Good "old" maid of honor!

myjayray

My SIL has asked me to be her MOH - I'm feeling odd about it.  First of all I'm in my 50's and she has a 26 year old daughter.  I'm really thinking her "adult" daughter should have the honor.  Now some additional background... my niece is living pay-check to pay-check obviously as an "older" person I'm financially better off.  I think my SIL is hoping for all the "trimmings" as a second-time bride that's why she asked me over her daughter.  But I think it's weird to have all that when we're in our 50's!  I thought a "bachelorette" type shower would be fun and low key rather than the crazy big luncheon!  So should I forge ahead as MOH or press the issue that the daughter should take the lead.... Thanks!

flbride2015

myjayray said:

My SIL has asked me to be her MOH - I'm feeling odd about it.  First of all I'm in my 50's and she has a 26 year old daughter.  I'm really thinking her "adult" daughter should have the honor.  Now some additional background... my niece is living pay-check to pay-check obviously as an "older" person I'm financially better off.  I think my SIL is hoping for all the "trimmings" as a second-time bride that's why she asked me over her daughter.  But I think it's weird to have all that when we're in our 50's!  I thought a "bachelorette" type shower would be fun and low key rather than the crazy big luncheon!  So should I forge ahead as MOH or press the issue that the daughter should take the lead.... Thanks!

MOHs and bridesmaids don't have roles or responsibilities. It's an honory thing. Your only duty as MOH is to get a dress and stand up next to her at her wedding. If she picked you to host parties then she's in the wrong. You shouldn't feel obligated to host anything; although you can if you want.

Jells2dot0

myjayray said:

My SIL has asked me to be her MOH - I'm feeling odd about it.  First of all I'm in my 50's and she has a 26 year old daughter.  I'm really thinking her "adult" daughter should have the honor.  Now some additional background... my niece is living pay-check to pay-check obviously as an "older" person I'm financially better off.  I think my SIL is hoping for all the "trimmings" as a second-time bride that's why she asked me over her daughter.  But I think it's weird to have all that when we're in our 50's!  I thought a "bachelorette" type shower would be fun and low key rather than the crazy big luncheon!  So should I forge ahead as MOH or press the issue that the daughter should take the lead.... Thanks!

Has she asked her daughter to be in the wedding? Or do you know if maybe she declined?

I agree with @flbride2015. You have no responsibility to throw any parties, unless of course, you want to! 

It might be a little strange to have a shower or bachelorette party when you are older, mostly because you have been established for so long, but they are still possiblities if someone wants to host one. Some ideas may be to have a bridal tea (non gift giving event) or in lieu of a bach. party, just a girl's night out for dinner and drinks. I'm sure that your sister is super excited to be re-marrying and she probably just wants to have fun with it!

flbride2015

Jells2dot0 said:

myjayray said:

My SIL has asked me to be her MOH - I'm feeling odd about it.  First of all I'm in my 50's and she has a 26 year old daughter.  I'm really thinking her "adult" daughter should have the honor.  Now some additional background... my niece is living pay-check to pay-check obviously as an "older" person I'm financially better off.  I think my SIL is hoping for all the "trimmings" as a second-time bride that's why she asked me over her daughter.  But I think it's weird to have all that when we're in our 50's!  I thought a "bachelorette" type shower would be fun and low key rather than the crazy big luncheon!  So should I forge ahead as MOH or press the issue that the daughter should take the lead.... Thanks!

Has she asked her daughter to be in the wedding? Or do you know if maybe she declined?

I agree with @flbride2015. You have no responsibility to throw any parties, unless of course, you want to! 

It might be a little strange to have a shower or bachelorette party when you are older, mostly because you have been established for so long, but they are still possiblities if someone wants to host one. Some ideas may be to have a bridal tea (non gift giving event) or in lieu of a bach. party, just a girl's night out for dinner and drinks. I'm sure that your sister is super excited to be re-marrying and she probably just wants to have fun with it!

I've also been to bachelorette parties where it was just a spa day. That was actually the best one I've been to because the girls rented out the spa after hours. So we were the last massages/facials of the day and then got the sauna and jacuzzi areas to ourselves for another hour or two after they closed. We had champagne and snacks and stuff and just relaxed and chatted. It was so much better than going out and partying.

Denise40

I'm 52 and my Matron of honor wants to have a bachelorette party for me. We are going to Painting with a twist, lots of fun, then out to dinner. Nothing way out there.

CMGragain

What does your age have to do with anything?  Your SIL has honored you by asking you to be her MOH.  This was her choice.  You don't get to choose the bridal party for someone else's wedding, relative, or not.
You have a choice.  You accept her kind honor and serve as her MOH, or you decline.

I hope you do realize that as MOH, your duties are simply to show up to the ceremony wearing the dress, be reasonably sober, and to hold her bouquet during the ring exchange?  You also pose for photos.  Showers and bachelorette parties are completely optional.