Walking down aisle alone...

Bruinslove

So I never pictured myself walking down the aisle with my dad or my parents or anyone really. I actually never even pictured myself having a traditional wedding. But now I am and i have some decisions to make. Both my parents are in my life, I do get along with my dad to a point but we are not really close. My question is more along the lines of is it rude to walk down alone? 

KittenMittens84

No it's not rude. If you don't want to walk down with him you are not required to. Has your dad mentioned anything about walking you down? Or have you said anything to him to possibly make him think that he would be?

Jen4948

There's no requirement that your father or anyone escort you.  If you think walking alone is appropriate, then do that.

[Deleted User]

Bruinslove said:

So I never pictured myself walking down the aisle with my dad or my parents or anyone really. I actually never even pictured myself having a traditional wedding. But now I am and i have some decisions to make. Both my parents are in my life, I do get along with my dad to a point but we are not really close. My question is more along the lines of is it rude to walk down alone? 

You can walk alone.  You can allow both your parents to escort you.  You can walk with your mother OR your father OR your brother or your MOH or uncle or mail carrier.  You and your Fiance can walk down the aisle together.  You can decide not to have an aisle at all.

CMGragain

You can walk alone, or not.  It is completely up to you.  I do have one important question, though.  How high are your heels?  I have seen as bride trip and fall on her way down the aisle.  She ripped her dress doing it, too.   An escort is there to give you a steady arm to lean on, if needed.

snowywinter

I'm going to play Devil's advocate here and say that while you certainly can walk alone, I think you should talk to your father about it. While for you, you never pictured it, perhaps your father has. He might not have shown it, but he might have pictured your wedding day your entire life and been looking forward to walking you down the aisle. So unless you feel strongly about him not walking you down the aisle, I would talk to him and consider including him. It will be a special memory for both of you.

Jen4948

snowywinter said:

I'm going to play Devil's advocate here and say that while you certainly can walk alone, I think you should talk to your father about it. While for you, you never pictured it, perhaps your father has. He might not have shown it, but he might have pictured your wedding day your entire life and been looking forward to walking you down the aisle. So unless you feel strongly about him not walking you down the aisle, I would talk to him and consider including him. It will be a special memory for both of you.

I strongly disagree.

Contributing the sperm that created a person doesn't entitle a man to escort her at her wedding-especially if he does not have a close relationship with his daughter.

He should only be approached about escorting her if that's what she really wants.

snowywinter

Jen4948 said:

snowywinter said:

I'm going to play Devil's advocate here and say that while you certainly can walk alone, I think you should talk to your father about it. While for you, you never pictured it, perhaps your father has. He might not have shown it, but he might have pictured your wedding day your entire life and been looking forward to walking you down the aisle. So unless you feel strongly about him not walking you down the aisle, I would talk to him and consider including him. It will be a special memory for both of you.

I strongly disagree.

Contributing the sperm that created a person doesn't entitle a man to escort her at her wedding-especially if he does not have a close relationship with his daughter.

He should only be approached about escorting her if that's what she really wants.

I didn't say it entitled him and I never said she has to do it. I specifically said that she can walk alone. I simply advised that if she doesn't feel strongly against it, then maybe consider including him in the decision.

Jen4948

snowywinter said:

Jen4948 said:

snowywinter said:

I'm going to play Devil's advocate here and say that while you certainly can walk alone, I think you should talk to your father about it. While for you, you never pictured it, perhaps your father has. He might not have shown it, but he might have pictured your wedding day your entire life and been looking forward to walking you down the aisle. So unless you feel strongly about him not walking you down the aisle, I would talk to him and consider including him. It will be a special memory for both of you.

I strongly disagree.

Contributing the sperm that created a person doesn't entitle a man to escort her at her wedding-especially if he does not have a close relationship with his daughter.

He should only be approached about escorting her if that's what she really wants.-

I didn't say it entitled him and I never said she has to do it. I specifically said that she can walk alone. I simply advised that if she doesn't feel strongly against it, then maybe consider including him in the decision.

I still disagree.  The only person who has a say in the decision is her, whether she feels strongly about it or not. 

snowywinter

Jen4948 said:

snowywinter said:

Jen4948 said:

snowywinter said:

I'm going to play Devil's advocate here and say that while you certainly can walk alone, I think you should talk to your father about it. While for you, you never pictured it, perhaps your father has. He might not have shown it, but he might have pictured your wedding day your entire life and been looking forward to walking you down the aisle. So unless you feel strongly about him not walking you down the aisle, I would talk to him and consider including him. It will be a special memory for both of you.

I strongly disagree.

Contributing the sperm that created a person doesn't entitle a man to escort her at her wedding-especially if he does not have a close relationship with his daughter.

He should only be approached about escorting her if that's what she really wants.-

I didn't say it entitled him and I never said she has to do it. I specifically said that she can walk alone. I simply advised that if she doesn't feel strongly against it, then maybe consider including him in the decision.

I still disagree.  The only person who has a say in the decision is her, whether she feels strongly about it or not. 

You can disagree. I still stand by what I said.

snowywinter

snowywinter said:

Jen4948 said:

snowywinter said:

Jen4948 said:

snowywinter said:
I'm going to play Devil's advocate here and saythat while you certainly can walk alone, I think you should talk to your father about it. While for you, you never pictured it, perhaps yourfather has. He might not have shown it, but he might have pictured yourwedding day your entire life and been looking forward to walking you down the aisle. So unless you feel strongly about him not walking you down the aisle, I would talk to him and consider including him. It will be a special memory for both of you.


I strongly disagree.
Contributing the sperm that created a person doesn't entitle a man to escort her at her wedding-especially if he does not have a close relationship with his daughter.

He should only be approached about escorting her if that's what she really wants.-


I didn't say it entitled him and I never said she has to do it. I specifically said that she can walk alone. I simply advised that if she doesn't feel strongly against it, then maybe consider including him in the decision.

I still disagree.  The only person who has a say in the decision is her, whether she feels strongly about it or not. 



You can disagree (though you're really attributing more to what I said). I still stand by what I said and what I said wasn't in any way, shape, or form that the decision ISN'T hers. But whatever.

Jen4948

snowywinter said:

snowywinter said:

Jen4948 said:

snowywinter said:

Jen4948 said:

snowywinter said:
I'm going to play Devil's advocate here and saythat while you certainly can walk alone, I think you should talk to your father about it. While for you, you never pictured it, perhaps yourfather has. He might not have shown it, but he might have pictured yourwedding day your entire life and been looking forward to walking you down the aisle. So unless you feel strongly about him not walking you down the aisle, I would talk to him and consider including him. It will be a special memory for both of you.


I strongly disagree.
Contributing the sperm that created a person doesn't entitle a man to escort her at her wedding-especially if he does not have a close relationship with his daughter.

He should only be approached about escorting her if that's what she really wants.-


I didn't say it entitled him and I never said she has to do it. I specifically said that she can walk alone. I simply advised that if she doesn't feel strongly against it, then maybe consider including him in the decision.

I still disagree.  The only person who has a say in the decision is her, whether she feels strongly about it or not. 



You can disagree (though you're really attributing more to what I said). I still stand by what I said and what I said wasn't in any way, shape, or form that the decision ISN'T hers. But whatever.

I understand what you said.

But ultimately this is a decision that the OP has to make alone. I think she actually should only include her father in it if she does feel strongly that he should walk her down the aisle. If she doesn't, "including" him in the decision could be counterproductive.

Bruinslove

Talking to him about such a thing is just odd to me, we aren't very emotional people. I am sure he expects it as he is a very traditional person. But my parents know I am not traditional and I do things my own way. I wish I had a brother because he would be walking me down no question! 

Pupatella

Do you have a very close male friend / male cousin / etc. that could escort you?  It sounds like you would prefer an escort, but want someone other than your parents?

I agree with PP's that you do not need to have your parents walk down the aisle, and walking down the aisle alone is perfectly fine!!  But I also agree with @CMGragain that an escort could help you walk down the aisle smoothly if you have high heels.

Edited: You don't need a "male" person to walk you down, as my first paragraph insinuates.  You can also have your MOH escort you down if you want.  Just choose someone who is very meaningful to you!!

TheCheeseWench

It is absolutely not out of line to walk yourself down the aisle, since you are the one making the decision to enter this marriage it is perfectly appropriate for you to be the one walking to it on your own. If you do not wish to have your father walk you down the aisle, I would recommend against talking to him about it. It would be kind of hurtful for you to bring it up to him and then ultimately tell him that you do not want to do it. I also agree that if you would prefer it to be someone else that is completely appropriate as well. I am being escorted down the aisle by my mother. Also, as @CMGragain pointed out, your footwear choice should be considered regardless. It is especially important if you will not have someone there just in case a heel catches.

Knottie1429707649

I'm walking down the aisle with my fiancée :-)

Knottie1431812639

snowywinter said:

I'm going to play Devil's advocate here and say that while you certainly can walk alone, I think you should talk to your father about it. While for you, you never pictured it, perhaps your father has. He might not have shown it, but he might have pictured your wedding day your entire life and been looking forward to walking you down the aisle. So unless you feel strongly about him not walking you down the aisle, I would talk to him and consider including him. It will be a special memory for both of you.

I agree with this. I think if it isn't a big deal to you then maybe asking your parents how they feel wouldn't hurt?

Jen4948

Knottie1431812639 said:

snowywinter said:

I'm going to play Devil's advocate here and say that while you certainly can walk alone, I think you should talk to your father about it. While for you, you never pictured it, perhaps your father has. He might not have shown it, but he might have pictured your wedding day your entire life and been looking forward to walking you down the aisle. So unless you feel strongly about him not walking you down the aisle, I would talk to him and consider including him. It will be a special memory for both of you.

I agree with this. I think if it isn't a big deal to you then maybe asking your parents how they feel wouldn't hurt?

I don't agree.  Ultimately, the choice needs to be your own personal one, and it needs not to be based on whose feelings might get hurt if you don't ask someone.  If your father really has pictured escorting you on your wedding day your entire life, he should have thought of that when he decided not to be close enough to you that it's not a given that you would ask him.  So he should not be asked how he feels about this, because ultimately it might hurt you.