WTF

JaniV123

Background story: 

My mom has a douche bag of a BF whom I dislike very much, and the sentiment is mutual. 

Well this dude's mother felt the need to buy us a wedding gift. I don't know her or have any info on her so I never wrote a thank you note. 

Well it seems she called my mother asking why she hadn't received a note. 

Keep in mind she wasn't invited to the wedding or anything, I don't even know how she found the registry (although I think my mother told her) 

SO I will write her one but I am still a little irked about it since I have never even seen this person in my life

mrscomposer

*shrugs* You received a gift - you should have written a note.  It doesn't matter who it's from.  Your mom (or her BF) would have contact information for her and could have passed it along.

We received a gift from the mother of one of our mutual friends (R has known J for a lot longer than I've known R).  I have never met R's mom, and when it arrived I had to ask who it was, because I had never even heard her name.  J had only met her MAYBE twice.  I wrote a thank you note anyway.  It's weird, sure, but if someone you don't know is nice enough to give a gift, you should be polite enough to write a thank you.

AlexisA01

JaniV123 said:

Background story: 

My mom has a douche bag of a BF whom I dislike very much, and the sentiment is mutual. 

Well this dude's mother felt the need to buy us a wedding gift. I don't know her or have any info on her so I never wrote a thank you note. 

Well it seems she called my mother asking why she hadn't received a note. 

Keep in mind she wasn't invited to the wedding or anything, I don't even know how she found the registry (although I think my mother told her) 

SO I will write her one but I am still a little irked about it since I have never even seen this person in my life

You always write a thank you note...no matter if they are invited to the wedding or not...it's etiquette. 

hellohkb

JaniV123 said:

Background story: 

My mom has a douche bag of a BF whom I dislike very much, and the sentiment is mutual. 

Well this dude's mother felt the need to buy us a wedding gift. I don't know her or have any info on her so I never wrote a thank you note. 

Well it seems she called my mother asking why she hadn't received a note. 

Keep in mind she wasn't invited to the wedding or anything, I don't even know how she found the registry (although I think my mother told her) 

SO I will write her one but I am still a little irked about it since I have never even seen this person in my life

This. I would have asked my mom for contact info... Though I also wouldn't call around demanding to know why I never received a thank you note.

AddieCake

Why would you think you wouldn't need to write a thank you note? You didn't even try to find out her contact info.

huskypuppy14

We received gifts from a couple of MIL's friends who weren't invited to the wedding (MIL has a lot of friends, we invited 15 of them!) One of them had bought the gift and their address was on the packing slip, but the other we just asked MIL for her address. It's not that hard. 

I understand you don't like your mother's BF, but if someone buys you a gift, no matter who they are, you express your gratitude to them. If you really didn't want the gift, you should have returned it to her.

CMGragain

Anyone has the right to send you a gift.  You are obligated to write them a thank you note ASAP.  This was your etiquette fail.

huskypuppy14

CMGragain said:

Anyone has the right to send you a gift.  You are obligated to write them a thank you note ASAP.  This was your etiquette fail.

Pretty sure a stalker or someone you have a restraining order against doesn't have a right to send you a gift. This isn't the case in this situation, but just saying it's not always "anyone".

CMGragain

Wow!  I never thought of that!

redoryx

Someone sends you a gift, you write a thank you note. To, y'know, thank them for the gift they sent. 

This was a big etiquette fail on your part. 

sarahufl

Um, yeah- why didn't you feel the need to thank her? That is really rude.

levioosa

So...someone took time to go out and buy you a gift, even though they weren't invited to the wedding, and you're snarking on the fact they felt it would have been respectful to send them a thank you note? Someone here has a shitty attitude, and it wasn't your "Mom's douchebag BF's mom." 

JaniV123 said:

Background story: 

My mom has a douche bag of a BF whom I dislike very much, and the sentiment is mutual. 

Well this dude's mother felt the need to buy us a wedding gift. I don't know her or have any info on her so I never wrote a thank you note. 

Well it seems she called my mother asking why she hadn't received a note. 

Keep in mind she wasn't invited to the wedding or anything, I don't even know how she found the registry (although I think my mother told her) 

SO I will write her one but I am still a little irked about it since I have never even seen this person in my life

[Deleted User]

Just because your mom's boyfriend is a douche doesn't mean you should treat anyone associated with him poorly... she took the time out to do something nice and it would have been easy to have your mom get her address.

JaniV123

Yeah I guess I didn't see it that way, and I may have over reacted. I will write the note ASAP and get it to her. I think I did ask my mom for her info but I never got it so I didn't think about it again. 

I didn't mean for it to be rude on purpose

huskypuppy14

JaniV123 said:

Yeah I guess I didn't see it that way, and I may have over reacted. I will write the note ASAP and get it to her. I think I did ask my mom for her info but I never got it so I didn't think about it again. 

I didn't mean for it to be rude on purpose

Glad to hear it!

Also, it's very easy to find someone's registry. You just search the usual places that people register. Or just google their name. My friend just had a baby and I was never told if or where she was registered. I just put her name into babys R us and found her registry and bought her a present. 

MairePoppy

That's a strange reaction to someone sending you a gift. She did nothing wrong. When she didn't receive a thank you note, she wondered if you received her gift because she assumed you have good manners and would have sent a thank you note. 

thisismynickname2

The gift box didn't have a return address or shipping/billing label? That would be my first look for an address for a TY note.

kaitlynmichelle

Some of my mom's coworkers were kind enough to split on a giftcard for H and I. I only had the address of one coworker, so I called my mom up and asked if she had them, or if not, could she help me get them. I sent them right away once I had addresses.

None of these people were invited to the wedding.

I was absolutely delighted they were generous enough to send a gift. You shouldn't consider it an annoyance to write a gracious note to her, whether or not you've met her. It was rude of you to not bother in the first place.

princessleia22

Yep, like others said, you need to write a thank you even if you don't know them or they weren't invited to the wedding.  I received a few gifts from friends of my mom that I had never met.  I asked my mom for addresses so I could send thank you notes.  For a couple of them I found addresses online (whitepages.com, etc.), just by knowing their full name & city (may not work if they have common names like John Smith or something), before my mom was even able to get back to me with addresses.

lyndausvi

We received gifts from quite a few people who were not invited to the wedding.  A few were just mere acquaintances from work (i.e. guests who have been coming to the resort who have known us for years).     Of course, we sent them TY notes.

ShesSoCold

Uhhhh yeah OP this is your mistake.

FWIW, H and I received a wedding gift from his aunt a few months after the wedding. I'd never met her, she wasn't invited to the wedding and she called me a bitch on facebook several years ago. We got her address and sent her a thank you card. NBD. 

Send her a thank you and move on with your life.