I know these BM vents go over super poorly, but there is an extremely good chance I need to get put in my place. Figured this is the board for that. I might be overly sensitive since my venue is stressing me out (see my other post Neighborhood Trying to Shut Down Venue). It's been a great 4 days...
So I got engaged in August 2014, quickly found my venue and picked my date all by mid-September 2014. February 21 I get a text from one of the girls who is a BM (cleared date with all of them as soon as we picked it, been friends with all BMs since 2007 so I figured they wouldn't change over 1 year). She texted me telling me another one of her friends picked the exact same date as me and she wants to be a BM in both. I am like mid-long run THANK GOD because endorphins kept me from having an overreaction. She made sure to let me know that "this was going to get so crazy for her" and I'm like sorry not sorry? I've had this date for 6 months. I even said "I know it's hard to balance 2 wedding parties on the same day" and then gave her an opportunity to back out. She said no she committed to me first and would definitely be there.
I've been super accommodating of her schedule since she's going to be gone the whole day before. I'm paying for their hair and makeup as nice gesture and asked if she can make it. She can. I let her know she will be the first one so she can make it to the other wedding in time. Let her know what time we are doing pictures before so she can be there for that. Every time I plan around her other wedding I am slightly miffed, but try to not let it show because hey - I am getting married, not her. This is my dream, not hers. I just need to be thankful she will be there at all. And I know the other bride probably feels the same way.
Fast forward to this weekend. I see her this weekend and we talk about my RD. I let her know it will start between 4:30 and 5:30. The venue coordinator can't meet me after 5, but said I am free to use the ceremony space which is outdoors any time. I told her last Friday it will be finished by 6:30 at the very latest as our dinner starts at 7 at our house 30 min away. I'm fairly sure I even told her if she can't make it it's going to be fine. She seems ok with the info and told me she was planning on going to my rehearsal and other bride's dinner. Yesterday I get a text saying "Hey you need to plan this because other bride is planning hers and I can't guarantee I'm going to be there." I'm like ok first of all, if you can't make it that's fine. One of the GM can't make it because he has an LSAT the next morning. NBD, shit happens. Second of all, are you seriously pressuring me like 2 days after I just told you the time window?! I texted her back letting her know I have a meeting with the venue this week and will let her know afterwards. She responds other bride will pick hers and she will just do the best she can to come to my rehearsal.
I know I am probably being a bit BSC, but it's only 1:16PM where I am and wine is not socially acceptable during the workday
There is also of course a long backstory involving a major issue with the BM dresses (picked them out with 3 girls and she said she thought they would be able to pick out their own, not have matching and I'm like girl that ship has sailed) and planning a huge trip the weekend before my bach and then being like "are you sure you can't go??" Girl. I am spending thousands of dollars 3 weeks later. No I cannot go because I am saving my money for meals for the OOT bach party my sister is planning. I told you that when you picked the trip dates at the beginning.
Anyone else seen a BM in 2 weddings same day handle is well, outside of 27 dresses? Because I could use a pep talk/reassurance this will work out/come to Jesus talk about me being a bridezilla. I don't want to bitch to my FI because he doesn't like her and said just kick her out back in February (etiquette be damned) or the rest of my bridal party.