Grooms family lacks manners

My wedding is planned for this next year in April and invitations will be ordered soon. My husband to be has a few members of his family who seem to really lack manners or any kind of etiquette. The first issue is they wear jeans for everything, including past weddings and that to me is so rude and disrespectful. I am thinking about putting something in the invitation about a "dress code" but not sure how to do it. It is not a formal wedding but I surely do not want anyone showing up in t-shirts and jeans. The second issue is how to handle the unruly children that will also be showing up? The last wedding they attended had to children completely out of control and wreaking havoc at the reception and annoying other guests. Any ideas on how to handle the "darlings"? 
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