Cutting Down Our Guest List

Knottie84835214

After meeting with our Wedding Production Director yesterday, he mentioned that we may need to shave off about 20 people on our guest list. We are spending alot on the DJ services, special effect, lighting, and etc. We want a pretty decent sized dance floor. But in order for us to have room in our venue, we need to remove people from our invitation list. We are sending wedding invitations next week but we sent out Save The Dates a few months ago. Would it be wrong if we don't send out wedding invitations to some people who received our Save The Dates? How should I handle this? Please help...

luckya23

Have a smaller dance floor. 

You would really cut people to have a bigger dance floor?? Are you having some sort of choreographed dance? 

Yes, it would be very wrong.

novella1186

Knottie84835214 said:

After meeting with our Wedding Production Director yesterday, he mentioned that we may need to shave off about 20 people on our guest list. We are spending alot on the DJ services, special effect, lighting, and etc. We want a pretty decent sized dance floor. But in order for us to have room in our venue, we need to remove people from our invitation list. We are sending wedding invitations next week but we sent out Save The Dates a few months ago. Would it be wrong if we don't send out wedding invitations to some people who received our Save The Dates? How should I handle this? Please help...

What is a Wedding Production Director??? 

Yes it is EXTREMELY rude to send someone an STD and then not send an invite to the wedding. You basically already told them they were invited and now you're uninviting them. 

My H and I were invited to a wedding last month and then un-invited at the last minute due to space restrictions. We were so hurt that we're no longer friends with that couple. 

Pick a different venue or rearrange your plans to accommodate all your guests. 

JediElizabeth

Is there anyone on your guest list that you didn't send an STD to? Those are the ones you should cut first, IF your dance floor is really more important to you than your guests. 

Or you could just let them know that your number one priority is your dance floor, and see how many RSVP no after hearing that.

OliveOilsMom

Tell your Wedding Production Director (what is that anyway), that you are paying him/her to figure out the logistics of your wedding, so he/she needs to find out how to keep your current guest list and the dance floor. 

This should not include removing tables from the floor after dinner, as that is very rude to the people who were sitting there.  Where would they go?  It should also not include cutting guests off your guest list.  You sent STDs, it would now be very rude to not send invitations to those people.  They are saving your date in anticipation of the forthcoming invitation.

Now, if you happen to have 20 people RSVP no, then your problem would be solved.  But do not uninvite anyone.

Jen4948

Yes, it would be very rude to cut from your guest list anyone you already sent an invitation to. I think you should tell your Wedding Production Director that cutting your guest list is not an option and it's up to him/her to figure out how to set up the dance floor with the number of guests you have already.

AddieCake

Of course that would be rude. Would you like to be told there's a party coming that you will be invited to and then not get invited after all because the dance floor was too big?

pinkcow13

Really rude. Your wedding production designer is also not very good at their job. It's their job to figure out how this will work given your current list. I mean, cuz those 20 people if you want, but realize you're probably cutting them out of your life after doing so.

MyNameIsNot

This must be MUD.  Surely there aren't people in real life who actually care more about a dance floor than about people. 

ShesSoCold

MyNameIsNot said:

This must be MUD.  Surely there aren't people in real life who actually care more about a dance floor than about people. 

But the LIGHTING! They're spending so much on special effects! Totes more important than 20 people!

lyndausvi

Can we say Kim Kardashian?    Remember she had to cut people who already received invites because of the production equipment?

I don't care how good of a production director you are, you can only do as much as the space allows.    

 The OP needs to cut back on special effects and lighting.  NOT cut people who already received STDs and/or remove tables.

Can you imagine being booted for special effects equipment?  If that happened to me I would no longer be friends with you.    

zitiqueen

If you do end up not sending invites to people who received STDs (as I suspect you will), you should at least have the balls to call them on the phone or meet with them face-to-face and explain that they are no longer invited because a dance floor is more important to you than they are. No texting, no emails. 

MGP

novella1186 said:

What is a Wedding Production Director??? 

It sounds like a wedding planner that caters to the most special-est of snowflakes and encourages things like choreographed dances (hence the big dance floor), uninviting (which means he supports B-listing too), and I am sure a plethora of other things like personal attendants, cash registries, and cash bars.

I have no time today for this bullshit.  And not enough wine.

bluebell42

Knottie84835214 said:

After meeting with our Wedding Production Director yesterday, he mentioned that we may need to shave off about 20 people on our guest list. We are spending alot on the DJ services, special effect, lighting, and etc. We want a pretty decent sized dance floor. But in order for us to have room in our venue, we need to remove people from our invitation list. We are sending wedding invitations next week but we sent out Save The Dates a few months ago. Would it be wrong if we don't send out wedding invitations to some people who received our Save The Dates? How should I handle this? Please help...

I'm curious what kind of special effects you're having at this wedding.  Will there be explosions?  Lasers?  A dancing hologram of Michael Jackson for when the DJ plays Thriller?

novella1186

ShesSoCold said:

MyNameIsNot said:

This must be MUD.  Surely there aren't people in real life who actually care more about a dance floor than about people. 

But the LIGHTING! They're spending so much on special effects! Totes more important than 20 people!

Weird, the thing that made my wedding great (besides getting to marry the love of my life) was having all my closest friends and relatives there to celebrate. We didn't have lazers and special lighting and all that bullshit since we're not an 80s rock concert. Guess I did it wrong. Does this mean I get a re-do? 

lyndausvi

novella1186 said:

ShesSoCold said:

MyNameIsNot said:

This must be MUD.  Surely there aren't people in real life who actually care more about a dance floor than about people. 

But the LIGHTING! They're spending so much on special effects! Totes more important than 20 people!

Weird, the thing that made my wedding great (besides getting to marry the love of my life) was having all my closest friends and relatives there to celebrate. We didn't have lazers and special lighting and all that bullshit since we're not an 80s rock concert. Guess I did it wrong. Does this mean I get a re-do? 

yep. It's all about priorites.  Clearly you didn't do it right.

AddieCake

Knottie25841876 said:

Is there anyone on your guest list that you didn't send an STD to? Those are the ones you should cut first, IF your dance floor is really more important to you than your guests. 

Or you could just let them know that your number one priority is your dance floor, and see how many RSVP no after hearing that.

I like you. Please change your username and stick around, @Knottie25841876

db1984

Watch where you walk, people.  My eyes rolled right out of my head.

CMGragain

This is how you plan a proper wedding:

1.  Budget is set.
2.  Guest list is written.
3.  Officiant is hired or priest is consulted.
4.  NOW you arrange the ceremony and reception!

Why didn't you find a venue that would fit your budget and your guest list?  This is entirely your fault.  No, you can't cut ANY guests that were sent an STD.

[Deleted User]

Also, don't fall for the line where they suggest you remove tables and chairs after dinner to make the dance floor bigger.  You must have seats for everyone at all times.  And when I have seen this done before, some guests weren't even allowed to finish their meals due to the moving of their tables.

banana468

My anniversary was yesterday.   Do you know how much the wedding day itself matters years later?   It's such a tiny portion of your marriage itself.  And I don't have a lot of respect for people who put superficial things ahead of people in the way they start their union.   Your lighting and dance floor are things that you should have considered before you figured out your guest list.

This isn't a play with a cast and an audience.   This is your wedding.   And the people you invite are theoretically people that you want there.   Don't treat them as less important than lighting.   

novella1186

varner2b2015 said:

Also, don't fall for the line where they suggest you remove tables and chairs after dinner to make the dance floor bigger.  You must have seats for everyone at all times.  And when I have seen this done before, some guests weren't even allowed to finish their meals due to the moving of their tables.

Yep, this happened to us at a wedding a couple years ago. We were pissed, and we left soon after. So did most of the other guests. Before dancing even started. 

MGP

banana468 said:

My anniversary was yesterday.

This isn't a play with a cast and an audience.   This is your wedding.   And the people you invite are theoretically people that you want there.   Don't treat them as less important than lighting.   

I think OP's Wedding Production Designer would disagree with you.

And happy anniversary!

thisismynickname2

Knottie84835214 said: After meeting with our Wedding Production Director yesterday, he mentioned that we may need to shave off about 20 people on our guest list. We are spending alot on the DJ services, special effect, lighting, and etc. We want a pretty decent sized dance floor. But in order for us to have room in our venue, we need to remove people from our invitation list. We are sending wedding invitations next week but we sent out Save The Dates a few months ago. Would it be wrong if we don't send out wedding invitations to some people who received our Save The Dates? How should I handle this? Please help...
--------------------------------EDIT BOXES------------------------- Let me share a little story. My friend planned a wedding where she was told she fit invite 250 people in the venue comfortably. She sent STDs to everyone (mistake #1- just do VIPs and those that have to travel). The venue ended up changing its layout and told her that they couldn't fit more than 200 for the sit-down meal she was planning (mistake #2- enforce your contracts or walk). She turned into the bride that freaked out over every Yes reply. The venue talked her into a cocktail reception over the dinner hour, assuring her that it "works great and not everyone needs a seat!" (mistake #3!!!!). Apparently a lot of people told them to their face, both at their reception and after the event, that they were shocked they didn't have enough seats for everyone. The couple truly believes there was nothing they could do about it and let the criticism roll of their backs. And now that I read your message, you know what occurs to me? They could have fit their remaining guests at tables by downsizing the dance floor. 

Moral of the story? You're currently fucking up. Everyone who gets an STD gets an invite. Your wedding planner needs to find a way to fit everyone comfortably. 

And you know what? If your lighting is actually more important to you than 20 people on your guest list, why the heck are you inviting those 20 people anyway? Seriously?

PrettyGirlLost

Knottie84835214 said:

After meeting with our Wedding Production Director Who in the hell is this?  Is he producing your wedding, like a theatrical performance?  yesterday, he mentioned that we may need to shave off about 20 people on our guest list. We are spending alot on the DJ services, special effect, lighting, and etc.   Um, you are getting married, not producing a Michael Bay film. . . cut the special effects and lighting, not your guests!  I can't imagine prioritizing lighting over having people I love at my reception ><  We want a pretty decent sized dance floor. But in order for us to have room in our venue, we need to remove people from our invitation list.   Make the dance floor smaller or can you move/remove the head table/WP tables to make room for the dance floor?  Can you push tables closer together after dinner?  We are sending wedding invitations next week but we sent out Save The Dates a few months ago. Would it be wrong if we don't send out wedding invitations to some people who received our Save The Dates? Yes, it would be horribly, horribly rude to do that.  How should I handle this?  You stop prioritizing a dance floor and special effects over your beloved guests and you come to grips with the fact that you need to downsize your dance floor vision. . . and then you do it.  Please help...