Discussion is closed.

onefootinthebayou

They should rename this board "Wedding Whoa, What the Hell?"  I'd respond with advice but I'm not very good at puzzles.  

*Barbie*

Holy crap! This made it to the front page, guys! 

lyndausvi

We are a bunch of crazies I tell you.

We give links on how to get the BC sooner.

We do research to show she didn't even need a BC.

We give suggestions on how to make some money to cover the extra $1000.

We suggest canceling even if she loses the deposit.

We are just mean, mean people I tell you.  Maybe we should have suggested she go on with the party and skip out on the bill?

[Deleted User]

lyndausvi said:

We are a bunch of crazies I tell you.

We give links on how to get the BC sooner.

We do research to show she didn't even need a BC.

We give suggestions on how to make some money to cover the extra $1000.

We suggest canceling even if she loses the deposit.

We are just mean, mean people I tell you.  Maybe we should have suggested she go on with the party and skip out on the bill?

Or give her suggestions on the proper get-away car for a bank robbery.

MesmrEwe

Gosh dang - did we get Bingo on this one?!?!?!?  Went away for the day to work on other things and missed all the fun... 

OP - It might be best to follow the boards for a while before posting.  Just because you want a thread closed doesn't make it so. Years ago we were allowed to delete our own threads, not the case anymore.  I realize that you're frustrated, but too often brides come here putting the cart before the horse in their planning and need a little "Come to Jesus" moment, sometimes it comes across a little more straight-forward than others.  To your original point, have your civil ceremony before your legal one (provided that your state requires you to furnish a Birth Certificate/Power Bill/Proof of Address and not just a valid Government issued photo ID, you really may not even need the BC, but you need to check this stuff out first and that takes a call to the County Clerk's office.  OTOH, what you stated about your FI not being sure, if there's any question or doubt by either party, cancelling a party is cheaper than a divorce, do not get married if he's not wanting that!!!!  If you can't afford $5000 for said party and that's the only issue, you don't have to cut flowers, you just need to cut your image of what you wanted in flowers along with your meal's menu (all caterers offer a "dirt cheap" meal option - that you clean up your own paper plates from the tables with) and other "add-ons" to equal $1000.  The local grocery store still sells a $15 bunch of flowers that a bow and some snips will make look like a nice bouquet.  You don't need to serve alcohol at your reception..  You could just have cake and punch and this issue of the catering budget is over.  Everyone here has done it, we've all posted from a position of emotion and later regretted it, but that's when you learn to make your point of what you're wanting clearer...  Could have been a post to the budget board "Don't have $1000 for all of FMIL's added guests, how can we make cuts?"...  or Etiquette "(above line) how can we make cuts diplomatically because we're paying for this ourselves?"...  Or "FI's not sure, how should I react?" posted on the Wedding-911... 

[Deleted User]

I'm going to chime in as a PA bride who is going for her own marriage license in the next few weeks.  One of the PP is indeed correct that you do not need your birth certificate to get your PA marriage license.  We are required a photo id of some sort as well as your social security card.  A passport however does require a birth certificate.  It's not required for the marriage license because of the United States citizens who were NOT born in the United States. 

So please...if you read this, take a deep breath, take a few (or more than a few) chill pills, and proceed. 

ChemFanatic25

scribe95 said:

She was engaged for THREE YEARS and just now realized she needed her birth certificate? Except she really doesn't need it. What she needs is an extra summer job to pay for massively going over her budget. 

I'm still concerned that OP is marrying a guy who doesn't want to get married . . . . Yikes!

TrixieJess

Came for the bat signal.

I've had to replace my birth certificate 3 times since my early twenties. Twice because they are paper and I was told to by the Ministry, and the third because it got lost in a move. The first time I had to replace it, I had to sit in a Ministry office for 8 hours in order to get it the same day. The next time, I did it on line and got it 2 weeks later. The last time, they required a guarantor and I had to find someone who fit their description who had known me for the length of time required. Birth certificate came in a week.

I need to have a copy of my birth certificate. It is a requirement for all my other documents, health card, passport, driver's license, etc. I'm an adult though and managed to figure out how to get the documentation that I needed by myself.

VarunaTT

I just figured out why she's mad, you guys.

She wanted us to pony up $1K for her.

This is not GoFundMe, lady.

jacques27

Saw the "Discussion is closed" and went "Whoa! We can do that now?"  But nope.  Still doesn't work that way.  You can stick your fingers in your ears while screaming "la la la la la la la " all you want - you don't get to stop people from responding.

Awesome quoting skills @adk19 - much appreciated.

So, had three years to get a birth certificate, but didn't bother until seven weeks before.  (Did you not know the party was planned and rapidly approaching?  Have you actually been lying comatose for the last three years and your FI planned all this without your knowledge, not realizing you didn't have the proper documentation to get a marriage license?)

Budgeted $1000, but somehow couldn't budget for $1050 to get the birth certificate and yet managed to spend $5000 and still didn't get the birth certificate (?!?).

Planned a party (not a wedding, because a wedding is where you get married with all of the government required paperwork) because it was the "only way" to get married to someone who still has his umbilical cord attached despite literally the only things required to actually get married be two people of consenting age and enough money for a license and JOP.  So the party is missing all of the things actually required for a valid marriage ceremony to take place.

It's like the YAHTZEE of poor planning skills.

And how do people not understand that when you put on a ceremony that does not actually end in the two people being legally married, that you're having a fake wedding.  It's the equivalent of two actors in a movie or play - two actors get dressed up, say some words, and then end the day not actually married to each other.  It's the same damn thing - it's a fake.  You'd be no more "married" to your FI than I am to my GI Joe doll I "married" when I was 6 years old.