the aisle, we will have our original pastor do the "ceremony", and will be having a big fun party with food and dancing.

    I know I have a lot of time to plan this, but I have a couple of etiquette questions for you ladies:

    Is it okay to have my original florist recreate my original bouquet to use during the day? My bouquet was very special to me, but I don't want to use a bouquet if it would be considered inappropriate.

    Would it be in bad taste to have a dance just between my husband and I? Dancing is a huge part of our lives, and I wouldn't have it be called a first dance or anything silly like that.

    and

    What are your thoughts on a "reverse" anniversary dance? I saw this done at a vow renewal a few years ago, and thought it was interesting. The DJ would have the longest married couples leave the dance floor first, and then my husband and I would give a piece of advice to the shortest married couple (or maybe even a couple about to get married?) left on the dance floor.

    Thanks for your thoughts - I loved using this site to plan my wedding, and appreciate all the knowledge the women in this community have. Looking forward to reading what you all have to say.

    Well, to be honest with you, I'm not a fan of a lot of what you have posted here, but that's because I tend not to be a fan of "vow renewals" in general because unless there's been a divorce and remarriage, wedding vows shouldn't need renewing.

    That said, I think you could have a really wonderful anniversary party with a lot of what you have planned here.  I don't see a problem with a white non-wedding dress, a special dance (if not a spotlight dance) between you and your husband, or the same type of flowers, although I think carrying a bouquet is a little too "weddingy."

    I would, however, skip the reverse anniversary dance.  This is me, but it may be very uncomfortable for singles, divorce/es, and widow/ers to watch, given that they're not invited to participate in it-as well as for people who have been married a long time but don't want the spotlight or whose marriages are in trouble to participate in it.  It's also not really fair to people who have been in relationships that are not "marriages," like gay couples who cannot legally marry.  Not only that, people aren't going to appreciate receiving advice on being married from a couple who's only been married 5 years.

  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 Cowtown
    Moderator 5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    mod
    I agree with @Jen4948. Some of the things you mentioned sound nice, but be careful not to tread too much into wedding territory. Just have a nice, simple, short exchange of vows and then head right into party territory. The party can have food, booze, cake, dancing, and maybe even a speech from you two thanking everyone for coming. Just avoid special dances, tosses, and all things that point toward wedding.

     







  • You should not carry a bouquet.  You get a nice corsage, instead.

    You and your husband can have the special dance.  Call it your anniversary dance.

    The reverse anniversary dance is a bad idea.  What if someone just lost their partner a few weeks ago?  It could cause some sadness.

    It really is to early for you to have a vow renewal, but if you insist, go ahead.  Just be sure to keeps the words "wedding, bride, and groom" our of your vocabulary!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    CMGragain said:
    You should not carry a bouquet.  You get a nice corsage, instead. Don't agree at all.  Some people hate corsages and wearing them.  I really don't see the big deal if she wishes to carry flowers or wear them.

    You and your husband can have the special dance.  Call it your anniversary dance.

    The reverse anniversary dance is a bad idea.  What if someone just lost their partner a few weeks ago?  It could cause some sadness.  Same could be said for a regular anniversary dance.

    It really is to early for you to have a vow renewal, but if you insist, go ahead.  Just be sure to keeps the words "wedding, bride, and groom" our of your vocabulary!


    TheLittleMrsMarcel
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited June 2015
    The bouquet/corsage advice came straight out of the guide for Vow Renewals.  Here is the guide.  They have revised it recently, so I am not as familiar with it now  It isn't perfect.  They talk about giving guests a dress code - UGH!  Mostly you want to avoid anything "bridal".

    http://www.idotaketwo.com/blog/vow-renewal-etiquette/

    I hope this helps.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • OK, I'm wrong about the flowers!  Either the site has changed, or I just plain got it wrong.  Go ahead and have your bouquet.  Here is the quote from the site:

    Can I Have a Bouquett? Flowers are perfect for most occasions, and your reaffirmation ceremony is no exception. Put together your bouquet with care and consideration so that it reflects your love for one another and coordinates with your event in both formality and color/theme choice.

    I apologize for my mistake.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • I had a Bouquet its ok .
  • Oh my goodness people, toss all of these rules into the closest garbage can!  Her vow renewal can be anything she pleases.  If she wants a white dress with a veil and six bridesmaids, then so be it! There is no law against having repeat weddings or do-overs or anything else. I do not believe in any of these rules. 

    Your wedding is whatever you want it to be.  If you are legally married, nothing matters anyway so do what you want.
    deannabob77
  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 Cowtown
    Moderator 5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    mod
    T19103 said:
    Oh my goodness people, toss all of these rules into the closest garbage can!  Her vow renewal can be anything she pleases.  If she wants a white dress with a veil and six bridesmaids, then so be it! There is no law against having repeat weddings or do-overs or anything else. I do not believe in any of these rules. 

    Your wedding is whatever you want it to be.  If you are legally married, nothing matters anyway so do what you want.
    You clearly don't understand any type of etiquette at all, including forum etiquette. This post is from June and the OP has not been active on here since then. Bumping a post to stir the pot (which I have seen you do on another one of the boards I mod) can be considered trolling, which is against the TOS.


     







    OliveOilsMomJediElizabethHeffalumpInLoveInQueens
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited November 2015
    T19103 said:
    Oh my goodness people, toss all of these rules into the closest garbage can!  Her vow renewal can be anything she pleases.  If she wants a white dress with a veil and six bridesmaids, then so be it! There is no law against having repeat weddings or do-overs or anything else. I do not believe in any of these rules. 

    Your wedding is whatever you want it to be.  If you are legally married, nothing matters anyway so do what you want.
    Yes there is.  It is called bigamy. 
    If you do not believe in etiquette, then The Knot is probably not a good place for you to post.  No one here will agree with your statement.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    InLoveInQueens
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