Changing name and coworkers

Knottie03777613

How long did it take people that you work with to get used to your new last name? In particular, I am thinking of coworkers or clients in other offices who maybe don't ever actually see you and only know you via an email address. I have some coworkers/clients in that capacity, and I am anxious about them not knowing who I am when they get an email. Is it appropriate to send an email letting them know my name has changed? What do you think?

[Deleted User]

Knottie03777613 said:

How long did it take people that you work with to get used to your new last name? In particular, I am thinking of coworkers or clients in other offices who maybe don't ever actually see you and only know you via an email address. I have some coworkers/clients in that capacity, and I am anxious about them not knowing who I am when they get an email. Is it appropriate to send an email letting them know my name has changed? What do you think?

This is an excellent question.  Can you maybe use your new name with your old email address for a while?  Then after a couple weeks/months use your new email address and new name in outgoing emails but still be able to receive emails to your old email address.  Then, put a no longer in use response on the old email address, ASmith@company.com is now receiving emails at AJones@company.com.  Thank you.

Maggie0829

Well it took my work about a year to finally change my email address to reflect my new name.

For people who have recently gotten married and changed their names, they would include their maiden name into their signature.  For example... Sincerely, Mary (Smith) Davis

They would do that for a while until they felt like everyone they typically deal with on a daily basis had seen the change and then they would just go to their changed name permanently.

southernbelle0915

I don't think it's inappropriate to tell people your name has changed. It's as simple as "FYI - I got married and my new married name is Jane Smith."

Also, make sure your email signature reflects the change.

emmaaa

I had my email changed for work when I got back. I also have a signature on my sent mail with my nae,  position, accreditation and certifications. I made sure my new name was reflected in my signature. 

Jen4948

It's okay to tell people that your name has changed as soon as the change takes effect.

Since it can take a while for people to realize that, though, phasing in the change is okay, such as having emails sent to your old address forwarded to your new one for a while.

[Deleted User]

Signed, Alice Jones (formerly Alice Smith)

frenchiekin

Most of the ladies at work have done the "Best Regards, Regina (Smith) Phalange".  I'm planning to do the same until it seems no longer necessary. 

vmj23

My email signature was changed right away, and email address very soon after.  Most people I emailed regularly had a chance to see my name change right away and once the email address changed and they emailed to my old name and got a response from the new name I think most people figured it out.  Some questioned it or if I got married but I think it was quick for people to figure it out. 

Knottie03777613

Thank you all for the suggestions. It sounds like it was fairly easy for everyone which makes me feel better about it.

jacques27

Knottie03777613 said:

Thank you all for the suggestions. It sounds like it was fairly easy for everyone which makes me feel better about it.

In terms of recognizing you, if some only know you by email, the First Name (Maiden Name) New Last Name thing works well, and most people I know have done that for about six months to a year.

Just wanted to add to try to not be offended if people don't remember your new last name for awhile.  How long it takes for people adjust varies by the relationship and the context they know you - which is why I recommend keeping the maiden name in the signature for awhile, too.  For instance, one woman at work got married within the first six months of starting there and I can't for the life of me remember her maiden name now.  Another woman recently got married and she's been there much longer than I have and for the first 8 years I was there she was always Jane Smith to me.  A year after getting married, I still think of her as Jane Smith instead of Jane Roberts and spend about five minutes trying to look up her email under Smith and another five trying remember that it's now Roberts after I finally remember it's not Smith any more.  And if you have a common first name where there are more than one of you in the office, some may think of you as "First Last" like it's single name and have a hard time adjusting.

Knottie03777613

Thanks for the tip I don't think I'd mind too much if people continued to use my last name, but I would hate to miss out on something important if they couldn't remember it! I still haven't decided whether or not I'm even going to change it (I've been married for a month now!) but this was one of my concerns and it sounds like it shouldn't be. We'll see what happens next...

climbingsingle

It didn't take too long. I had my email changed once I returned from my HM. We're a small company though, and my first name is not that common, so most of my contacts knew it was me. I did though include on all of my emails to please note my new email address. 

littlemushroom

I sent out a heads up email to the people I deal with in other offices letting them know my name would be changing to X in the near future. I specified I would have a new email address and would be listed under my new name in Lync as well. Everyone appreciated me letting them know before hand so there was no confusion.

My IT dept stopped listing my old email, but they forwarded everything sent to that one to my new email. So no matter what email address they use, I still get it. Maybe that is something your company can do too.

PandaNikki

Everyone at work knew I was changing my name (small company) so I didn't have a problem with that. Quite the opposite actually- people seemed a little obsessed with calling me "Mrs (New-last-name)" right after I got married! For people outside my company, I had my email address changed right away so I could get email to both but could only send email from the new one. People got used to it pretty quickly and I had no problems with the switch at work.

Other things are a different story. My personal email address is still my maiden name. A lot of my logins for banks and stuff are my maiden name, and just last night (I got married last August) I finally started changing my name with my student loans. 

vivelepunk

People were actually really snitty with me when I first got married. I asked my boss if it was okay to change my email (I had a lot of direct client interaction), and he said it was fine and even set up my new email for me. Then, later, his partner (not my boss in any way), who is a woman, came up to me and yelled at me publicly. She said it was completely unprofessional for a woman to change her name legally after being married, and gave me an earful about the patriarchy, and how dare I change my name without her permission (lol) and etc. It was fucking obscenely ridiculous. I cried, she laid into me so hard. Then she would make a big deal about calling me by my full maiden name, with extra emphasis on the last name.

So I guess be careful if you work with anyone who is mentally unstable.

Maggie0829

vivelepunk said:

People were actually really snitty with me when I first got married. I asked my boss if it was okay to change my email (I had a lot of direct client interaction), and he said it was fine and even set up my new email for me. Then, later, his partner (not my boss in any way), who is a woman, came up to me and yelled at me publicly. She said it was completely unprofessional for a woman to change her name legally after being married, and gave me an earful about the patriarchy, and how dare I change my name without her permission (lol) and etc. It was fucking obscenely ridiculous. I cried, she laid into me so hard. Then she would make a big deal about calling me by my full maiden name, with extra emphasis on the last name.

So I guess be careful if you work with anyone who is mentally unstable.

Uh, I hope you went to HR about her tirade.

Jen4948

Maggie0829 said:

vivelepunk said:

People were actually really snitty with me when I first got married. I asked my boss if it was okay to change my email (I had a lot of direct client interaction), and he said it was fine and even set up my new email for me. Then, later, his partner (not my boss in any way), who is a woman, came up to me and yelled at me publicly. She said it was completely unprofessional for a woman to change her name legally after being married, and gave me an earful about the patriarchy, and how dare I change my name without her permission (lol) and etc. It was fucking obscenely ridiculous. I cried, she laid into me so hard. Then she would make a big deal about calling me by my full maiden name, with extra emphasis on the last name.

So I guess be careful if you work with anyone who is mentally unstable.

Uh, I hope you went to HR about her tirade.

And your own boss.

Knottie92548810

Ask what other married co-workers have done. A couple of my co-workers have gotten married while working at my work and I intend on asking soon. 

For the most part, we just keep the same email address as our maiden name but change the name attached to it so we can be found both ways.

vivelepunk

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

vivelepunk said:

People were actually really snitty with me when I first got married. I asked my boss if it was okay to change my email (I had a lot of direct client interaction), and he said it was fine and even set up my new email for me. Then, later, his partner (not my boss in any way), who is a woman, came up to me and yelled at me publicly. She said it was completely unprofessional for a woman to change her name legally after being married, and gave me an earful about the patriarchy, and how dare I change my name without her permission (lol) and etc. It was fucking obscenely ridiculous. I cried, she laid into me so hard. Then she would make a big deal about calling me by my full maiden name, with extra emphasis on the last name.

So I guess be careful if you work with anyone who is mentally unstable.

Uh, I hope you went to HR about her tirade.

And your own boss.

Sadly there was no HR--my boss and his crazy bitch partner owned the company and there were 10 employees total. I left for a better job a few weeks after the wedding, actually.

Jen4948

vivelepunk said:

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

vivelepunk said:

People were actually really snitty with me when I first got married. I asked my boss if it was okay to change my email (I had a lot of direct client interaction), and he said it was fine and even set up my new email for me. Then, later, his partner (not my boss in any way), who is a woman, came up to me and yelled at me publicly. She said it was completely unprofessional for a woman to change her name legally after being married, and gave me an earful about the patriarchy, and how dare I change my name without her permission (lol) and etc. It was fucking obscenely ridiculous. I cried, she laid into me so hard. Then she would make a big deal about calling me by my full maiden name, with extra emphasis on the last name.

So I guess be careful if you work with anyone who is mentally unstable.

Uh, I hope you went to HR about her tirade.

And your own boss.

Sadly there was no HR--my boss and his crazy bitch partner owned the company and there were 10 employees total. I left for a better job a few weeks after the wedding, actually.

Good move!

[Deleted User]

Leave your email address for a while. But you could start signing your emails " Jane Smith Jones" and then after a while just change it to Jane Jones. WIth changing your email address, that depends on your employer. I've been married for 3 years now and they still won't change my email address, so that gets confusing giving my married name but telling people something totally different for my work email.

[Deleted User]

Erikan73 said:

Leave your email address for a while. But you could start signing your emails " Jane Smith Jones" and then after a while just change it to Jane Jones. WIth changing your email address, that depends on your employer. I've been married for 3 years now and they still won't change my email address, so that gets confusing giving my married name but telling people something totally different for my work email.

I think it's been recommended before not to use a name that isn't your name.  So, don't use Jane Smith Jones if that isn't your name.  So either Jane (Smith) Jones or Jane Jones (formerly Jane Smith).  People might take you going from one last name to two last names to a different last name as changing your name twice instead of just once.  That could get confusing when it doesn't need to be.

Knottie03777613

I am going to change my name to First Maiden Married so Jane Smith Jones would be appropriate. I may only keep the signature that way for a while and eventually just eliminate the Smith but that will legally be my name so it won't be a problem.