Destination Weddings

Guest Ice-Breaker

My FI and I are having a DW at Disney World, and expecting about 125 guests.  The resort already does a lot for our guests, and handles almost everything for us.

We recently went to my cousin's wedding, where my FI got so frustrated with meeting everyone that he eventually shut down.  The following weekend, we went to his cousin's wedding where I was the one meeting distant cousins.  The two experiences made me wish I had written a family tree for him, and he had done the same for me.

Since we are having a DW, most of our guests will be together for several events.  My idea was to create little mini photobooks of all of our guests with a little mini-bio about their connection to my FI and I.  I would do one per family and have it included in their check-in packet.  I know it is a bit of work, but I will have several weeks off from work for Christmas, and could easily get it done then.  I feel that because it is a DW, I need to make an extra effort to make everyone more comfortable.

My sister said it was creepy, and FI said too much of an expense (about $9 per book, needing 40, it costs less than the postage for all of the invite stuff). 

What are your thoughts? 
Is that a cool ice-breaker or creepy tool for all of the guests?

Re: Guest Ice-Breaker

  • labrolabro Hotlanta
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    This is weird. I can't think of a single wedding I've ever attended where I knew everyone, or had an idea of who they were, or anything and it wasn't an issue. And the extra expense is pretty silly.

    Most of the OOT weddings I've gone to I usually try to arrive at least the Friday before and for most of them, the bride and groom have said "For everyone in town, we'll be at x bar Friday nigh at 8" and I usually go. I've always found it to be pretty great opportunity to make new friends, get to know people, etc. It's NBD. I guess I'm generally an outgoing person though and have no issue with saying hi to strangers and asking them about how they know the couple getting married.

    Instead of the books, I think it would be nice of you to either 1. Host something or 2. Do like above and let everyone know where you'll be and that they are free to meet up with you there. That way it's a more casual and comfortable setting for people to meet others who are attending the wedding if they want to, and just go out and be social. If someone handed me a "family tree" kind of book I'd think it was super strange.



  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
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    Oh, please no. Nobody wants to do homework for your wedding.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    Don't do this.

    Many people don't like ice breakers. They should not be necessary for a wedding.

    When accepting wedding invitations, I think most people are aware that many of the others at the wedding will be strangers.
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    I'm on the creepy side.


    Heart is in the right place, but not really in execution.   

    I've been with my husband for 10 years now.  He still doesn't know my family tree.  He gets so confused.    He knows 2 of my aunts, so I make a few connections through that.  But they only account for 7 of my 24 first cousins.

    Now if you want a family tree for your FI, then go for it.  But there is no need for your family to know his family tree or vise versa.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl The Cold North
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    Meh.  I'd take a 3 second flip through it and never look at it again.  I don't think it's necessary. 
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  • Definitely creepy and unnecessary, sorry. :(

    I always hated ice breakers. I had to do them throughout college and they were the worst.


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  • jacques27jacques27
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments 5 Answers
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    edited August 2015
    Creepy.

    And truthfully, I usually don't want to get to know every single person.  I want to mingle with the people I do know and I'll make polite chit-chat with the people at my table or in line at the buffet or people who seem interesting as I'm eavesdropping on other people's conversations.  And then after the few hours are up, if I'm at DisneyWorld, chances are I want to go off and have some fun at one of the parks or resorts.  I don't need to become BFFs with all 124 other people there, nor do I want to spend my time networking with all of them like I'm at a business conference.

    ETA:  Where you CAN be of some use is if you have any truly single people there who won't know ANYONE, then assuming you're making a seating chart for your reception, put some care and effort into seating them at a table with people you think they'll enjoy talking to. My friend put great thought and care into where she seated me since the only people I knew at her wedding were her and a few of the bridesmaids (she actually told me after the fact that she purposely seated me next to them because she thought we'd get along, so I know it wasn't just happenstance).  I had a really nice time chatting with my tablemates.  I did not need her to give me a biography on every single guest.
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  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird Bawlmer
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
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    I also think your heart's in the right place. That said, This would remind me of Miranda Priestly's cheat sheet to "Who's Who of Fashion Society" for her assistants to memorize. So I'd probably get a little chuckle over it, glance at it, get freaked out because I'd worry there's some sort of game I need to get ready for, and then stay up all night studying it.
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    My FI and I are having a DW at Disney World, and expecting about 125 guests.  The resort already does a lot for our guests, and handles almost everything for us.

    We recently went to my cousin's wedding, where my FI got so frustrated with meeting everyone that he eventually shut down.  The following weekend, we went to his cousin's wedding where I was the one meeting distant cousins.  The two experiences made me wish I had written a family tree for him, and he had done the same for me.

    Since we are having a DW, most of our guests will be together for several events.  My idea was to create little mini photobooks of all of our guests with a little mini-bio about their connection to my FI and I.  I would do one per family and have it included in their check-in packet.  I know it is a bit of work, but I will have several weeks off from work for Christmas, and could easily get it done then.  I feel that because it is a DW, I need to make an extra effort to make everyone more comfortable.

    My sister said it was creepy, and FI said too much of an expense (about $9 per book, needing 40, it costs less than the postage for all of the invite stuff). 

    What are your thoughts? 
    Is that a cool ice-breaker or creepy tool for all of the guests?
    Creepy and inappropriate.  I would be very much unhappy about being included in a photobook with a bio to be given out to strangers. 



    HeffalumpYogaSandylc07
  • Erikan73Erikan73
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    edited August 2015

    Don't do this for all your guests. But maybe do it for you & FI so that it will be easier for him when meeting people. Maybe share little favorite memories of that family member. It may help him to associate the name with the person. So when he meets Aunt Sue he may go "Julie tells me you make the best sugar cookies" Then maybe he can do the same for you with photos of his family. If you want to do a book for you & FI that would be fine, then he can reference back to it for a refresher before the next big family event.

  • I would not want to be included in the book. I also wouldn't read it - so you wasted the $9 on me. Even if someone does read it, they're not going to remember everything and probably won't make the connections when they meet that person.
  • I don't understand getting frustrated meeting new people at a wedding. You meet them, shake their hand, and promptly forget their name. Lather, rinse, repeat, chug a beer.

    AddieCakethespeshulestsnowflakeadk19lc07
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