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Pre-wedding Parties

Groom make an appearance at bridal shower?

Myself and my fiance live about 3.5 hours from where I grew up, which is where my bridal shower will be held. I'll be up there that weekend also for my bachelorette party, and my shower is the next day. Often at showers, I've noticed the groom kind of pop in at the end to say hi, thank people, and help carry gifts, etc. I wasn't sure if this is mandatory etiquette-wise or just something grooms do to say hi to people. I'm wondering if mine should make this long drive to pop in to the shower for a half hour or if it's okay for him to miss it completely. He obviously isn't coming up with me for whole weekend or he'd be sitting alone at my mom's house while we're at my bachelorette. Of his family, only his mom and his sister will be there anyway since much of his family lives even further away. Thoughts? 

Re: Groom make an appearance at bridal shower?

  • anniecm5 said:
    Myself and my fiance live about 3.5 hours from where I grew up, which is where my bridal shower will be held. I'll be up there that weekend also for my bachelorette party, and my shower is the next day. Often at showers, I've noticed the groom kind of pop in at the end to say hi, thank people, and help carry gifts, etc. I wasn't sure if this is mandatory etiquette-wise or just something grooms do to say hi to people. I'm wondering if mine should make this long drive to pop in to the shower for a half hour or if it's okay for him to miss it completely. He obviously isn't coming up with me for whole weekend or he'd be sitting alone at my mom's house while we're at my bachelorette. Of his family, only his mom and his sister will be there anyway since much of his family lives even further away. Thoughts? 
    I think it would be perfectly fine for your FI to not stop by.
    image
  • It's not mandatory.
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    My shower was OOT, DH was back where we lived.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    Heffalump
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    No, it's not mandatory. 
                
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    There is no etiquette or mandate that dictates the groom attending a bridal shower.

    For my DD, her FI did attend the shower once gift opening began.  Many of his family attended this shower, including some OOT relatives, and it was a nice opportunity for him to see them and vice versa.  When I hosted a shower for my DIL, my son spent the afternoon with his dad, FFIL, and some of the other "menfolk".  He returned at the tail end of the shower in time to say a few quick "hello's" and help pack the car.

    I personally think this is an example of "to each, his own" philosophy.
    [Deleted User]
  • lyndausvi said:
    My shower was OOT, DH was back where we lived.
    This.  I've seen it done when the groom is local, I've also seen it not done when the groom is local.  DH was in grad school when I had my OOT shower and had a ton of work to do, so he skipped it and all was well.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I've only ever been to one shower where the groom was there, and it was a couples shower. When one of my bridesmaids got married, her then-fiancé did pop in to say hi at the restaurant we were at for her bachelorette party.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Not mandatory at all.

    When my wife had her bridal shower it was 1.5 hours away at her mom's house so I dropped her off, said a quick hello to her family and the bridesmaids who were setting up and then did some other errands for the afternoon.  Came back at the end to help pack the car and say hello to some of the other guests.  In your situation with it being a 3+ hour drive I dont think he needs to come and no one should be offended if he doesn't.
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