wearable bridesmaids gifts

Knottie08363462

Hi everyone,
I have a question on etiquette. I'm planning on giving my bridesmaids a necklace to wear as part of my gift to them. Should I give them a warning / huge hint ahead of time that they shouldn't purchase a new necklace to wear at my wedding? I don't want them to go through the trouble of looking for a necklace or making an unnecessary purchase when there's no need.

Several years ago, I was a bridesmaid and was given a set of earrings to wear as a gift the night before my friend's wedding. I know that I would have appreciated a head's up so that I wouldn't have made an unnecessary earring purchase, but I want to know what others think.

Thank you.

sparklepants41

Hello! If you want your bridesmaids to wear the necklace at the wedding, then this is not their gift, or even part of their gift. That being said, if they must wear the necklace at the wedding, you may want to give them a heads up.

Also, keep in mind that everyone has different tastes. When you get gifts for your bridal party, shop for them the way you would shop for each of their birthdays, to show them how much it means to you that they are standing by you on your wedding day.

jenna8984

 

Knottie08363462 said:

Hi everyone, I have a question on etiquette. I'm planning on giving my bridesmaids a necklace to wear as part of my gift to them. Should I give them a warning / huge hint ahead of time that they shouldn't purchase a new necklace to wear at my wedding? I don't want them to go through the trouble of looking for a necklace or making an unnecessary purchase when there's no need. Several years ago, I was a bridesmaid and was given a set of earrings to wear as a gift the night before my friend's wedding. I know that I would have appreciated a head's up so that I wouldn't have made an unnecessary earring purchase, but I want to know what others think. Thank you.

I'm trying but I don't even know how to not phrase this like a b*tch.......why on Earth would anyone buy a necklace specifically to wear to your wedding? Most people hate spending money on the dress (and shoes when applicable)- I don't see anyone rushing out to buy a nice necklace just for someone else's wedding. People generally wear what they already own or nothing.

Besides that- what @sparklepants41 said. 

AddieCake

Why do you care what jewelry they wear to the wedding?

OliveOilsMom

Knottie08363462 said:

Hi everyone, I have a question on etiquette. I'm planning on giving my bridesmaids a necklace to wear as part of my gift to them. Should I give them a warning / huge hint ahead of time that they shouldn't purchase a new necklace to wear at my wedding? I don't want them to go through the trouble of looking for a necklace or making an unnecessary purchase when there's no need. Several years ago, I was a bridesmaid and was given a set of earrings to wear as a gift the night before my friend's wedding. I know that I would have appreciated a head's up so that I wouldn't have made an unnecessary earring purchase, but I want to know what others think. Thank you.

Please don't consider the necklace as a part of their gift.  As a BM, I have been gifted jewelry before and I have never worn it again when it was something that was given to me.  I'm also highly allergic to nickel, so I prefer to wear my items to prevent the red itchy rash I get on my neck or the giant swollen mess my one ear becomes.

Take the money from the necklaces and put it towards something your BMs will like.  I did gift jewelry to my BP, but they were individual pieces that I picked out specifically for them based on their tastes.  It was not a requirement to wear them at the wedding, though my sister and niece wore theirs.  I trusted my friend's taste to wear whatever jewelry they wanted.  I can't tell you what jewelry (or shoes) most of them wore, but I can tell you about their smiling faces in my pictures, because that is what stands out to me.

Jen4948

Before you obtain gifts for your bridesmaids, why not talk to each one individually and find out what each one would be interested in receiving as a gift, whether or not it's jewelry?

Also, don't have expectations or requirements about your bridesmaids wearing any jewelry you gift them to the wedding.  Anything you give them as bridesmaids' gifts really shouldn't have any requirements but should be given free of strings attached.

[Deleted User]

I hate necklaces.  If you got me and the rest of the bridesmaids matching necklaces to wear at your wedding, I'd wear it.  And put it in the Goodwill box once I got home.  If you know me at all, and as your bridesmaid, I would hope that you do, you'd know about me and necklaces and not bother to gift me one.  I love earrings though.  And scarves, both winter and summer weight.  And craft beer, and classic novels in hard cover, and gardening tools, and heirloom vegetable seeds.

mrscomposer

adk19 said:

I hate necklaces.  If you got me and the rest of the bridesmaids matching necklaces to wear at your wedding, I'd wear it.  And put it in the Goodwill box once I got home.  If you know me at all, and as your bridesmaid, I would hope that you do, you'd know about me and necklaces and not bother to gift me one.  I love earrings though.  And scarves, both winter and summer weight.  And craft beer, and classic novels in hard cover, and gardening tools, and heirloom vegetable seeds.

I think there's a reason you and I like each others' posts so much - we might be the same person.  Except I do like necklaces, but they need to be big statement pieces that wouldn't be a generic gift from a bride.

OP, this is how your jewellery conversation should go.  If/when they bring it up and ask what jewellery they should wear, say 'wear whatever jewellery you want.'  Then, if you give them the necklaces and they want to swap it for the one they were planning on wearing, they can.  Honestly, if I buy some jewellery to wear to a wedding, it's because I want it, and will wear it again.  The fact that the bride has purchased something for me has no bearing on my future enjoyment of what I've picked out.

I gave three BMs bracelets and two necklaces.  All three BMs wore the bracelets even though I said they didn't have to (they all liked them and have worn them since).  The other two wore their own necklaces (one of which was a TARDIS pendant, so how on earth could I be mad at that?)

jacques27

If it's part of the wedding day uniform, then tell them about it.  Not because they may purchase their own jewelry (most people don't buy special jewelry to go with a dress they most likely will never wear again for a wedding that is not their own), but so they don't need to bother finding something in their own jewelry box.  But also, then this isn't their gift.  This is your gift to you because you want your bridesmaids to all look alike.

If it's not a part of the wedding day uniform, you just genuinely searched high and low taking your friend's individual preferences into consideration and that just happened to lead you to a necklace you know they would absolutely love and if they wear it on the wedding day that's fine, and if they don't that's also fine because it's first and foremost a gift to them - then you don't need to tell them about it.

If it's the latter, then I really hope you are taking their tastes into consideration and they love jewelry in that style.  And I say this as a jewelry lover (I could wear a different pendant/necklace every day of the week for...at least six months and never repeat) and despite that I am HELLA PICKY.  I have received a lot of jewelry as gifts (from people who see that I love jewelry and think it's a safe bet) that I have tossed in the goodwill box the first chance I get.  Meanwhile, I have lots of interests and hobbies that people could buy me stuff for that won't end up in the Goodwill box.

climbingsingle

I've been given jewelry a few times from a bride. And after the day of the wedding, I never wore it again. I have like 4 or 5 different pieces that just sit in my jewelry box. They are totally not my style. 

Giving your bridesmaids jewelry to wear on the day of the wedding isn't a gift. It's part of the "uniform" you're expecting them to wear. 

TrixieJess

Please don't. Personally, I don't wear jewellery, and the jewellery I do wear I'm very picky about. I would rather have a book or a bottle of wine as a bridesmaid's gift. Think about your wedding party individually rather than as a whole. What would you get each of them for Christmas or their birthday?

Belle2188

I would talk to your bridesmaids.  I didn't care what jewelry my girls wore and I wanted to get them gifts that I thought they'd like and actually use, so I told them that from the beginning.  However, I found out too late that this apparently confused the hell out of at least half of them, and a bunch bought new jewelry anyway.  Needless to say, I felt like a dick because they spent money I didn't need/want them to spend.

Anyway, the point is, I would definitely plan to get them a gift that is just for them, and not for your wedding.  However, if your bridesmaids are like mine and it's in your budget, it might be worth purchasing jewelry for them to wear as well.