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Pre-wedding Parties

Bridal Shower-Bride Duties

I'm being thrown a bridal shower in early August by my aunt (she is a bridesmaid) and mother. For those of you who have had showers, or are having one, at some point do I need to stand up and give a speech of sorts? Is just a quick 1 minute thank you for showing up and being here, for the presents, and for all the work sufficient? At some point should I stand up and introduce my bridesmaids who are there or is that more for at the wedding? Not all of them are able to come (some are out of town and can only travel in for the wedding). My bridesmaids gifts are being given out at the rehearsal (they're nothing big, just a thank you for being there), but I'd like to give them all out when everyone is together.

I've been to showers where the bridal party was introduced, I've been to ones where they haven't, I've been to showers where the bride has stood up front and given and speech, and I've thrown a bridal shower as the maid of honor once and the bride didn't say anything at all, but did thank the guests as the arrived and left. If standing in front of everyone and thanking them is the norm, when do you do it, beginning, middle, end? The shower is completely out of my control, but I like to be prepared as much as I can, so knowing what really is my duty as the bride at the shower is helpful. All of the details with the exception of the date have been kept a secret thus far, so do I just walk in and be surprised and let those who planned it take the steering wheel for the day?

Re: Bridal Shower-Bride Duties

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I'm being thrown a bridal shower in early August by my aunt (she is a bridesmaid) and mother. For those of you who have had showers, or are having one, at some point do I need to stand up and give a speech of sorts? Is just a quick 1 minute thank you for showing up and being here, for the presents, and for all the work sufficient? At some point should I stand up and introduce my bridesmaids who are there or is that more for at the wedding? Not all of them are able to come (some are out of town and can only travel in for the wedding). My bridesmaids gifts are being given out at the rehearsal (they're nothing big, just a thank you for being there), but I'd like to give them all out when everyone is together.

    I've been to showers where the bridal party was introduced, I've been to ones where they haven't, I've been to showers where the bride has stood up front and given and speech, and I've thrown a bridal shower as the maid of honor once and the bride didn't say anything at all, but did thank the guests as the arrived and left. If standing in front of everyone and thanking them is the norm, when do you do it, beginning, middle, end? The shower is completely out of my control, but I like to be prepared as much as I can, so knowing what really is my duty as the bride at the shower is helpful. All of the details with the exception of the date have been kept a secret thus far, so do I just walk in and be surprised and let those who planned it take the steering wheel for the day?
    I have never seen the bride stand up and give a speech or introduce her BMs.  The bridal shower is about you and I am sure your BMs are very nice people, but I just don't care that much to be introduced to them in a public speaking forum.

    Basically you just show up on time and be very gracious to whoever is there and whatever is done.

    [Deleted User]
  • NowIAmSypNowIAmSyp East Hanover, NJ member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments First Answer
    I'm being thrown a bridal shower in early August by my aunt (she is a bridesmaid) and mother. For those of you who have had showers, or are having one, at some point do I need to stand up and give a speech of sorts? Is just a quick 1 minute thank you for showing up and being here, for the presents, and for all the work sufficient? At some point should I stand up and introduce my bridesmaids who are there or is that more for at the wedding? Not all of them are able to come (some are out of town and can only travel in for the wedding). My bridesmaids gifts are being given out at the rehearsal (they're nothing big, just a thank you for being there), but I'd like to give them all out when everyone is together.

    I've been to showers where the bridal party was introduced, I've been to ones where they haven't, I've been to showers where the bride has stood up front and given and speech, and I've thrown a bridal shower as the maid of honor once and the bride didn't say anything at all, but did thank the guests as the arrived and left. If standing in front of everyone and thanking them is the norm, when do you do it, beginning, middle, end? The shower is completely out of my control, but I like to be prepared as much as I can, so knowing what really is my duty as the bride at the shower is helpful. All of the details with the exception of the date have been kept a secret thus far, so do I just walk in and be surprised and let those who planned it take the steering wheel for the day?
    I have never seen the bride stand up and give a speech or introduce her BMs.  The bridal shower is about you and I am sure your BMs are very nice people, but I just don't care that much to be introduced to them in a public speaking forum.

    Basically you just show up on time and be very gracious to whoever is there and whatever is done.
    Ditto this.  My shower was just this past Sunday, and since it wasn't a surprise, I got there early so I could greet my guests as they arrived.  I made sure to mingle and sit at each table to talk to the guests a little bit individually.  I also made sure to make eye contact with them when thanking them for their gifts, and I said goodbye to everyone as they left.  

    I didn't make a speech (but my passive aggressive mother did- more on that some other day ;) ) and I didn't introduce my girls, and I thought it was lovely :)  Don't stress out too much about this- enjoy your day and go with the flow!
  • Thanks, that more or less reconfirmed what I was thinking. It's that time in the wedding planning where I actually have down time and I find myself feeling like I should be doing something when there isn't a ton to do at the moment.
  • You sounds like a planner, amirite? :)

    Anyway, don't over think this. No need to introduce your BMs. No need for a "speech".

    What IS important is to ensure you open your gifts at the shower...card first and announce who the gift is from. Then take your time opening it (avoid the toddler on Christmas feel), make eye contact with the giver, verbally thank them, let people oogle the gift for a minute, make sure whoever is recording gifts wrote it down, and then move on. It should take a few minutes per gift.

    You COULD, after gift opening is done, say a blanket thank you to the hosts for hosting, to everyone for coming, for the lovely gifts and for their support of you as you start this chapter in your life. That will probably take 30 seconds, but you could call it a speech if you wanted to.
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    [Deleted User]JediElizabeth
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You sounds like a planner, amirite? :) Anyway, don't over think this. No need to introduce your BMs. No need for a "speech". What IS important is to ensure you open your gifts at the shower...card first and announce who the gift is from. Then take your time opening it (avoid the toddler on Christmas feel), make eye contact with the giver, verbally thank them, let people oogle the gift for a minute, make sure whoever is recording gifts wrote it down, and then move on. It should take a few minutes per gift. You COULD, after gift opening is done, say a blanket thank you to the hosts for hosting, to everyone for coming, for the lovely gifts and for their support of you as you start this chapter in your life. That will probably take 30 seconds, but you could call it a speech if you wanted to.

    I would agree that in my circle, this^^ is more often the norm. 
    JerseyBeachGal22
  • You sounds like a planner, amirite? :) Anyway, don't over think this. No need to introduce your BMs. No need for a "speech". What IS important is to ensure you open your gifts at the shower...card first and announce who the gift is from. Then take your time opening it (avoid the toddler on Christmas feel), make eye contact with the giver, verbally thank them, let people oogle the gift for a minute, make sure whoever is recording gifts wrote it down, and then move on. It should take a few minutes per gift. You COULD, after gift opening is done, say a blanket thank you to the hosts for hosting, to everyone for coming, for the lovely gifts and for their support of you as you start this chapter in your life. That will probably take 30 seconds, but you could call it a speech if you wanted to.


    It's that obvious? Yes, I am wrapped up in planning things to a T (but I do know that more often than not, that plan usually changes at some point during the wedding day unless I'm extremely lucky). I'll probably do the 30s thank you as you suggested. And I haven't opened gifts in front of people since I was 3-4, so fighting off that toddler urge to rip off wrapping paper is probably the hardest part of the day!



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