Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

How many people showed up vs. how many were invited?

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Re: How many people showed up vs. how many were invited?

  • You have to invite the right people as your b list... My 6 included family of my bridesmaid whom I hadn't seen or talked to since high school and a friend from high school I hadn't seen in 6 years... I deliberately did not have a longer b list to avoid b listing people I knew would be upset about it. Notice I had room to add much more than 6. 
    No, no, no. Note to lurkers please do not do this. These forums have tons of posts from people that have been b-listed whose feelings were hurt that they weren't including in the initial invite, but included later. 

    You have no way of knowing who would be upset about it before hand. This is all terrible advice. 
    OurWildKingdomInLoveInQueens
  • You have to invite the right people as your b list... My 6 included family of my bridesmaid whom I hadn't seen or talked to since high school and a friend from high school I hadn't seen in 6 years... I deliberately did not have a longer b list to avoid b listing people I knew would be upset about it. Notice I had room to add much more than 6. 
    Only treat those as second class citizens who are totally fine with being treated poorly.   Don't treat people poorly if they'll call you out.   Only if they mean less. 
    OurWildKingdommadamerwinGreenjinjo InLoveInQueens
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216
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    You have to invite the right people as your b list... My 6 included family of my bridesmaid whom I hadn't seen or talked to since high school and a friend from high school I hadn't seen in 6 years... I deliberately did not have a longer b list to avoid b listing people I knew would be upset about it. Notice I had room to add much more than 6. 
    Right people to B-list = no one. Ditto with tiered guest lists.
    charlotte989875ILoveBeachMusicInLoveInQueens
  • fyrchkfyrchk
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    We invited 126 and had 46 no's. I think we had about 75 people show which was great as it was our minimum anyway. On that note, I felt bad because I didn't feel like I got to spend quality time with some of our guests. I can't imagine how exhausted those of you were that had much larger guest turn-out! You have my respect.

    I did have an issue which I found out when making follow-up calls to those who didn't RSVP "in time." Some people never received their invite and 2 invites arrived like the week RSVP's were due. Thank you USPS.

    SP29
  • edited July 2016
    We actually had plenty of popcorn, there was more than enough to last the whole night and people brought some home. Thanks for bringing that up so I could throw in that the amount of popcorn was a non issue.

  • We actually had plenty of popcorn, there was more than enough to last the whole night and people brought some home. Thanks for bringing that up so I could throw in that the amount of popcorn was a non issue.

    How was the coffee situation?
    image
    DrillSergeantCatjustsie
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK
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    We actually had plenty of popcorn, there was more than enough to last the whole night and people brought some home. Thanks for bringing that up so I could throw in that the amount of popcorn was a non issue.

    How was the coffee situation?
    I'm curious about the fruit infused water, too.
    justsie100yroldblinddog
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado
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    You have to invite the right people as your b list... My 6 included family of my bridesmaid whom I hadn't seen or talked to since high school and a friend from high school I hadn't seen in 6 years... I deliberately did not have a longer b list to avoid b listing people I knew would be upset about it. Notice I had room to add much more than 6. 
    Right people to B-list = no one. Ditto with tiered guest lists.
    Why in the world would you even want to invite people you have not SEEN or TALKED since HS?     I get if you have not seen them, but talk to them, but neither?   That is just odd.








    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216
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    lyndausvi said:
    You have to invite the right people as your b list... My 6 included family of my bridesmaid whom I hadn't seen or talked to since high school and a friend from high school I hadn't seen in 6 years... I deliberately did not have a longer b list to avoid b listing people I knew would be upset about it. Notice I had room to add much more than 6. 
    Right people to B-list = no one. Ditto with tiered guest lists.
    Why in the world would you even want to invite people you have not SEEN or TALKED since HS?     I get if you have not seen them, but talk to them, but neither?   That is just odd.

    SITB

    My guess is that the invitation was at the BM's request.
  • We invited 86 people, 68 said yes. I'm not sure how many didn't show up at the reception, but I do know I had at least two empty tables and several half empty tables. I only wish people had told me ahead of time that something had come up and they wouldn't be able to make it so we could remove the extra tables and make some more room. At least I didn't have to worry about running out of cake and booze though!
  • kylexokylexo Finger Lakes, NY
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    we invited 156 people, had 100 RSVP yes and 97 showed up.
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216
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    kylexo said:
    we invited 156 people, had 100 RSVP yes and 97 showed up.
    How was your wedding?
  • kylexokylexo Finger Lakes, NY
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    kylexo said:
    we invited 156 people, had 100 RSVP yes and 97 showed up.
    How was your wedding?
    It was super fun! I posted a thread about it a second ago! 
  • lyndausvi said:
    You have to invite the right people as your b list... My 6 included family of my bridesmaid whom I hadn't seen or talked to since high school and a friend from high school I hadn't seen in 6 years... I deliberately did not have a longer b list to avoid b listing people I knew would be upset about it. Notice I had room to add much more than 6. 
    Right people to B-list = no one. Ditto with tiered guest lists.
    Why in the world would you even want to invite people you have not SEEN or TALKED since HS?     I get if you have not seen them, but talk to them, but neither?   That is just odd.

    SITB

    My guess is that the invitation was at the BM's request.
    Not quite...I moved from my home town 8 years ago. I've known my bridesmaid since kindergarten and basically grew up with her family as part of my own family. Once high school was over her brother moved to another state, she moved to another Country and I lost touch with her parents.

    While I was in town again for the wedding I got to hang out with her parents, brother and his wife for the first time in forever and we got to reminiscing about the old times and I made a choice to invite people that otherwise I would not have had contact with prior to the wedding if it weren't for seeing them 3 days before we were set to get married. 

    There was really no malice, hard feelings or anything weird about the scenario. They were super stoked to get the last minutes invite and had a blast at the wedding. We are now "Facebook friends" so I get to talk to them a little more.

  • We actually had plenty of popcorn, there was more than enough to last the whole night and people brought some home. Thanks for bringing that up so I could throw in that the amount of popcorn was a non issue.

    How was the coffee situation?
    I'm curious about the fruit infused water, too.
    No coffee, the older people left early enough for the no coffee to not be an issue. 

    As to the water we served tea in one, lemonade in another and peach blackberry water. They all were a hit. The bartender even whipped up a random "bridal" shot using the lemonade LOL!!

  • geebee908 said:
    So we originally invited 64 people (that number includes plus one's, so it was a small list). When RSVPs came back of the 64 invited 53 said they would come (several people simply weren't bringing guests). A week before the wedding I started receiving calls and texts that for multiple reasons done people couldn't make it. I last minute added 6 more people (they totally understood as the wedding was super small do no hard feelings on the lack of invite). The final count of people that actually showed up was 46. Turned out to be a very small event but made it a much more personal experience.
    I would have thought it a good idea not to add b-list guests so you'd have had more popcorn to go around during the cocktail hour.
    There was actually plenty of popcorn :wink: Even enough for people to bring home.

  • We had 90 attend out of about 105 originally invited. I was really pleased to get below 100, and luckily most of the guests unable to attend were the people we 'had' to invite for family politics rather than people we are truly close to. 
                 
  • This is so strange to me. I've never been to a wedding where there were empty seats on the day. Yes people rsvp no. Or something comes up just before or on the day. But I think its extremely rude to say your coming and then to just not show!! the couple have spent normally a lot of money on your place so I can never imagine doing that! 

    I think you plan for everyone to come with the knowledge that it more than likely wont happen. To avoid any issues.
  • We planned for 100% and we had that at our destination wedding. At our party back at home we had 15 not show up out of the 134 that had rsvp'd yes.
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