I married my husband on August 7, 2010. I am hoping that my few ups and downs will help those who are now planning. My friend just asked me to be a bridesmaid, so it made me remember this site and how I never came back to give my two cents. Take this with a grain of salt, or the whole shaker, however you see fit!
*Dress - I made the mistake of picking out a dress before I had a venue. I wanted to dress shop with my mom, who I now live 16 hours away from. I bought the dress with her before I knew where we were planning on having the wedding. Our first venue fell through and our ceremony ended up being outside in North Carolina in August. It was a warm 96 degrees that day. My dress was satin with english netting and very much a ball gown. I ADORE my dress, but I would have picked something different had I known I would be sweating through my $100 in hair and make-up because of the layers and heat.
*Hair - I was smart enough to do a trial run with both my hair and makeup for a bridal portrait session. It was also my first indicator that I had made a near disasterous mistake with my ball gown dress. BUT I received a thousand compliments that night, so I still declare it a win.
*Ceremony - I made my own programs, which I got the idea from another bride here at the Knot. I put a word find on the back page with our names, etc and everyone loved it. It gave them something to do while waiting for the festivities to start. My DJ was supposed to supply a mic to the officiant (who happened to be his wife). Somewhere along the way this was forgotten, but it was too little too late when my husband and I realized. My parents were in the front row about 4 feet from us and couldn't hear her because she was so soft spoken. Out of the 3 cameras recording us, not one caught the whole ceremony. Mortified that our ceremony is basically just a moving picture.
*Photographer - YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR. I picked someone who was "up and coming" which was recommended by many budget brides. I wish I would have spent the $1200 for just a few hours with a real professional. I received CDs with our pictures and they were barely edited. I never received my prints or my photobook. Not surprisingly, I can no longer find her. But she did post photos of a wedding she did the day after mine and those were super. She never posted any of mine.
*Venue - A week before my wedding my venue called to say they had fired the chef, who I had done all of my coordinating with. I had to make an emergency trip there to give all of the details to the manager who in turn had to quickly hire a new chef to supply my event. On the very up side, because of the distress they discounted every plate $5 and saved us a buttload. And the food was plentiful and great. I was too excited and nervous to eat though, so I barely managed to eat anything.
*The details - I forgot the toasting glasses in my car. In the parking lot at the hotel. Which thankfully was right next door. I sent a bridesmaid sprinting after them.
*Cake - Got a great deal on my wedding cake. Again, price seems to make a difference in quality. The blue on the cake was 10 shades lighter than the aqua color we had everywhere else. Fortunately everyone thought it was on purpose. And the cake tasted so darn good that no one noticed the outside, only wondered how they could get more. Again, she threw in the grooms cake for free the week before the wedding. Everyone thought the fish she made was adorable.
*SHOES - I put this in caps because I think it's the biggest mistake a bride can make other than dress. I say this because things may be missing on your day but only you will actually know. But you will be hard pressed to ignore achy feet for hours on end. I chose beautiful white stilletto heels. I even broke them in and put some gel insoles in them. The ground was still soggy on the day of the wedding and while walking out my feet started to slip into the ground. In turn my dress started to curl under my feet. My dad was nervous and walking too fast and about fell on my face. Yeah. In that moment I would have given my right arm to have bought the sneaker platform shoes I had saw online that were 3.5 inches tall (just the height I needed for my dress). After the pictures were done (outside), I had spent so long on my toes to keep my heels from sinking in the ground that my feet were throbbing. I ended up in flip flops and having to carry my dress.
*Favors - Other than programs, these were my shining star. I made them all myself. I bought boxes from Michaels, stamped the lid of each with "Thank You" in blue ink, glued a blue ribbon around the box, and then put a sign on the box that said "Hugs & Kisses, From the New Mr. & Mrs.". Inside each box I put a lottery ticket and Hershey's hugs and kisses. I didn't hear that anyone hit the jackpot unfortunately. But everyone loved the possibility! And they couldn't believe they were all homemade.
*Bridesmaid - Out of my MoH and 2 bridesmaid I still speak to just one bridesmaid. My MoH chose my wedding night to take off and cheat on her husband with an usher. She later told me that they were already in the process of getting a divorce. One that only she wanted, not him. He actually called me on the day of to wish me the best (he couldn't be there as he's a pilot and couldn't get the time off). I never forgave her for breaking the sanctity of her own marriage on the day of mine.
On a positive note - I had my husband help pick out the dresses. He didn't want to, but in the end was glad he did. He didn't like the ones we picked, but we all agreed on the one he picked. And it made it easier to say "final decision" with the both of us standing there.
*Random - I skipped a receiving line and everyone seemed grateful. No awkward handshakes with people you barely know. My parents opted for open bar, but it didn't start until after dinner. People seemed to be okay with this. It allowed everyone to get some food in them before boozing it up. It also allowed my husband and I to join in the open bar, which was for only one hour (not that we actually had to pay for drinks ourselves, but you get the idea). I opted to have kids at the wedding and have not regretted it one bit. Our venue let us serve a kids menu (chicken fingers and fries) at a reduced price. All we had to do was ask. When in doubt, ask. You'd be surprised what people are willing to do, discount, give away.
So my final advice? Pick a date, pick a venue, pick colors, pick vendors. Don't always go by cheapest when it comes to vendors. Price sometimes reflects mastery.