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Second Weddings

New to board and trying to make decisions!

Hello :) My name is Sarah. I get to marry my amazing man and best friend in January. I am 27 and this will be my second marriage, he is 22 and his first. My family is 100% on board, his still has reservations (the fact that I'm older and have been married) but at really doesn't matter. Majid is my fiance's name, he is your typical guy, not super interested in most wedding stuff. But he does let me talk his ear off about it so I appreciate that. We are having an outdoor ceremony/indoor reception, plated dinner, about 50 guests. 

I am struggling with something at the moment. I'm having a hard time not wanting to incorporate things that I did in my 1st wedding in to my 2nd. Little things such as at my 1st we had a large board with seating arrangements, now I just want place cards but people are saying it would be too confusing for guests to find their seats. 1st wedding colors were blue and green, Majid really wants blue and burlap, it's a different blue but still weird to me. Maid of honor and bridesmaid in 1st would be the exact same, just adding 2 more, for my 2nd.

I try to explain this stuff to Majid but it's hard because I'm afraid he's going to think I'm still emotionally attached to that wedding in some way, which I definitely am not. 

Please tell me this all makes sense to someone else and what you did to get over it. 

Re: New to board and trying to make decisions!

  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 Cowtown mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its


    It's your wedding to plan as you see fit, as long as you are properly hosting your guests. If there are certain things you want to avoid, then by all means do that. However, there is nothing wrong with repeating items. It's a totally separate event and you most likely chose certain things for your first wedding because you liked them!!! Your likes aren't going to change (at least for the most part) just because you are now divorced. I would sit down with your FI, go over some of the ideas, and compromise if need be. If he fees really strongly about blue, then maybe that is something you can agree to. If you did something the first time because you thought it was a great idea but you look back on it and think it wasn't the best fit, then change it! BTW- place cards are VERY normal at weddings. I would not think twice if someone had a place card waiting for me!!

    As for my weddings, they were two totally different events. My first wedding was the luxury traditional wedding-church, 150 ppl formal event. My second was a  beach elopement. I didn't really have to think too much about overlap, but there were certain aspects of my first wedding that I would have repeated if I had gone the traditional route again. I also took some "lessons learned" from my first wedding and made sure I didn't repeat them (ex: spent way too much on a dress, didn't want another updo, didn't want guests. LOL)

    I see what your hesitations are and why you'd have them. But, again, it's a separate event with a different set of people and circumstances.


  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Well, there are some things at weddings that are just "standard" or simply "work." I wouldn't use the same cake topper, for example, but I would have a seating chart. They are different levels of sameness, you know?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
  • AddieCake said:
    Well, there are some things at weddings that are just "standard" or simply "work." I wouldn't use the same cake topper, for example, but I would have a seating chart. They are different levels of sameness, you know?
    I agree. I mean seating charts are just about logistics. Honestly there are only a few ways to best convey this information to your guests. You can do place cards or a big chart. I suppose there are others but these are the 2 I have seen.

    You are free to do either, they both work and this has been proven by hundreds of weddings that use them. With only 50 people they are also more of an option than I think they might be for big weddings. Less people crowding around a table, less names they have to look through to find their names etc.

    We are having over 200 so we are going the chart route with a list alphabetized by last name. We will probably print 2 of them so there is less crowding and people can sit faster.

    This is your wedding, which I am thinking you and your FI are paying for. If this is true you are free to pick/plan whatever you want. As long as your guests are well hosted whatever overlap/not overlap you are comfortable with is ok. 
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