Wedding Etiquette Forum

Thank you cards/favors

We're having an intimate wedding at B&B with only 8 guests. Everyone will be staying overnight at the same B&B (all rooms are booked by our guests, so we will be the only ones there). The entire ceremony and reception is planned by the B&B and all my FI and I did was pick food choices. We have no idea what it is going to look like or how it will be set up. (I did not want to plan a wedding or be stressed about every little detail, so this is exactly what I wanted) Do I need to give out favors? If so, I won't be able to place them in the reception area before hand; they would have to be stored in my room. Would it be ok for me or FI to leave and go get the favors to hand out before the reception is over? Also, should we write the thank you cards after the wedding and pass them out the next morning before everyone leaves or should we mail them from home? Not sure about the proper way to go about this so any advice is helpful.

Re: Thank you cards/favors

  • Thank you notes are for specific gifts, so you can't really write them until you receive a gift.

    I don't think anyone will miss favors. I didn't have any.

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  • Ok. I thought I was supposed to thank people for coming. If this is not the case, then no thank you cards are necessary unless I receive a gift?

  • marie2785marie2785 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited July 2015
    My 2 cents:

    1. You don't need to provide favors, so if it's a hassle, don't do it. At least 1/2 the weddings I go to now-a-days don't provide them. Maybe a welcome bag with some local goodies that they can get when they check in, or that staff leaves in their room the day they arrive would be easier  if you want to give them something. You'll just have to get to the B&B well in advance of any other guest.

    2. Do you really think you're going to want to open gifts and write thank you cards the night of your wedding???? Personally, I have other plans for my wedding night after the reception ;). So if I were you, I'd plan to send them to their house within a few weeks of the wedding. 
  • Ditto what @luckya23 said - thank you notes are for gifts, and no one will notice the lack of favor.

    If you wanted, but you are of course not required to do this, you could create a welcome bag for each guest that includes snacks/schedule of events/water/Advil/etc and tuck a handwritten note inside each that thanks each guest for traveling to attend your wedding, you are honored to have them in attendance, etc.

  • Well, the people that are coming already gave me gifts, so I don't expect to receive anything from them at the actual wedding. I was under the impression I still had to give thank you cards for people coming.

    If someone does give us another gift, I will mail it after the wedding.

  • @aparklepants41 I like your idea of a welcome bag with a handwritten note thanking them for coming! I will be arriving before anyone else so it will be easy to have the bags placed in everyone's room.
  • Favors aren't required, but I don't think anyone really expects you to have written them a thank-you note on your wedding night and had them ready the next day.  But I myself would try to have them all written and sent within six weeks of your wedding.  Later than that and people will be side-eyeing you.

  • I think small intimate weddings like this are where welcome bags are most appropriate :)  Since you only have 8 to do, you can do them up nicely.  
    Married 9.12.15
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  • Well, the people that are coming already gave me gifts, so I don't expect to receive anything from them at the actual wedding. I was under the impression I still had to give thank you cards for people coming.

    If someone does give us another gift, I will mail it after the wedding.

    The reception is the thank you to your guests.  Also when you talk to each of them you say "thanks for coming."  Nothing further is necessary.

    Did you already send them thank you notes for the gifts they gave you?

  • @maggie0829 Yes, I already mailed notes for gifts I received.

  • You can just verbally thank people for coming at the reception.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • @maggie0829 Yes, I already mailed notes for gifts I received.

    Oh okay.  Then just a verbal thank you at your reception is all that is needed.

  • The reception itself is the thank you to the guests for coming! You're feeding them and giving them drinks, and likely music and a nice atmosphere as well. 

    I recently went to a very similar wedding, a total of 15 people including the couple, all staying at the same place. They gave us all a nice welcome bag in the rooms with a note, and also an itinerary for the weekend and suggestions for other things to do during our "free time". 
  • SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Favours are never required.

    I would either do a welcome bag, or nothing at all.

    You are required to thank your guests for attending the wedding, but this is done verbally.

    Thank you cards only sent for gifts received.

    (Your wedding sounds lovely!)
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