Pre-wedding Parties

Gifts for shower host

Hello!

My FMIL has a good group of ladies she is friends with. When my FI and I got engaged FMIL said her friends wanted to throw a shower and I accepted, very humbled that these people, who do not even know me would offer to do this.

I only know the date of the shower and that is all currently. I have asked the FMIL the names of the hosts so I can get them a little something to thank them.

There is the problem. I have no idea what to get them. I do not know them! My guess is most of them are in their 60's but do not know what types of hobbies or other things they like.

Does anyone have any ideas on what to get these ladies that says thank you without also saying "I have no idea who you are."

Thank you!
Alicia

Re: Gifts for shower host

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    Bottles of wine or gift cards to a nice store would be appropriate.
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta
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    I would ask FMIL for some ideas. They are her friends, so she should be able to help.

    If she's no help, I would go with a gift basket. Maybe wine and cheese, or fruit, or even bath products. 
  • beachyone15beachyone15 TEXAS (the home of my exes)
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    I had a shower hosted by a few of my mom's friends from church. I got them each a cute coffee mug and filled it with assorted coffee, tea, and chocolate truffles. I figured food is always a crowd-pleaser!


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    [Deleted User]
  • Thank you ladies.

    I just found out the shower has 7 hosts!

    I would love to do wine or something nice but even just a $20 bottle times 7 people adds up. I am thinking maybe a nice scented candle for each.

    Thank you again!
  • aliwis000 said:
    Thank you ladies.

    I just found out the shower has 7 hosts!

    I would love to do wine or something nice but even just a $20 bottle times 7 people adds up. I am thinking maybe a nice scented candle for each.

    Thank you again!
    Unless you know they'd all like a scented candle, I might just go with a heartfelt note.  I can't use scented candles in my home as FH is hyper sensitive to smells - fragrance-free everything for me since I decided to make him a big party of my life.
  • I guess it's a good thing she's not buying for you then @adk19! I still cannot understand why people look a gift horse in the mouth!! So take the candle with the appreciation that it was given with thanks and move along. OP the nice scented candle for each of your lovely 7 hosts sounds like a wonderful idea! 
    ILoveBeachMusic
  • I guess it's a good thing she's not buying for you then @adk19! I still cannot understand why people look a gift horse in the mouth!! So take the candle with the appreciation that it was given with thanks and move along. OP the nice scented candle for each of your lovely 7 hosts sounds like a wonderful idea! 
    I'm just trying to save her some money.  She's just as good writing out a heartfelt note as she is spending 7 times whatever gift she decides to buy.  Especially if one or more of the 7 can't use the chosen gift.  And it's not looking a gift horse in the mouth, a scented candle is not a gift to me.  It's a hassle For me, something I need to find someone else to give it to or a Goodwill to take it to.  So, instead of giving me a Gift, she's giving me more shit to do in thanks for my throwing her a party.  I'm trying to help.  If you don't know your hosts well enough to know whether they'd all want a scented candle, it makes more sense to skip it and just Thank them, truly Thank them for their friendship, and time, and love.
  • They are women right? Get them something woman of all ages love. You could go Bath & Body's and buy them a set of lotion, soap, etc? A spa gift card? Bracelet? On a budget, make them a pedicure kit or homemade bath scrubs? A thoughtful note? You could do a mini bottle of wine and some cheese and crackers? or some sort of edible treat? Get them a corsage for during the slower?


    if they do or don't exactly like the gift that's there problem. You made the gesture.

  • They are women right? Get them something woman of all ages love. You could go Bath & Body's and buy them a set of lotion, soap, etc? A spa gift card? Bracelet? On a budget, make them a pedicure kit or homemade bath scrubs? A thoughtful note? You could do a mini bottle of wine and some cheese and crackers? or some sort of edible treat? Get them a corsage for during the slower?


    if they do or don't exactly like the gift that's there problem. You made the gesture.

    Really?  Women of all ages like the same thing?  Really?  I don't use scented lotion, soap, etc.  I don't go to spas.  I don't need anymore pedicure kits or bath scrubs that I'll never use.  I can get behind wine and cheese, especially the cheese, and any other edible treat.  But putting any of those things into the category of "something women of all ages love" is a bit much.  In fact, even with the wine, I personally prefer beer.  I must be an awful woman to hate so many of the things that "women of all ages love".
    beachyone15
  • beachyone15beachyone15 TEXAS (the home of my exes)
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    They are women right? Get them something woman of all ages love. You could go Bath & Body's and buy them a set of lotion, soap, etc? A spa gift card? Bracelet? On a budget, make them a pedicure kit or homemade bath scrubs? A thoughtful note? You could do a mini bottle of wine and some cheese and crackers? or some sort of edible treat? Get them a corsage for during the slower?


    if they do or don't exactly like the gift that's there problem. You made the gesture.

    Really?!


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  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA
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    They are women right? Get them something woman of all ages love. You could go Bath & Body's and buy them a set of lotion, soap, etc? A spa gift card? Bracelet? On a budget, make them a pedicure kit or homemade bath scrubs? A thoughtful note? You could do a mini bottle of wine and some cheese and crackers? or some sort of edible treat? Get them a corsage for during the slower?


    if they do or don't exactly like the gift that's there problem. You made the gesture.

    JFC. NOT ALL WOMEN LIKE THAT CRAP!!!

    Buying someone something you assume they should like because they have a pair of ovaries and a vagina is not making any gesture other than "I have to buy you a present but I don't really want to and I don't want to be bothered figuring out what you, as an individual human being, would like, so here's some generic crap."



    [Deleted User]JediElizabethShesSoCold
  • I'm sorry, when did it become about the specific gift as opposed to the gesture? The OP said she does not know these women. So we're going to freak out over her giving them a scented candle or Bath & Body stuff when these are perfectly acceptable gifts? Anything the OP will buy might be hated by one or more of these ladies, regardless of what it is (basket of cheese for someone who's lactose intolerant? Assortment of coffee and teas for someone who only prefers to drink water? A bracelet for someone who hates having anything on her wrist?) I would hope these ladies are gracious enough to accept the gift as what it is -- a thank you -- and not get pissed if it isn't what she would have chosen for herself.
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
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    Your FMIL's friends are indeed very thoughtful to host a shower for you.  I have to ask, however, whether these 7 women are invited to your wedding. 

    As far as gift giving is concerned, I agree that what makes the most sense in terms of time, money, and appreciation, is to ask your FMIL what these women might like in terms of a small token of appreciation. 

    As far as responses from @JerseyBeachGal22 and @mzelizabethlynn and @snowywinter.....I do appreciate any gesture of thoughtfulness anyone cares to extend me.  However, when the gift is something I have absolutely NO use for, I feel incredibly guilty that someone spent hard earned money on something that will go to waste.  I would rather receive a $1.00 candy bar that I will truly enjoy and appreciate, than a gift of any monetary amount that will end up in the garbage or Goodwill.  I do not use any scented soaps or lotions.  I do not care for candles.  If one actually matches my bath decor, I may use it as a random accent, but that is the extent of it.  I do not drink wine with any regularity. I don't wear jewelry. 

    The OP also said she does not have/cannot spend too much money.

    @aliwis000, you have two wise options.  Ask FMIL for suggestions, or write each of them a heartfelt note of gratitude and appreciation.  You can never go wrong with either of those.



    [Deleted User]
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA
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    I'm sorry, when did it become about the specific gift as opposed to the gesture? The OP said she does not know these women. So we're going to freak out over her giving them a scented candle or Bath & Body stuff when these are perfectly acceptable gifts? Anything the OP will buy might be hated by one or more of these ladies, regardless of what it is (basket of cheese for someone who's lactose intolerant? Assortment of coffee and teas for someone who only prefers to drink water? A bracelet for someone who hates having anything on her wrist?) I would hope these ladies are gracious enough to accept the gift as what it is -- a thank you -- and not get pissed if it isn't what she would have chosen for herself.
    What it's not about is buying gifts for someone based on assumptions that they like something because they're a woman, and what's not okay is making comments like "something women of all ages like."  No such thing, and stereotyping women as people who invariably like scented candles and jewelry is insulting. 



    JediElizabeth[Deleted User]
  • MobKaz said:
    Your FMIL's friends are indeed very thoughtful to host a shower for you.  I have to ask, however, whether these 7 women are invited to your wedding. 

    As far as gift giving is concerned, I agree that what makes the most sense in terms of time, money, and appreciation, is to ask your FMIL what these women might like in terms of a small token of appreciation. 

    As far as responses from @JerseyBeachGal22 and @mzelizabethlynn and @snowywinter.....I do appreciate any gesture of thoughtfulness anyone cares to extend me.  However, when the gift is something I have absolutely NO use for, I feel incredibly guilty that someone spent hard earned money on something that will go to waste.  I would rather receive a $1.00 candy bar that I will truly enjoy and appreciate, than a gift of any monetary amount that will end up in the garbage or Goodwill.  I do not use any scented soaps or lotions.  I do not care for candles.  If one actually matches my bath decor, I may use it as a random accent, but that is the extent of it.  I do not drink wine with any regularity. I don't wear jewelry. 

    The OP also said she does not have/cannot spend too much money.

    @aliwis000, you have two wise options.  Ask FMIL for suggestions, or write each of them a heartfelt note of gratitude and appreciation.  You can never go wrong with either of those.

    You feeling guilty for not liking your gift, while unfortunate, does not diminish the fact that the person gave you a gift as gratitude. If you offer to host a shower for someone you don't know, who doesn't know you, then you have to accept that her gift to you (should she choose to give one) will be something that you may or may not love.

    That said I agree that the OP should ask her FFIL or give a gift card with a heartfelt thank you note.
  • Woman in these boards can be so rude...I'm completely turned off from coming to this forum again. I'm simply giving ideas and all you woman do is criticize.

  • beachyone15beachyone15 TEXAS (the home of my exes)
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    Woman in these boards can be so rude...I'm completely turned off from coming to this forum again. I'm simply giving ideas and all you woman do is criticize.

    image


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  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
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    Woman in these boards can be so rude...I'm completely turned off from coming to this forum again. I'm simply giving ideas and all you woman do is criticize.


    The issue posters had with your suggestion was the sweeping generalization behind it.  This apparently seems to be a common theme for you.  Not every woman on "these boards" is rude.  People can and will disagree with offered suggestions.  Posters can and will be direct, and even blunt.  This is not the same as rude.

    If you are so sensitive as to be "turned off" by a few comments by strangers, an internet forum is probably not in your best interest. 
  • Woman in these boards can be so rude...I'm completely turned off from coming to this forum again. I'm simply giving ideas and all you woman do is criticize.

    The plural of Woman is Women.

    Bye, Felicia!
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA
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    Woman in these boards can be so rude...I'm completely turned off from coming to this forum again. I'm simply giving ideas and all you woman do is criticize.

    There's a woman trapped in these boards?! 



    thespeshulestsnowflake[Deleted User]
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