Divorced parents on my side, still together on groom's

BlizzardWolf

Hi there, everyone!

So pardon me if this has already been repeated a million times, but I had a hard time finding the answer to my specific scenario.

My parents are divorced. My mother is remarried, and my father is single. My mother and father are on good terms, so there is no animosity between them.

My fiance's parents are still married.

Now, as far as etiquette goes, how does the reception work? I can do the father-daughter dance without an issue, but aren't there other dances and other things that are parent-specific? I don't want to leave my dad out - he's been there for me for everything! The only thing I'm concerned about is making sure my dad has a good time and doesn't feel like he's missed something because he's single.

How can I make sure he is given all the attention he deserves during both the ceremony and reception?

Thanks in advance!!

-Jessica

OliveOilsMom

BlizzardWolf said:

Hi there, everyone!

So pardon me if this has already been repeated a million times, but I had a hard time finding the answer to my specific scenario.

My parents are divorced. My mother is remarried, and my father is single. My mother and father are on good terms, so there is no animosity between them.

My fiance's parents are still married.

Now, as far as etiquette goes, how does the reception work? I can do the father-daughter dance without an issue, but aren't there other dances and other things that are parent-specific? I don't want to leave my dad out - he's been there for me for everything! The only thing I'm concerned about is making sure my dad has a good time and doesn't feel like he's missed something because he's single.

How can I make sure he is given all the attention he deserves during both the ceremony and reception?

Thanks in advance!!

-Jessica

First, for internet safety and all.  Remove your siggy.  Those are some very identifying bits of information.

Second, I don't think there is anything extra you need to do for your dad.  Since your parents are on speaking/friendly terms, then they should be fine to sit in the front row of your ceremony together.  For the reception, have your dad host his own table and ask him who he would like seated there with him.  If you think he might be uncomfortable attending alone, then give him a plus one. 

You should try to limit your spotlight dances to just the first dance, father-daughter, and mother-son.  It gets to be a bit cumbersome to have endless spotlight dances.  I have only seen the WP dance once and it left my poor widowed MIL without a dance partner, while the bride's parents danced in the WP dance too.  So I jumped in with MIL. 

[Deleted User]

There is no reason you can't do a father/daughter dance if you want at your reception. Also if it is your dad that you want to escort you down the isle that is fine too. Or you can have both of your parents escort you down the isle (assuming the isle is wide enough). Don't let the marital status of any of the parents affect how you plan anything. The only thing it should affect is if your mom & dad don't get along, you may want to sit them at different sides of the room at the reception.

JaxInBlue

Hi there!  This was very similar to my situation.  My parents are divorced (both remarried though) and DH's parents are still together.  I agree with PPs.  You should still make the decisions that are best for you and your relationship with your parents. If you want to do a father-daughter dance, do that. (But definitely consider PP's advice to limit those spotlight dances; they become boring for guests - three max: you and dad, you and spouse, spouse and parent/special person.) One, both or neither parent(s) can escort you down the aisle.  

You could also ask you dad if he wants to bring a guest - not saying that he needs a date, but if he has a friend you wouldn't necessarily invite but whose company he would enjoy for this, I'd consider giving him that "plus one."

You might want to make sure you get a special photo with each of your parents, just the two of you, in addition to group shots.

You could also invite each parent group to host their own table at the reception so that they can have some choice of who they sit with - giving them the best chance to enjoy the reception once your attention is diverted to your new spouse and your other guests.

mollybarker11

BlizzardWolf said:

I can do the father-daughter dance without an issue, but aren't there other dances and other things that are parent-specific? I don't want to leave my dad out - he's been there for me for everything! The only thing I'm concerned about is making sure my dad has a good time and doesn't feel like he's missed something because he's single.

I have never heard of any other parent-specific dances. As pps suggested, limit any special dances to your & FH's first dance, father-daughter dance, and mother-son dance. I think any more than that would be boring for the rest of the guests anyway!

My only other suggestion is that if your dad brings a new girlfriend or date, he may feel uncomfortable if he's caught in one of those dances where the DJ tells couples to get off the floor if they've been together less than X amount of time. Other than that I don't think there would be anything excluding a single guest.

And as for making sure he's given attention, just do the regular things: seat him in the front row at the ceremony and mention him in your toast at the reception (along with your mom & step-dad, of course, assuming you're also on good terms with them).

BlizzardWolf

Hi everyone!

Thank you so much for all of the insight. This has been a huge relief for me; I don't know much about wedding planning, so I'm glad to know I don't have to worry about my dad!

I think I will check with my fiancé and make sure he is all right with only three dances. I'm sure he will be - and I'll stress to the DJ not to mistake my mom and dad for still being married. I've heard horror stories!

I think I'm going to have my mom and her husband go into the processional together, then have dad with me. I don't know mom's husband too terribly well - I've only met him twice, but I like him. My parents divorced about 20 years ago and they get along pretty well now. It's actually kind of nice.

Thanks again everyone! You guys rock!