Wedding Etiquette Forum

NWR:Cost for planning a friend's wedding

vsgalvsgal member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
edited August 2015 in Wedding Etiquette Forum

Edited to take out any information that could be traced back to the bride in case she is on here.
ROCK IS KING!!

Re: NWR:Cost for planning a friend's wedding

  • What would you normally charge someone? Do you have a contract? What sort of things is she expecting you to do? Are you going to be hiring other vendors or doing everything?

    I have a $5,000 budget too, but we only have 35 guests and an afternoon wedding. You may want to start by asking her to rethink her budget.
  • Is 5,000 for everything?? If so.. that should tell you how much or how little to charge. If you really want to get paid I'm sure you can find how much of the budget a wedding planner should cost a couple and go from there. I have no idea what it is as I did not use one. My gf decorated my hall for me because she loves to do that type of stuff. I tried paying her $200 and she wouldn't take it. I think my mom gave her a card as well no idea how much was in it but I know there was cash in it.
  • What do you typically charge someone?  Do you charge a set amount of a percentage of the overall budget?

    But I would suggest you get something in writing in regards to your services and fees.

  • vsgalvsgal member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    I will absolutely get a contract specifying services for money paid. Friend or not, that will happen. I would think it would be better to charge a percentage of the final budget. Guess I could do some research on eventvplanning fees. We did our own wedding and did not pay a planner, so I am just lost on what would be an appropiate fee. I will meet with her in a couple of weeks to nail doen some details. I will have a better idea then.

    FYI, I may delete this thread in a couple of hours because I don't know if she in on here.
    ROCK IS KING!!
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited July 2015
    I found this article that may be useful...CLICK

  • TrixieJessTrixieJess member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited July 2015
    vsgal said:

    FYI, you can't delete threads on The Knot. 
  • vsgal said:
    I will absolutely get a contract specifying services for money paid. Friend or not, that will happen. I would think it would be better to charge a percentage of the final budget. Guess I could do some research on eventvplanning fees. We did our own wedding and did not pay a planner, so I am just lost on what would be an appropiate fee. I will meet with her in a couple of weeks to nail doen some details. I will have a better idea then. FYI, I may delete this thread in a couple of hours because I don't know if she in on here.
    FYI, you can't delete threads on The Knot. 
    ......... how does everyone delete their posts then?
  • TrixieJessTrixieJess member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited July 2015

    FYI, you can't delete threads on The Knot. 
    ......... how does everyone delete their posts then?
    You can delete posts, you just cannot delete entire threads and if you are quoted, you cannot delete where you have been quoted.
    vsgal said:

    I'm just letting you know that you can delete your post, but you cannot delete an entire thread and if anyone has quoted you, that cannot be erased. I understand that you are looking for answers to your problem and we can help. I'm also letting you know that an entire thread cannot be erased, only your own posts. 
    Vsgal knows that she cannot delete an entire thread. She most likely used the wrong wording.  She was probably just going to delete her own posts and now she cannot even do that since you have decided to quote her.

    In situations like this users tend to respect the OPs request thus we don't quote what they post.

  • vsgalvsgal member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Respectfully TrixieJess, this is not a situation where I am not getting the answer I want to hear and then delete the thread in the midst of a temper tantrum. This is a situation where I wanted some insight from current and past brides, but would prefer my bride not see the post as it deals with her money. I will delete this post as I said before for the sole reason that I do not know if she is on here and could decipher her situation. I do not want her to have weird feelings because I put her situation out on an open forum in order to get some general insight for myself. I would ask that you not quote me further to protect mine and her anominity.

    Normally, I would not delete a post. I have been on the knot for a considerable amount of time and I know that DD'ing is particularly frowned upon here and for good reason. Situations like this are a bit different.
    ROCK IS KING!!
  • TrixieJessTrixieJess member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited July 2015

    I'm just letting you know that you can delete your post, but you cannot delete an entire thread and if anyone has quoted you, that cannot be erased. I understand that you are looking for answers to your problem and we can help. I'm also letting you know that an entire thread cannot be erased, only your own posts. 
  • vsgal said:

    I'm just letting you know that you can delete your post, but you cannot delete an entire thread and if anyone has quoted you, that cannot be erased. I understand that you are looking for answers to your problem and we can help. I'm also letting you know that an entire thread cannot be erased, only your own posts. 
    Vsgal knows that she cannot delete an entire thread. She most likely used the wrong wording.  She was probably just going to delete her own posts and now she cannot even do that since you have decided to quote her.

    In situations like this users tend to respect the OPs request thus we don't quote what they post.

  • Think about where you're located, too. I'm not sure a 200 person wedding is possible on a $5k budget in many areas of the US. She may be (unintentionally) setting you up to fail. You can get away with planning a party on $25 per person, but very rarely will that work for a wedding. 

    I'd have a conversation with her on what she expects in the wedding, and what she expects to pay before accepting a position like that. If she's good with a backyard DIY or church & dessert type event, then talk with her about money. 

    Another thought: Was she planning on paying you, or did she want you to do this as your gift to her because she knows you're good at this kind of stuff and she isn't - particularly because her budget is so tight? There may be a communication issue.

  • vsgal said:

    I'm just letting you know that you can delete your post, but you cannot delete an entire thread and if anyone has quoted you, that cannot be erased. I understand that you are looking for answers to your problem and we can help. I'm also letting you know that an entire thread cannot be erased, only your own posts. 
    Vsgal knows that she cannot delete an entire thread. She most likely used the wrong wording.  She was probably just going to delete her own posts and now she cannot even do that since you have decided to quote her.

    In situations like this users tend to respect the OPs request thus we don't quote what they post.
    I just erased her quotes, I just wanted her to know that the difference between threads and posts. There are forums where you can delete entire threads if you want to. Some people do post not realising that they can't do that, and want their entire thread erased.
  • vsgalvsgal member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited July 2015
    Knottie258, when she initially asked, I hesitated to say yes. And then she offered to pay me. Si this is not a gift. I will plan a birthday party as a gift, but a wedding is a whole different situation. Her budget is small and her guest list as large, so we're just going to get really creative. Luckily the initial conversations with her have been that she wants something very low key and very casual. And if I don't think it's doable for the money that she wants to spend vs what she wants, I'll just be very upfront with her. Maggie, I like the idea of a percentage that was addresses in the article. That may be the best way to go. More budget will probably create more work. I will make sure the contract is very clear on that. Trixie, thank you for unquoating me. I understand you making sure that the posting etiquette is followed in the forums. It is very exasperating to see posts disappear because they do not help anyone if thay are removed, especially if the OP deletes because they are not getting backed for a usually heinous idea. I know the entire post cannot go, but my OP can go in order to protect myself and my bride. Thanks for the insight ladies. I think I have a more clear idea of how to handle this.
    ROCK IS KING!!
  • vsgalvsgal member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    I am knotting on the phone, so the paragraphs are all wonky! Sorry
    ROCK IS KING!!
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