Bouquet Toss for small wedding

lembaslover

We're having a pretty small wedding 40-50 people. Of those there are 5 women who aren't married 3 of them are engaged. I'm pretty sure engaged women can still catch the bouquet right? Still it doesn't seem like a lot of people and normally I'd skip it but our venue is a castle and they have a tower that they use for the bouquet toss and it looks like a lot of fun. Would it be weird if maybe we just opened it up to all women? Or should we just have the non-married ladies do it?

We are skipping the garter toss, my fiance doesn't like the idea and I feel like that tradition is a little weird too. 

Maggie0829

I would just skip it.  Don't just do it because there is a tower to throw it off of.

Tosses are awkward, especially when there are only a handful that would be involved.  I also think chucking a bouquet of flowers to a group of women is just odd.

Just take some cool pictures of you and your groom up in the tower (photog down below and you guys up in the tower) and call it a day.

AddieCake

I would skip it and follow Maggie's suggestion to get some pics in the tower.

downtondiva

My wedding will also be on the smaller side, and I'm not doing a bouquet toss. I'm not a big fan of the tradition and was planning to skip it anyway, but looking at my guest list made me realize that there wouldn't be many unmarried women at the wedding, and there'd be even fewer who would be comfortable participating. Honestly, I don't think you or your guests would miss it.

MesmrEwe

IMO - it's your choice...  One other idea would be instead of the single toss bouquet, have a bouquet made that breaks apart in the air into several individual bouquets and they're all surprised with a small bunch (I made mine out of silk flowers - it was fun looking at the pics when the gals all realized that there were multiple bouquets!

CMGragain

I didn't do it at my wedding.  There were no single women.

Jen4948

I'd skip it and take some fantastic photos in the tower.

MandyMost

I didn't do it at my wedding. When you're at an age when your friends are getting married, you typically don't want a big spotlight on you saying "YOU'RE NOT MARRIED! CATCH MY LEFTOVERS AND MAYBE YOU'LL BE NEXT, IF YOU'RE LUCKY, YOU OLD HAG. SINGLE WOMEN ARE WORTHLESS, YOU NEED TO GET MARRIED!!!! NOW!!!!!"

Actually, I don't think single women want that at any age. Skip it. 

lovemesomemonster

I say skip it, I will do everything I can to NOT get up there when they announce this at weddings, and will not be doing it at ours. Get some awesome pictures in the tower but don't subject those poor women to this for the sake of throwing it off the tower. 

kvruns

I would skip it.  We had a similar wedding and about the same number of single women and thought it would be weird to have just a few up there.  Not to mention I always avoided it as a single person anyway so you might not have anyone show up to catch and that would be awkward

klk111415

I just went to a wedding where the couple opened up the bouquet toss to everyone as a contest, and gave away a bottle of booze to the person who caught it.  Teaming up was encouraged.  It was an awesome idea and a lot of fun! 

lembaslover

@klk111415 I'm glad that worked! I honestly don't understand why people think I'm going to be torturing the single women at the wedding when I specifically asked if it was OK to open it to everyone which is what I'd prefer. I understand some people don't want to do it and that's ok, no one is going to be forced to do it if they don't want to. 

I think I'm just going to open it up to everyone single, married, male, female and whoever catches it gets a prize. Not everyone in my family drinks so I might do a restaurant gift-card. Or I did also like @MesmrEwe 's suggestion of having the bouquet split apart and I could just do like dunkin donuts gift cards for that. Either way no one is singled out as being single and it can just be a fun game.

MandyMost

engagedhamstermom said:

@klk111415 I'm glad that worked! I honestly don't understand why people think I'm going to be torturing the single women at the wedding when I specifically asked if it was OK to open it to everyone which is what I'd prefer. I understand some people don't want to do it and that's ok, no one is going to be forced to do it if they don't want to. 

I think I'm just going to open it up to everyone single, married, male, female and whoever catches it gets a prize. Not everyone in my family drinks so I might do a restaurant gift-card. Or I did also like @MesmrEwe 's suggestion of having the bouquet split apart and I could just do like dunkin donuts gift cards for that. Either way no one is singled out as being single and it can just be a fun game.

Frisbee and Taboo are also fun games, and I don't want to play those at a wedding either. If you wouldn't do this at any other party you're throwing, why do it here? People want to enjoy the food, drink, music, company, and environment, not be interrupted to be encouraged to play some game to win a prize. It's a wedding, not a kids birthday party. 

lembaslover

@MandyMost honestly I'd play frisbee at a wedding, and for guests who don't like dancing they might enjoy taboo. People can still enjoy the food, music, company, and environment with a bouquet toss. I realize there's a lot of people here who don't like the bouquet toss and that's fine they don't have to have one but honestly I always enjoyed trying to catch the bouquet and I'm looking forward to tossing it out of a tower. If people don't want to participate they don't have to, no one is forced. They can keep eating or drinking, or doing whatever they were doing before hand. It's not like I'm asking if it's ok to not have enough chairs or have a cash bar, I'm just looking for a twist on the bouquet toss. 

klk111415

I think if you want to do it, then do it! I've been to plenty of weddings where they had a bouquet toss, and a few that skipped it.  I wasn't pissed that anyone included it- it's not my day so if the bride and groom want that, then whatever.  It's all a matter of preference.  Too many times opinions are given that make brides think they are stupid for even thinking of an idea, let alone posting it.  The bouquet toss is something that is "to each his own"  and if you have a tower- then just do it regardless of what people on here tell you.  I think bouquet tosses are awkward when followed up with the garter toss, and then putting the garter on the girl who caught the bouquet.  But a bouquet toss alone for all of the ladies is perfectly acceptable.  

@MandyMost And as a side note, the wedding I went to where it was turned into a game was filled with a lot of fun loving people and the activity was enjoyed by those who wanted to participate.  Teaming up was encouraged, and people were already out on the dance floor drinking and dancing and it went perfectly with the atmosphere and the wonderful couple that got married.  I guess you had to be there to get it.