BridesMan?

theredisgreen

My fiancé and I are going to have a pretty large wedding party (possibly 8-9 for each of us). One of my best friends is a guy and I would love to have him in my wedding. However, he isn't really close to my fiancé. If he's in the wedding, I want him to be standing with me and my bridesmaids. Is it weird to have 9 groomsmen on my fiancé's side and then 8 bridesmaids and 1 guy on my side? It doesn't bother me at all but other people that I have talked to about this thinks it's a little weird and that he should be on the side with the groomsmen (which I don't agree simply because he's my best friend, not my fiancé's). I have heard of a Man of Honor, be he won't be that since I will have my sister as my Maid of Honor. I can't imagine that this has never been done before. Any comments, advice, suggestions would be great! (Maybe I am overthinking this and should just do what I want anyway)!

downtondiva

Yes, you are overthinking it. If he is one of your best friends and you'd like to include him on your side in the wedding party, then do it. And if people think it's weird, so what? This has nothing to do with etiquette or the comfort of your guests, so yes, do what you want.

AddieCake

It's fine to include your male friend on your side.

[Deleted User]

theredisgreen said:

My fiancé and I are going to have a pretty large wedding party (possibly 8-9 for each of us). One of my best friends is a guy and I would love to have him in my wedding. However, he isn't really close to my fiancé. If he's in the wedding, I want him to be standing with me and my bridesmaids. Is it weird to have 9 groomsmen on my fiancé's side and then 8 bridesmaids and 1 guy on my side? It doesn't bother me at all but other people that I have talked to about this thinks it's a little weird and that he should be on the side with the groomsmen (which I don't agree simply because he's my best friend, not my fiancé's). I have heard of a Man of Honor, be he won't be that since I will have my sister as my Maid of Honor. I can't imagine that this has never been done before. Any comments, advice, suggestions would be great! (Maybe I am overthinking this and should just do what I want anyway)!

My sister and I were groomswomen for my cousin.  We wore dresses similar but different from the bridesmaids dresses and stood on the groom's side.  We rode in the limo with the guys (the ring bearer was a little weirded out by that because at 5 girls are gross.)  Everyone actually said how cool it was that my cousin chose us to stand up with him.  Ask your best friends to stand next to you regardless of their genitalia.

MyNameIsNot

This is not weird and has been done plenty of times before. The notion that women could only have female friends and men could only have male friends died out long ago. 

lembaslover

I'm having a bridesman and my fiance is having all guys, I don't think it's weird and so far no one I've told has thought so either. He's wearing the same tux as the groomsmen.

The groomsmen will be standing at the alter with my fiance and he can choose if he will be in the processional with the bridesmaids. For the recessional he'll stop and walk my grandma back down the aisle and one of the groomsmen will walk my fiances grandma back down the aisle.

Friends shouldn't be excluded because of their gender. Likewise you shouldn't have to pick someone just because of their gender or to make sides even. Pick the people you want and in the end logistics really aren't that hard to figure out.

drunkenwitch

I was the only woman in my brother's wedding party (I called my myself the groomsbroad) and the last wedding I was in the bride had a man of honor. No one batted an eye. If you want him to stand up with you, ask him.

NicRen17

My brother is going to be my (Bride's) Best Man and my FI's sister is going to be his (Groom's) Maid of Honor. My mom thought it was ridiculous but I've stuck my ground and she's understanding about it now. And those two are the only ones in our wedding party, aside from FI's son being a ringbearer.

theredisgreen

Thanks everyone. I still have people telling me "Well you're gonna have to explain to everyone at your wedding why you have a guy standing on your side..." Why should I have to explain? Thats crazy to me! But then this brings on more questions...does he go to the bachelor or bachelorette party? Does he stand up there alone if I have the bridesmaids walk down the aisle by themselves (if all of the groomsmen are with the groom when the girls walk down the aisle). My best friend wants to be in the wedding, he was actually the one that put that idea in my head in the first place. I would love to have him in the wedding but it only makes sense to me to have him on my side. Does anyone have pictures from their wedding with a guy on the bride's side or girl on the groom's side. I still haven't come across any pictures of weddings like this and I would love to see!

AddieCake

If he is friends with your fiancé and he wants to invite him to the bachelor party, that's fine. If you want to invite him to your bachelorette party, that's fine. I would probably have him already standing instead of walking down the aisle. My husband had a groomswoman. You can see her in my sig pic.

ETA: I don't understand how you can't find any pics of this online. Just Google image "mixed gender wedding party." It's quite common.

Maggie0829

theredisgreen said:

Thanks everyone. I still have people telling me "Well you're gonna have to explain to everyone at your wedding why you have a guy standing on your side..." Why should I have to explain? Thats crazy to me! But then this brings on more questions...does he go to the bachelor or bachelorette party? Does he stand up there alone if I have the bridesmaids walk down the aisle by themselves (if all of the groomsmen are with the groom when the girls walk down the aisle). My best friend wants to be in the wedding, he was actually the one that put that idea in my head in the first place. I would love to have him in the wedding but it only makes sense to me to have him on my side. Does anyone have pictures from their wedding with a guy on the bride's side or girl on the groom's side. I still haven't come across any pictures of weddings like this and I would love to see!

If you want him to come to your bachelorette party then invite him.  This is your friend.  Treat him like you would any other day of the week.  Don't let wedding brain affect how you include him.

I would have him process down the aisle like the rest of your bridal party.  Why have him just stand up there when everyone else on your side processes down the aisle?

And only dumb people will not understand why he is standing on your side.  Seriously don't worry about what other people say.

And to see loads of pictures....CLICK

[Deleted User]

theredisgreen said:

Thanks everyone. I still have people telling me "Well you're gonna have to explain to everyone at your wedding why you have a guy standing on your side..." Why should I have to explain? Thats crazy to me! But then this brings on more questions...does he go to the bachelor or bachelorette party? Does he stand up there alone if I have the bridesmaids walk down the aisle by themselves (if all of the groomsmen are with the groom when the girls walk down the aisle). My best friend wants to be in the wedding, he was actually the one that put that idea in my head in the first place. I would love to have him in the wedding but it only makes sense to me to have him on my side. Does anyone have pictures from their wedding with a guy on the bride's side or girl on the groom's side. I still haven't come across any pictures of weddings like this and I would love to see!

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=mixed+gender+wedding+parties

novella1186

FWIW, I had a "bridesman" and my H had a "groomswoman." We both happened to have close friends of the opposite sex that we'd known our entire lives and were close to (I'd known my friend since he was born, so he's kind of like a little brother to me). 

The groomsmen (and woman) came in from the side and stood at the front. 

The bridesmaid (and man) processed down the aisle one at a time. No one seemed confused or asked me why that happened. 

My bridesman was invited to H's bachelor party just because H likes him and wanted him there, and it was something he would enjoy (he didn't make it because he had just moved several states away). 

I didn't invite him to my bachelorette because it was just me and 2 other girls drinking wine and watching movies, which I thought would be really boring for him. (And, like I said, he had moved anyway). 

Don't worry too much about what's traditionally "supposed" to happen. I think you have the right idea including people based on them being close to you rather than based on gender and tradition. This wedding is about you and your FI; go with what's right for the two of you. 

[Deleted User]

novella1186 said:

FWIW, I had a "bridesman" and my H had a "groomswoman." We both happened to have close friends of the opposite sex that we'd known our entire lives and were close to (I'd known my friend since he was born, so he's kind of like a little brother to me). 

The groomsmen (and woman) came in from the side and stood at the front. 

The bridesmaid (and man) processed down the aisle one at a time. No one seemed confused or asked me why that happened. 

My bridesman was invited to H's bachelor party just because H likes him and wanted him there, and it was something he would enjoy (he didn't make it because he had just moved several states away). 

I didn't invite him to my bachelorette because it was just me and 2 other girls drinking wine and watching movies, which I thought would be really boring for him. (And, like I said, he had moved anyway). 

Don't worry too much about what's traditionally "supposed" to happen. I think you have the right idea including people based on them being close to you rather than based on gender and tradition. This wedding is about you and your FI; go with what's right for the two of you. 

Exactly this.  I might have a bridesman.  If I do, he will probably be invited to my bachelorette party because knowing me, my B party will be at a pub or brewery, maybe something involving football.  These are the things I like, and the people who might throw me a party know these things, and if it's this kind of event, I'll have the people who would enjoy this type of event get invited.

Jen4948

I might ask my brother to be a bridesman for me.

Knottie92548810

My friend who got married last summer, her now husband had a groomsmaid right in the middle of all the guys, but she wore a suit instead of a dress. She had all girls. Its the way they wanted it.

NicRen17

novella1186 did bridesman have anything to carry when he came down the aisle like the bridemaids? Did you do anything different for him?

My brother will be my Best Man and he is the only person on my side. So besides our parents and my ringbearer, he will be the only other one walking down the aisle. 

I've been debating on giving him a bouquet (JOKINGLY) but I wouldn't expect him to carry. 
*I say bouquet because the first words out of his mouth when I asked him to be my Best Man, he asked what color dress he needed to order... ass LOL*

I've thought that I would have him walk down, have the ring bearer follow, and give BM the rings, and then RB sits in the pew with family. He's 6 and its going to be a 45 minute to an hour ceremony so I wouldn't expect him to stand at the altar for that long...

Just looking for ideas and suggestions too....

novella1186

NicRen17 said:

novella1186 did bridesman have anything to carry when he came down the aisle like the bridemaids? Did you do anything different for him?

My brother will be my Best Man and he is the only person on my side. So besides our parents and my ringbearer, he will be the only other one walking down the aisle. 

I've been debating on giving him a bouquet (JOKINGLY) but I wouldn't expect him to carry. 
*I say bouquet because the first words out of his mouth when I asked him to be my Best Man, he asked what color dress he needed to order... ass LOL*

I've thought that I would have him walk down, have the ring bearer follow, and give BM the rings, and then RB sits in the pew with family. He's 6 and its going to be a 45 minute to an hour ceremony so I wouldn't expect him to stand at the altar for that long...

Just looking for ideas and suggestions too....

Nope, he didn't carry anything. Just walked down normally. I did offer him my bouquet but he didn't feel it was necessary  

I think my bridesman was 4th so 3 girls walked before of him and one girl walked after him. He walked and then stood with them just like any BM would. No big deal. 

Don't overthink this too much. 

[Deleted User]

When I was a groomswoman I got a corsage, not a bouquet.  My sister (another groomswoman) didn't know what to do with her hands.  She's been a bridesmaid so many times she has this little trick where she wraps a kleenex around her finger and hides it with the bouquet.  I think she ended up putting a kleenex in her cleavage.  Anyway, all that to say, no, your bridesman doesn't need something to carry.

kiwicat1417

I don't think it's weird at all. I'm a bridesmaid in a wedding and there is a girl who is going to be wearing the same suit as the groomsmen. She feels more comfortable that way and everyone is fine with it. I'm no sure if she's going to have a corsage or be carrying a bouquet since she's standing on the bridesmaids side though...