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The urge to out this person would be strong, but blocking is the best option.

Dear Prudence,
I was raised by liberal parents in a small conservative city. One of my good friends from high school, “Wendy,” is a deeply religious evangelical Christian who spent several years after high school without much direction. During that time, she got pregnant and terminated the pregnancy. I was the only person she told because she knew I wouldn’t judge her. Wendy has subsequently figured out her life and become a mother and works in a respected career. We are in touch only on social media. She is rabidly pro-life, and with the recent news involving Planned Parenthood, she is posting a lot of vile pro-life literature: Women who have abortions are murderers, they are going to hell, Planned Parenthood is run by the devil, etc. I am bothered not only because I disagree with the content of the posts, but also because I know that this friend had an abortion. My husband thinks I should call Wendy out for her hypocrisy. He thinks I should privately message her and politely remind her that she herself was once in a desperate spot. I think that such a message would be seen as a threat. She may fear that I will tell other people about her abortion, and as much as I would love to air a conservative’s dirty laundry, I made a promise not to blab. But there is a part of me that really wants to call her out. What do you think?

—Liberal in Middle America

Re: The urge to out this person would be strong, but blocking is the best option.

  • I'd contact her privately and remind her to have empathy-- that she went through the same and she knows not everything is black and white. Maybe she's convinced herself her abortion didn't really happen, wasn't valid, or that her circumstances were extenuating. Sometimes a reminder can bring people back to reality... And I would block her. Once, a girl I knew started posting videos of late term abortions on her wall, so I unfriended her and blocked her. That's not something you spring on people.

  • I might be in the minority, but I don't take what people post on FB seriously. I just don't get my blood pressure up about it. With that said, what is calling her out going to do? Maybe she thinks she has to be militant about it because it's a choice that she regrets. Who knows?

    Plus, that was info that should be kept in the friend vault, even if you don't agree with her current views.

  • I wouldn't threaten her with it or anything.  I would unfriend her, probably not block.  I save blocking for co-workers and people I think are unhealthy for me to have in my life.

    Back in the day, you didn't have to like everything about your friends.  The problem is that sometimes FB allows you to keep seeing, all the damn time, exactly what you don't like about your friends.  I've unfriended a few people when "unfollow" wasn't enough and told them, "To keep our IRL friendship, I need to be separate from your FB."  Most people understand, b/c I expect to be treated the same way if necessary.  I think I've had 2 that huff and puffed off, but it wasn't anyone I was super sore about losing, obviously, b/c I can't remember who they were now.
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