Crazy Brides - It does happen

l9i

I've always thought this was a myth or exaggerated when you hear these stories but I've found out it's not the case.  I'm in a wedding next month and over the last year the bride has turned into a different person.  I keep telling myself things will go back to normal after the wedding, but the more I see the more I realize that probably won't happen.  So, the whole point is more of a PSA when brides think "my friends and family will love me no matter what".  It's not true, this bride's behavior has most likely ruined several friendships.  Just my thoughts on a sad realization for the day.

kmmssg

So sorry to hear this.  We are pretty good listeners if you ever want to unload.

lyndausvi

I'm sorry.

l9i

@kmmssg Thanks!  I have other people who are close to me also in this wedding and no one is happy.  There's been much venting all around!  

I mostly figured I would share bc as a lurker I always see the crazy stories but never believed any of my friends could be that person.  I also see people come and post "but this is different, they understand me, it's ok to do x,y,z" even though PPs tell them not to.

Liatris2010

l9i said:

@kmmssg Thanks!  I have other people who are close to me also in this wedding and no one is happy.  There's been much venting all around!  

I mostly figured I would share bc as a lurker I always see the crazy stories but never believed any of my friends could be that person.  I also see people come and post "but this is different, they understand me, it's ok to do x,y,z" even though PPs tell them not to.

United front! Voice your concerns with whatever 'zilla things are going on instead of pretending it is okay. The bride isn't likely to realize she is upsetting everyone if you are all pretending she isn't.

Maggie0829

Liatris2010 said:

l9i said:

@kmmssg Thanks!  I have other people who are close to me also in this wedding and no one is happy.  There's been much venting all around!  

I mostly figured I would share bc as a lurker I always see the crazy stories but never believed any of my friends could be that person.  I also see people come and post "but this is different, they understand me, it's ok to do x,y,z" even though PPs tell them not to.

United front! Voice your concerns with whatever 'zilla things are going on instead of pretending it is okay. The bride isn't likely to realize she is upsetting everyone if you are all pretending she isn't.

So much this.  If she wasn't getting married and she was treating you all like crap would you say something to her?  If the answer is yes, don't let the fact that she is getting married stop you from talking to your friend.

l9i

I know I've voiced concern over some things and it's always boiled down to "It's my wedding, and my day".  

Maggie0829

l9i said:

I know I've voiced concern over some things and it's always boiled down to "It's my wedding, and my day".  

Why are you even still in the wedding?  Life is too short to deal with people like this.

novella1186

l9i said:

@kmmssg Thanks!  I have other people who are close to me also in this wedding and no one is happy.  There's been much venting all around!  

I mostly figured I would share bc as a lurker I always see the crazy stories but never believed any of my friends could be that person.  I also see people come and post "but this is different, they understand me, it's ok to do x,y,z" even though PPs tell them not to.

I know what you mean by the bolded. Our most laid-back friends were the ones who got super caught up in their Grand Wedding Vision and the whole "It's MY day!" nonsense. 

They ended up un-inviting us to their wedding a week beforehand because their small venue and vision were more important than their friends. We no longer speak to them. And we never in a million years would have expected this particular couple to behave in such a way. 

Liatris2010

l9i said:

I know I've voiced concern over some things and it's always boiled down to "It's my wedding, and my day".  

To which I would reply, "It's my [money, time, dignity, etc.]"

l9i

@Maggie0829 Mostly because the groom is one of DH's childhood friends (how me and the bride met and became friends).  If I would do that, it would also end the friendship for DH and he isn't ready for that yet.  We've talked about it though.

[Deleted User]

l9i said:

@Maggie0829 Mostly because the groom is one of DH's childhood friends (how me and the bride met and became friends).  If I would do that, it would also end the friendship for DH and he isn't ready for that yet.  We've talked about it though.

I want details.  If she's such a 'zilla, she's not here or we would have beat her down.  So change names to protect the batshitcrazies, and spill!

OliveOilsMom

I've been in the wedding with the crazy bride.  So I know how you feel.  We were a group of 4 friends and after the one's wedding, its now a group of 3 friends.  We no longer speak with the bride, she also feels that its our fault the friendship ended, so be prepared for that!  

Even just recently, one friend posted a meme saying that "psychologist say if you have a friend for at least 7 years, the friendship lasts a lifetime" or something to that effect.  Well my friend posted it and tagged me and the other friend.  The ex-friend saw it and decided to message each of us to again reiterate how she did nothing wrong and yada yada yada.  It had been at least 3 years since we had ended our friendship too.

l9i

@adk19  I'll indulge lol

She told us exactly what she wanted to do for the bachelorette party.  We figured we could tweak it and still surprise her right?  Nope, she made us change the plans back to exactly what she had dictated (MOH told her).  We've been told, not asked, we have to help her set up and I know she's gone wayyyy overboard on decorations so that's going to be hell.  We were all to get are hair done together (paid for by each of us of course) and then told only 20-30 min per person so nothing elaborate bc they need to spend maximum time on her.  Yeah, if I'm paying for it, I'm going somewhere that cares and will do what I want.  Fortunately we had say in the dresses we bought.  During the shower she was like a child at Christmas.  She went threw it so fast and never showed what things were or said who it was from.  Maybe that's just more of a pet peeve but I thought it was incredibly rude and is an example to show the type of attitude/behavior.

Now on the guys side... DH was told to plan the bachelor party, did, wasn't getting any feedback from the others, and then found out the parents planned it.  Their tuxes they had to rent were hella expensive, more than what I paid for my dress.  They also MUST be rented from a specific place an hour away which is going to a hassle with DH's work schedule.  They've had to buy specific shirts to wear under their tux bc the pictures, another 20 bucks or so.  And the biggest thing was to replace a "position" twice.  The first replacement was to add another good friend of mine and then he just stopped hearing about things so asked the groom and was just told "you're no longer needed".  He just found this out and the wedding is in less than 1 month!  That is when DH and I talked about whether we wanted to step out or not.  We've decided not to for now.

Then there's just etiquette things that drive me insane but even when mentioned she doesn't care bc it's her day.  There's a gap, invites were sent with no return address on where to send RSVPs or stamps included.  Cash bar.  Honeyfund.  I'm sure there will be some sort of dollar dance.  I did get a thank you card from the shower which is a plus and literally all it said was "Thanks for the x. Love, B & G".  It was so genuine...

Overall, it's a lot of little things that keep building up and dealing with the general attitude of "I don't care, It's my day.  You don't matter."  I've tried to stay distant on the wedding related front but have invited her to do things just us and she's never taken me up on it.  She's only come around when she needs something for the wedding.

PamBeesly524

l9i said:

@adk19  I'll indulge lol

She told us exactly what she wanted to do for the bachelorette party.  We figured we could tweak it and still surprise her right?  Nope, she made us change the plans back to exactly what she had dictated (MOH told her).  We've been told, not asked, we have to help her set up and I know she's gone wayyyy overboard on decorations so that's going to be hell.  We were all to get are hair done together (paid for by each of us of course) and then told only 20-30 min per person so nothing elaborate bc they need to spend maximum time on her.  Yeah, if I'm paying for it, I'm going somewhere that cares and will do what I want.  Fortunately we had say in the dresses we bought.  During the shower she was like a child at Christmas.  She went threw it so fast and never showed what things were or said who it was from.  Maybe that's just more of a pet peeve but I thought it was incredibly rude and is an example to show the type of attitude/behavior.

Now on the guys side... DH was told to plan the bachelor party, did, wasn't getting any feedback from the others, and then found out the parents planned it.  Their tuxes they had to rent were hella expensive, more than what I paid for my dress.  They also MUST be rented from a specific place an hour away which is going to a hassle with DH's work schedule.  They've had to buy specific shirts to wear under their tux bc the pictures, another 20 bucks or so.  And the biggest thing was to replace a "position" twice.  The first replacement was to add another good friend of mine and then he just stopped hearing about things so asked the groom and was just told "you're no longer needed".  He just found this out and the wedding is in less than 1 month!  That is when DH and I talked about whether we wanted to step out or not.  We've decided not to for now.

Then there's just etiquette things that drive me insane but even when mentioned she doesn't care bc it's her day.  There's a gap, invites were sent with no return address on where to send RSVPs or stamps included.  Cash bar.  Honeyfund.  I'm sure there will be some sort of dollar dance.  I did get a thank you card from the shower which is a plus and literally all it said was "Thanks for the x. Love, B & G".  It was so genuine...

Overall, it's a lot of little things that keep building up and dealing with the general attitude of "I don't care, It's my day.  You don't matter."  I've tried to stay distant on the wedding related front but have invited her to do things just us and she's never taken me up on it.  She's only come around when she needs something for the wedding.

To the bolded: Just curious, how's her RSVP return rate? I know if I got an invite and there was no RSVP address, especially if it wasn't family or a close friend, I might not even bother returning it.

l9i

@PamBeesly524  Not sure.  My guess would be it's prb a mess.  I could see RSVPs going to either parents or to their house.

PamBeesly524

l9i said:

@PamBeesly524  Not sure.  My guess would be it's prb a mess.  I could see RSVPs going to either parents or to their house.

I didn't even think about the fact that it opens up the possibility of receiving them at multiple locations.. what a shit show.