Chit Chat

Anyone else getting ready to TTC? Or any advice?

2

Re: Anyone else getting ready to TTC? Or any advice?

  • julieanne912julieanne912 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited September 2015
    FiancB said:
    sarahufl said:
    H and I got married last July and waited till Christmas to go on our honeymoon. That was going to be our last big hoorah before starting TTC. Got pregnant the next month, which I promptly lost to a very expensive and painful ectopic pregnancy in March. 

    Had to wait 3 months to start trying again and apparently I am very fertile, because I got pregnant that time, too. Currently 13 weeks and feeling optimistic. The point of my story is you never know what may happen. It will take us 14 months (provided everything happens as planned) to take home a baby and that is with me being apparently ultra-fertile. 

    As PPs  said, I found temping very useful. I don't ovulate "on schedule" and it clearly allowed me to have 2, very well-timed pregnancies by keeping track of what my body was up to. I do understand it's not for everyone and it is SUPER easy to get all wrapped up in timed sex, etc. But it can still be fun, you just have a goal to work toward!
    Congrats, truly, and I know you're only sharing your experience and trying to be helpful, but I can't be the only one seeing the irony that someone that freaked out on someone for accidentally possibly getting pregnant is going on and on about how fertile they are. 

    Maybe now I'm the resident bitter not-pregnant lady since yesterday I thought I saw a line and today I did not. 

    I don't get the hate for the bump, I rather like that (maybe that means I'm one of the bitchy hardcore TTC-ers- see first comment). I started temping way before even TTC, but then I was already familiar with it since my sister is very Catholic and has been using NFP for years, both to conceive and prevent. While temping mainly just confirmed that I thought I had pretty regular cycles, I still find that info to be helpful. I'm on a med I can't take if pregnant, so it's nice to know what part of my cycle I'm on so I know if I'm totally okay to take it vs maybe I should skip it for a few days until I know for sure I am not pregnant. I think it would be a huge pain with paper charting, but Fertility Friend makes it super easy, so I don't really get why people wouldn't want to do it. 

    It definitely can make you feel crazy and obsessive, although other than my current incident, I've calmed down over time and don't feel like TTC is consuming my brain anymore. Try to be patient and take advantage of the time that you have. Also keep in mind a place like TTGP on the bump is going to make it seem much harder than it is on average- of course it's going to have a lot of people on there that have been trying for a long time, have had losses, needed fertility treatments, etc when in reality, it's probably safe to say the majority of pregnancies are accidental, or at least come pretty easily. 
    I don't think anybody hates the bump, but when you go on there the first few times when you're new to TTCing, all the acronyms, the rules, the way people post, it can get very intimidating (The TTGP board anyway).  I did check out the "Babies on the Brain" board last night and it does seem like a lot more of a mellow place to post than the "Trying to Get Pregnant" board.  
    Married 9.12.15
    image
  • chloe97 said:
    Thanks all. This is great advice! It's good to know that there a bunch of people in a similar situation as we are. We were going to wait until next cycle, but Im ready to just get started. We had dinner with the in-laws tonight and may potential future pregnancy was brought up no fewer than 15 times. I was drinking wine, so it started out with " oh so you aren't pregnant". Every conversation led back to conversations about me potentially being pregnant or their grandchildren/ niece/ nephews. This is a lot of pressure!! I'm seriously considering avoiding them all (we live in the same city) the first 3 months. I can't even imagine how bad this will be if it's not happening after we start trying.
    Nip that in the bud girl! It takes the average healthy couple a year to get pregnant, and it's probably much easier to be direct that the topic is not up for discussion one time firmly right now than to avoid them or put up with that for a year. Like honestly dealing with it right now when you still have a positive frame of mind is going to be 1000% better than if in six months you still aren't pregnant and you're sad about it and you feel like you're going to burst into tears then next time someone asks you when it's going to happen. Honestly I might even tell them you've decided to put off TTC so you don't have to feel like they are scouring you for signs every time you interact- it's a white lie that might make them much easier to deal with.


  • julieanne912julieanne912 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited September 2015
    chloe97 said:
    Thanks all. This is great advice! It's good to know that there a bunch of people in a similar situation as we are. We were going to wait until next cycle, but Im ready to just get started. We had dinner with the in-laws tonight and may potential future pregnancy was brought up no fewer than 15 times. I was drinking wine, so it started out with " oh so you aren't pregnant". Every conversation led back to conversations about me potentially being pregnant or their grandchildren/ niece/ nephews. This is a lot of pressure!! I'm seriously considering avoiding them all (we live in the same city) the first 3 months. I can't even imagine how bad this will be if it's not happening after we start trying.
    I agree that you need to say something to your ILs.  Tell them that them constantly asking is just stressing you out even more, and that isn't good for your chances of getting pregnant.  I know my mom has backed off, she knows she will be the FIRST to know (other than H of course) if I get pregnant, and that I will talk to her if I have questions or need advice (she had a hard time TTCing with my 2 older brothers, and my oldest brother died shortly after birth).  Our baby will likely be her only grandchild, so it's natural for her to be excited, so I get that.
    Married 9.12.15
    image


  • FiancB said:
    sarahufl said:
    H and I got married last July and waited till Christmas to go on our honeymoon. That was going to be our last big hoorah before starting TTC. Got pregnant the next month, which I promptly lost to a very expensive and painful ectopic pregnancy in March. 

    Had to wait 3 months to start trying again and apparently I am very fertile, because I got pregnant that time, too. Currently 13 weeks and feeling optimistic. The point of my story is you never know what may happen. It will take us 14 months (provided everything happens as planned) to take home a baby and that is with me being apparently ultra-fertile. 

    As PPs  said, I found temping very useful. I don't ovulate "on schedule" and it clearly allowed me to have 2, very well-timed pregnancies by keeping track of what my body was up to. I do understand it's not for everyone and it is SUPER easy to get all wrapped up in timed sex, etc. But it can still be fun, you just have a goal to work toward!
    Congrats, truly, and I know you're only sharing your experience and trying to be helpful, but I can't be the only one seeing the irony that someone that freaked out on someone for accidentally possibly getting pregnant is going on and on about how fertile they are. 

    Maybe now I'm the resident bitter not-pregnant lady since yesterday I thought I saw a line and today I did not. 

    I don't get the hate for the bump, I rather like that (maybe that means I'm one of the bitchy hardcore TTC-ers- see first comment). I started temping way before even TTC, but then I was already familiar with it since my sister is very Catholic and has been using NFP for years, both to conceive and prevent. While temping mainly just confirmed that I thought I had pretty regular cycles, I still find that info to be helpful. I'm on a med I can't take if pregnant, so it's nice to know what part of my cycle I'm on so I know if I'm totally okay to take it vs maybe I should skip it for a few days until I know for sure I am not pregnant. I think it would be a huge pain with paper charting, but Fertility Friend makes it super easy, so I don't really get why people wouldn't want to do it. 

    It definitely can make you feel crazy and obsessive, although other than my current incident, I've calmed down over time and don't feel like TTC is consuming my brain anymore. Try to be patient and take advantage of the time that you have. Also keep in mind a place like TTGP on the bump is going to make it seem much harder than it is on average- of course it's going to have a lot of people on there that have been trying for a long time, have had losses, needed fertility treatments, etc when in reality, it's probably safe to say the majority of pregnancies are accidental, or at least come pretty easily. 
    I don't think anybody hates the bump, but when you go on there the first few times when you're new to TTCing, all the acronyms, the rules, the way people post, it can get very intimidating (The TTGP board anyway).  I did check out the "Babies on the Brain" board last night and it does seem like a lot more of a mellow place to post than the "Trying to Get Pregnant" board.  
    The TTGP board is similar to the etiquette board. If you lurk and learn the board culture you are unlikely to get flamed. I can summarize the TTGP board rules now: Don't post pictures of thing you peed on; Don't ask if symptoms x, y z mean you're pregnant; Be sensitive to the struggles of others so don't wave your pregnancy around in others' faces, don't wish infertility on anyone, don't brag about being super fertile, and realize when you complain about it taking "so long" to get a BFP or a take home baby that others are worse off then you.
    Oh I know, once you get to know how a board works it's much easier.  Just saying as a newbie, it's pretty intimidating.  

    OT, but that GIF is totally weirding me out and makes it hard to concentrate on what you're actually posting LOL
    Married 9.12.15
    image
  • @LadyMillil, we were totally at a Perkins the other night eating cream pie and I thought of that GIF and started laughing hysterically to the point of crying. I couldn't even try to explain it to my husband so I showed him, and yeah, he thinks I'm insane. 

    Apparently, it's an ice cream commercial. 
    image
  • I'm getting married in a month and FI and I have talked about TTC in spring-ish 2016. We're both ready to start a family and are really excited about it. FI's sister has a toddler and his brother's wife is expecting, so the family has baby fever right now and it's hard not to want to jump on board. Not to mention, it seems like all of our friends are either expecting or TTC (we're 30). 

    My first step though is coming off the pill when my prescription ends in November. I'm scared of breaking out and/or gaining weight, but am very happy to let my body adjust to natural hormones again. I also lurked a little on TB but was confused and turned off by a lot of new acronyms and whatnot. Planning to lurk a little longer and will definitely check out some of the threads and websites that PPs have mentioned.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers


  • madamerwinmadamerwin member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited September 2015

    We’re most definitely TTC, but not the old-fashioned way… I had an infection in my tubes when I was younger, and we always knew that we would likely have trouble getting pregnant because of it. We went off BC four years ago, I had one miscarriage a year later (we were shocked that I was even able to get pregnant to begin with), but nothing since. 

    We started with the IVF screening process last March, had a saline sonogram a few weeks ago, and just found out yesterday that they will need to remove my left tube because it’s full of fluid (which greatly decreases the success of IVF). They don’t know what’s up with my right tube – there’s a slight chance it’s healthy, in which case removing the left one could resolve the infertility. But we’re not banking on that – most likely both are damaged, but removing the left one (and maybe blocking off the right one) will help with IVF. So now i have surgery scheduled for the end of October and I will need to take a full week off of work for recovery... My third laparoscopic procedure, and hopefully the last.

    ETF weird formatting

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • simcal18simcal18 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited September 2015
    We're just starting to TTC.  I read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility and found it very helpful in terms of explaining charting my cycle.  DH and I pretty type-A people, so when we decide to do something we commit.  Additionally, given that we're a bit on the older side for TTC (early 30s), if we do have any fertility issues we want to discover them sooner rather than later.  I chart using the Kindara fertility app.

    Also, as a practical tip--if you work, look into your work's maternity leave policies, and in particular see if they offer short-term disability insurance that can replace some of your income while you are on maternity leave.  Many workplaces offer these policies at a reasonable cost, but you need to be on them BEFORE you get pregnant.  I didn't know my workplace offered one until after I got married, and DH and I actually put off TTC for 6 weeks or so while we got the policy in place--if we do eventually have a child having that policy will literally make thousands of dollars of difference in terms of replacement income while I'm on maternity leave, so it was definitely worth it to get it set up.
  • We’re most definitely TTC, but not the old-fashioned way… I had an infection in my tubes when I was younger, and we always knew that we would likely have trouble getting pregnant because of it. We went off BC four years ago, I had one miscarriage a year later (we were shocked that I was even able to get pregnant to begin with), but nothing since. 

    We started with the IVF screening process last March, had a saline sonogram a few weeks ago, and just found out yesterday that they will need to remove my left tube because it’s full of fluid (which greatly decreases the success of IVF). They don’t know what’s up with my right tube – there’s a slight chance it’s healthy, in which case removing the left one could resolve the infertility. But we’re not banking on that – most likely both are damaged, but removing the left one (and maybe blocking off the right one) will help with IVF. So now i have surgery scheduled for the end of October and I will need to take a full week off of work for recovery... My third laparoscopic procedure, and hopefully the last.

    ETF weird formatting

    I lost my left tube in March and I was absolutely blown away to hear that they can compensate for each other. In all my sex ed classes, I never knew that.

    Good luck with your procedure!
    image
  • FiancBFiancB member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited September 2015
    We're just starting to TTC.  I read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility and found it very helpful in terms of explaining charting my cycle.  DH and I pretty type-A people, so when we decide to do something we commit.  Additionally, given that we're a bit on the older side for TTC (early 30s), if we do have any fertility issues we want to discover them sooner rather than later.  I chart using the Kindara fertility app.

    Also, as a practical tip--if you work, look into your work's maternity leave policies, and in particular see if they offer short-term disability insurance that can replace some of your income while you are on maternity leave.  Many workplaces offer these policies at a reasonable cost, but you need to be on them BEFORE you get pregnant.  I didn't know my workplace offered one until after I got married, and DH and I actually put off TTC for 6 weeks or so while we got the policy in place--if we do have eventually have a child having that policy will literally make thousands of dollars of difference in terms of replacement income while I'm on maternity leave, so it was definitely worth it to get it set up.
    How did you go about figuring that out? I am not currently working full time but if I end up looking for a nursing job before getting KU I will definitely want to find this out, but I don't really want that to be my first question when on an interview, KWIM? The benefits that companies list on their website tend to be really vague and don't apply to everyone. 
    image
  • We’re most definitely TTC, but not the old-fashioned way… I had an infection in my tubes when I was younger, and we always knew that we would likely have trouble getting pregnant because of it. We went off BC four years ago, I had one miscarriage a year later (we were shocked that I was even able to get pregnant to begin with), but nothing since. 

    We started with the IVF screening process last March, had a saline sonogram a few weeks ago, and just found out yesterday that they will need to remove my left tube because it’s full of fluid (which greatly decreases the success of IVF). They don’t know what’s up with my right tube – there’s a slight chance it’s healthy, in which case removing the left one could resolve the infertility. But we’re not banking on that – most likely both are damaged, but removing the left one (and maybe blocking off the right one) will help with IVF. So now i have surgery scheduled for the end of October and I will need to take a full week off of work for recovery... My third laparoscopic procedure, and hopefully the last.

    ETF weird formatting

    Good luck, I hope the surgery goes well!  
    Married 9.12.15
    image
  • sarahuflsarahufl member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited September 2015
    FiancB said:
    We're just starting to TTC.  I read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility and found it very helpful in terms of explaining charting my cycle.  DH and I pretty type-A people, so when we decide to do something we commit.  Additionally, given that we're a bit on the older side for TTC (early 30s), if we do have any fertility issues we want to discover them sooner rather than later.  I chart using the Kindara fertility app.

    Also, as a practical tip--if you work, look into your work's maternity leave policies, and in particular see if they offer short-term disability insurance that can replace some of your income while you are on maternity leave.  Many workplaces offer these policies at a reasonable cost, but you need to be on them BEFORE you get pregnant.  I didn't know my workplace offered one until after I got married, and DH and I actually put off TTC for 6 weeks or so while we got the policy in place--if we do have eventually have a child having that policy will literally make thousands of dollars of difference in terms of replacement income while I'm on maternity leave, so it was definitely worth it to get it set up.
    How did you go about figuring that out? I am not currently working full time but if I end up looking for a nursing job before getting KU I will definitely want to find this out, but I don't really want that to be my first question when on an interview, KWIM? The benefits that companies list on their website tend to be really vague and don't apply to everyone. 
    My understanding is most of those policies are offered to you as a standard benefit (if your company offers it at all). It is for short-term disability that doesn't only apply to pregnancy. I know mine comes up annually during open enrollment. The friends I know who have signed up say you have to be registered 12 months before it can actually be used. Of course, they will always be different, but I think you could sneak it into the standard benefits discussion. I also happen to work for a huge organization, so all our benefits info is listed on an HR website I could access before I even applied to work here.
    image
  • julieanne912julieanne912 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited September 2015
    FiancB said:
    We're just starting to TTC.  I read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility and found it very helpful in terms of explaining charting my cycle.  DH and I pretty type-A people, so when we decide to do something we commit.  Additionally, given that we're a bit on the older side for TTC (early 30s), if we do have any fertility issues we want to discover them sooner rather than later.  I chart using the Kindara fertility app.

    Also, as a practical tip--if you work, look into your work's maternity leave policies, and in particular see if they offer short-term disability insurance that can replace some of your income while you are on maternity leave.  Many workplaces offer these policies at a reasonable cost, but you need to be on them BEFORE you get pregnant.  I didn't know my workplace offered one until after I got married, and DH and I actually put off TTC for 6 weeks or so while we got the policy in place--if we do have eventually have a child having that policy will literally make thousands of dollars of difference in terms of replacement income while I'm on maternity leave, so it was definitely worth it to get it set up.
    How did you go about figuring that out? I am not currently working full time but if I end up looking for a nursing job before getting KU I will definitely want to find this out, but I don't really want that to be my first question when on an interview, KWIM? The benefits that companies list on their website tend to be really vague and don't apply to everyone. 
    You generally wouldn't find out about that til the offer letter I imagine.  My job offers short term disability for 6 weeks, that I pay into, but no other maternity benefits, which is a bit lame considering it's a Fortune 200 company.  But, we're just planning ahead... trying to save a bit more than usual, and I picked an insurance plan (they offered 3) that has the lowest costs out of pocket in terms of deductible and co-insurance.  I'm hoping we can make it to 3 months maternity leave since that's what FMLA would cover.  My company requires me to be at the job for at least a year before FMLA takes effect (or maybe that's part of FMLA, not sure), but I'll be good there at this point since I started June 8th.  

    For my short term disability, I have to be on it BEFORE I conceive for it to take effect.  Not a big deal since my benefits kicked in Sept 1, but definitely something to think about once you start a job.  ETA:  It pays 60% of my salary while I'm on it, which for me would be enough to cover stuff like my student loans, car payment, utilities, but wouldn't be enough for spending money, so H would have to pick up the slack a bit there.  
    Married 9.12.15
    image
  • FiancB said:
    We're just starting to TTC.  I read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility and found it very helpful in terms of explaining charting my cycle.  DH and I pretty type-A people, so when we decide to do something we commit.  Additionally, given that we're a bit on the older side for TTC (early 30s), if we do have any fertility issues we want to discover them sooner rather than later.  I chart using the Kindara fertility app.

    Also, as a practical tip--if you work, look into your work's maternity leave policies, and in particular see if they offer short-term disability insurance that can replace some of your income while you are on maternity leave.  Many workplaces offer these policies at a reasonable cost, but you need to be on them BEFORE you get pregnant.  I didn't know my workplace offered one until after I got married, and DH and I actually put off TTC for 6 weeks or so while we got the policy in place--if we do have eventually have a child having that policy will literally make thousands of dollars of difference in terms of replacement income while I'm on maternity leave, so it was definitely worth it to get it set up.
    How did you go about figuring that out? I am not currently working full time but if I end up looking for a nursing job before getting KU I will definitely want to find this out, but I don't really want that to be my first question when on an interview, KWIM? The benefits that companies list on their website tend to be really vague and don't apply to everyone. 

    I have my short-term disability through a third party insurance agent that works with my employer.  It is the same third party insurance agent that offers supplemental life insurance (above and beyond what is already automatically put into place by my employer.)  I think there's nothing wrong with asking about what type of insurance is offered through your work once you've been offered a position and are negotiating salary + benefits.  There are lots of reasons why short term disability makes sense above and beyond maternity coverage, especially when you're in a physical job like nursing.  It's not like asking about insurance benefits is going to immediately scream "I INTEND TO GET KNOCKED UP SOON."

    Once you know the insurance agent to talk to, you can ask him more specific questions about short term disability and/or what kind of maternity coverage is available.  It's not like he's going to rat back to your employer that you were specifically asking about the maternity piece.  Two of my friends who are nurses recently had babies (one works at a hospital and one works in a nursing home), and both of them have short term disability, so I'd definitely look into it when you start looking for jobs as there's a good chance it will be available to you.  One of them is actually who told me to make sure that I had it before getting pregnant.  As a reference point, I pay about $100/month pre-tax for a policy that provides me with about $5000 of replacement income for a vaginal delivery and about $7000 for a c-section.
  • Oh forgot to mention, my short term disability only costs about $13 out of each paycheck.  But again that'll vary greatly depending on your company.  
    Married 9.12.15
    image
  •  
     

    You generally wouldn't find out about that til the offer letter I imagine.  My job offers short term disability for 6 weeks, that I pay into, but no other maternity benefits, which is a bit lame considering it's a Fortune 200 company.  But, we're just planning ahead... trying to save a bit more than usual, and I picked an insurance plan (they offered 3) that has the lowest costs out of pocket in terms of deductible and co-insurance.  I'm hoping we can make it to 3 months maternity leave since that's what FMLA would cover.  My company requires me to be at the job for at least a year before FMLA takes effect (or maybe that's part of FMLA, not sure), but I'll be good there at this point since I started June 8th.  

    FMLA rules say you have to have worked for the employer at least 12 months and have worked 1,250 hours over the last 12 months. Also if someone works for a small company, FMLA isn't available for companies under 50 employees although the company might have its own similar leave policy.  

  • Thanks @sarahufl and @julieanne912 ! Fingers crossed they have no trouble removing the left tube and that the right tube looks okay. We're 100% expecting to have to undergo IVF, but what a nice surprise it would be if my right tube is healthy and we are able to get pregnant naturally!

    As for short-term disability insurance - my work offers it as an option during the insurance enrollment process. I pay $1.52 per week and would receive 50% of my pay on short-term disability. Which, I imagine, would be super helpful when on maternity leave...
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I'm really glad a discussion of insurance came up. My open enrollment is November and DH's is October, so we need to look into this! Great reminder!!
    ________________________________


  • Thanks @sarahufl and @julieanne912 ! Fingers crossed they have no trouble removing the left tube and that the right tube looks okay. We're 100% expecting to have to undergo IVF, but what a nice surprise it would be if my right tube is healthy and we are able to get pregnant naturally!

    As for short-term disability insurance - my work offers it as an option during the insurance enrollment process. I pay $1.52 per week and would receive 50% of my pay on short-term disability. Which, I imagine, would be super helpful when on maternity leave...
    I freaked out about having my tube removed, but the doctors assured me it was better than keeping it. Because it was clearly damaged and I would just risk having more issues with it. That was when they explained to me how your tubes can pull eggs from both sides. My H and I are both well-educated and pretty in-tune with the reproduction process and were shocked that neither of us knew that before. But then I asked my friends and none of them knew either, so I didn't feel as dumb :)
    image
  • kvruns said:
     
     

    You generally wouldn't find out about that til the offer letter I imagine.  My job offers short term disability for 6 weeks, that I pay into, but no other maternity benefits, which is a bit lame considering it's a Fortune 200 company.  But, we're just planning ahead... trying to save a bit more than usual, and I picked an insurance plan (they offered 3) that has the lowest costs out of pocket in terms of deductible and co-insurance.  I'm hoping we can make it to 3 months maternity leave since that's what FMLA would cover.  My company requires me to be at the job for at least a year before FMLA takes effect (or maybe that's part of FMLA, not sure), but I'll be good there at this point since I started June 8th.  

    FMLA rules say you have to have worked for the employer at least 12 months and have worked 1,250 hours over the last 12 months. Also if someone works for a small company, FMLA isn't available for companies under 50 employees although the company might have its own similar leave policy.  

    Ah thanks good to know!  I just knew I needed to be here a year haha.  
    Married 9.12.15
    image
  • sarahufl said:

    I freaked out about having my tube removed, but the doctors assured me it was better than keeping it. Because it was clearly damaged and I would just risk having more issues with it. That was when they explained to me how your tubes can pull eggs from both sides. My H and I are both well-educated and pretty in-tune with the reproduction process and were shocked that neither of us knew that before. But then I asked my friends and none of them knew either, so I didn't feel as dumb :)
    To the bolded..... what?? I have this really weird visual of my tube snaking over to the other side of my innards to collect eggs. I can't even. 
    ________________________________


  • sarahufl said:
    Thanks @sarahufl and @julieanne912 ! Fingers crossed they have no trouble removing the left tube and that the right tube looks okay. We're 100% expecting to have to undergo IVF, but what a nice surprise it would be if my right tube is healthy and we are able to get pregnant naturally!

    As for short-term disability insurance - my work offers it as an option during the insurance enrollment process. I pay $1.52 per week and would receive 50% of my pay on short-term disability. Which, I imagine, would be super helpful when on maternity leave...
    I freaked out about having my tube removed, but the doctors assured me it was better than keeping it. Because it was clearly damaged and I would just risk having more issues with it. That was when they explained to me how your tubes can pull eggs from both sides. My H and I are both well-educated and pretty in-tune with the reproduction process and were shocked that neither of us knew that before. But then I asked my friends and none of them knew either, so I didn't feel as dumb :)
    I did not know this! But - the doctor said that because I was able to get pregnant a few years ago (though I miscarried very early and it may have been ectopic), it could be that the fluid in my left tube is preventing implantation, even if my right tube might be functional. She did say that there is some evidence that removing a tube can lower egg reserves to that side's ovary because of reduced blood flow, but since I have really good egg reserves as it stands, she's not too concerned. I'm considering acupuncture, since I have heard countless stories of women having an easier time conceiving after going to acupuncture. Even if it doesn't help, I don't imagine it would hurt... 
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • We're just starting to TTC.  I read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility and found it very helpful in terms of explaining charting my cycle.  DH and I pretty type-A people, so when we decide to do something we commit.  Additionally, given that we're a bit on the older side for TTC (early 30s), if we do have any fertility issues we want to discover them sooner rather than later.  I chart using the Kindara fertility app.

    Also, as a practical tip--if you work, look into your work's maternity leave policies, and in particular see if they offer short-term disability insurance that can replace some of your income while you are on maternity leave.  Many workplaces offer these policies at a reasonable cost, but you need to be on them BEFORE you get pregnant.  I didn't know my workplace offered one until after I got married, and DH and I actually put off TTC for 6 weeks or so while we got the policy in place--if we do have eventually have a child having that policy will literally make thousands of dollars of difference in terms of replacement income while I'm on maternity leave, so it was definitely worth it to get it set up.
    The US is so far behind when it comes to paid family leave. I am lucky- I get 16 weeks off, 6 paid and can use my bank sick and vacation time for the other 10 weeks. Assuming no complications or other unexpected events, I should be able to easily have 2 kids and still come back with a bit of paid leave still to cover the days that I am sick or the kid is sick and I have to stay home. 

    H is commission-based so we are trying to save as much of his money as possible into a child care account, so we don't have to count on his checks coming in to pay for day care. I've been doing some research and a good child care center in our area is $1800 a month. This is more than my mortgage. Holy crap, babies are expensive!
  • sarahufl said:

    I freaked out about having my tube removed, but the doctors assured me it was better than keeping it. Because it was clearly damaged and I would just risk having more issues with it. That was when they explained to me how your tubes can pull eggs from both sides. My H and I are both well-educated and pretty in-tune with the reproduction process and were shocked that neither of us knew that before. But then I asked my friends and none of them knew either, so I didn't feel as dumb :)
    To the bolded..... what?? I have this really weird visual of my tube snaking over to the other side of my innards to collect eggs. I can't even. 
    See, I feel less stupid now. My OB made it seem like everyone knew this.

    Your tubes are not actually connected to your ovaries- they just sit near them. They have these little follicles that basically pull the eggs out and move them through the tubes. What happened to me (and with most ectopics) is that there was a dent or a groove or something in the tube that caused the embryo to implant in the tube rather than the uterus. So by keeping the tube, you risk it happening again. But what happens when you are missing a tube is the other tube will basically just....catch it...from the other side.

    The human body is fascinating.
    image
  • sarahufl said:
    sarahufl said:

    I freaked out about having my tube removed, but the doctors assured me it was better than keeping it. Because it was clearly damaged and I would just risk having more issues with it. That was when they explained to me how your tubes can pull eggs from both sides. My H and I are both well-educated and pretty in-tune with the reproduction process and were shocked that neither of us knew that before. But then I asked my friends and none of them knew either, so I didn't feel as dumb :)
    To the bolded..... what?? I have this really weird visual of my tube snaking over to the other side of my innards to collect eggs. I can't even. 
    See, I feel less stupid now. My OB made it seem like everyone knew this.

    Your tubes are not actually connected to your ovaries- they just sit near them. They have these little follicles that basically pull the eggs out and move them through the tubes. What happened to me (and with most ectopics) is that there was a dent or a groove or something in the tube that caused the embryo to implant in the tube rather than the uterus. So by keeping the tube, you risk it happening again. But what happens when you are missing a tube is the other tube will basically just....catch it...from the other side.

    The human body is fascinating.
    I could believe this. My doctor explained yesterday that when you remove a tube, your ovary will likely shift position (since the connective tissue that holds it in place is also connected to the tube). It could drop down, it could shift to a side, it could stay where it is. So maybe if the disconnected ovary shifts closer to the other side, it could be close enough to the tube to work? 

    And yes, the human body is fascinating and unpredictable. I used to babysit for a couple that tried for FIVE years to get pregnant before turning to IVF. They had twins by IVF, and then got pregnant the old fashioned way a few months after their twins were born. And my aunt and uncle tried for ten years before adopting, only to get pregnant a year later. The body works in mysterious ways.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • sarahufl said:
    sarahufl said:

    I freaked out about having my tube removed, but the doctors assured me it was better than keeping it. Because it was clearly damaged and I would just risk having more issues with it. That was when they explained to me how your tubes can pull eggs from both sides. My H and I are both well-educated and pretty in-tune with the reproduction process and were shocked that neither of us knew that before. But then I asked my friends and none of them knew either, so I didn't feel as dumb :)
    To the bolded..... what?? I have this really weird visual of my tube snaking over to the other side of my innards to collect eggs. I can't even. 
    See, I feel less stupid now. My OB made it seem like everyone knew this.

    Your tubes are not actually connected to your ovaries- they just sit near them. They have these little follicles that basically pull the eggs out and move them through the tubes. What happened to me (and with most ectopics) is that there was a dent or a groove or something in the tube that caused the embryo to implant in the tube rather than the uterus. So by keeping the tube, you risk it happening again. But what happens when you are missing a tube is the other tube will basically just....catch it...from the other side.

    The human body is fascinating.
    This is one of the most AMAZING feats of the human body. It never ceases to amaze me, and I've studied biology and anatomy pretty extensively over the course of my education. The egg is such a tiny microscopic thing and to think how far it has to travel every month to make it to the center of the uterus is mid-boggling.
  • sarahufl said:
    sarahufl said:

    I freaked out about having my tube removed, but the doctors assured me it was better than keeping it. Because it was clearly damaged and I would just risk having more issues with it. That was when they explained to me how your tubes can pull eggs from both sides. My H and I are both well-educated and pretty in-tune with the reproduction process and were shocked that neither of us knew that before. But then I asked my friends and none of them knew either, so I didn't feel as dumb :)
    To the bolded..... what?? I have this really weird visual of my tube snaking over to the other side of my innards to collect eggs. I can't even. 
    See, I feel less stupid now. My OB made it seem like everyone knew this.

    Your tubes are not actually connected to your ovaries- they just sit near them. They have these little follicles that basically pull the eggs out and move them through the tubes. What happened to me (and with most ectopics) is that there was a dent or a groove or something in the tube that caused the embryo to implant in the tube rather than the uterus. So by keeping the tube, you risk it happening again. But what happens when you are missing a tube is the other tube will basically just....catch it...from the other side.

    The human body is fascinating.
    This is one of the most AMAZING feats of the human body. It never ceases to amaze me, and I've studied biology and anatomy pretty extensively over the course of my education. The egg is such a tiny microscopic thing and to think how far it has to travel every month to make it to the center of the uterus is mid-boggling.
    This may be the only time I've ever wished I've taken a physical anatomy class complete with dissection. We were forced to watch The Miracle Of Life video in junior high, and I have some other vague recollection of watching how tubes catch eggs. Just the fact that a tube has to "catch" an egg... the tubes aren't actually connected to the ovary... blows my mind. What fills the space between anyway? I mean, there aren't air pockets down there... What's the egg traveling on? (I know I sound dumb, but I have a BA. My science gen ed was geology.) 

    I have to go Google all this now.
    ________________________________


  • julieanne912julieanne912 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited September 2015
    chloe97 said:
    We're just starting to TTC.  I read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility and found it very helpful in terms of explaining charting my cycle.  DH and I pretty type-A people, so when we decide to do something we commit.  Additionally, given that we're a bit on the older side for TTC (early 30s), if we do have any fertility issues we want to discover them sooner rather than later.  I chart using the Kindara fertility app.

    Also, as a practical tip--if you work, look into your work's maternity leave policies, and in particular see if they offer short-term disability insurance that can replace some of your income while you are on maternity leave.  Many workplaces offer these policies at a reasonable cost, but you need to be on them BEFORE you get pregnant.  I didn't know my workplace offered one until after I got married, and DH and I actually put off TTC for 6 weeks or so while we got the policy in place--if we do have eventually have a child having that policy will literally make thousands of dollars of difference in terms of replacement income while I'm on maternity leave, so it was definitely worth it to get it set up.
    The US is so far behind when it comes to paid family leave. I am lucky- I get 16 weeks off, 6 paid and can use my bank sick and vacation time for the other 10 weeks. Assuming no complications or other unexpected events, I should be able to easily have 2 kids and still come back with a bit of paid leave still to cover the days that I am sick or the kid is sick and I have to stay home. 

    H is commission-based so we are trying to save as much of his money as possible into a child care account, so we don't have to count on his checks coming in to pay for day care. I've been doing some research and a good child care center in our area is $1800 a month. This is more than my mortgage. Holy crap, babies are expensive!
    Holy crap that is a lot!  Around here they seem to be in the $1200/mo range and I thought that was high!  That part is kind of freaking me out  If ours was as high as yours, I could literally fly my mom out weekly to watch the baby and it would cost less than $1800/mo... flights are about $400 and she's retired.

    H thinks that we could just do daycare "sometimes" since he travels for work, but when he's home, he works from home so he could watch the baby.  I had to explain to him that most daycares don't work that way, you can't just come and go when you want and not pay... you pay whether the kid is there or not.
    Married 9.12.15
    image
  • sarahufl said:
    sarahufl said:

    I freaked out about having my tube removed, but the doctors assured me it was better than keeping it. Because it was clearly damaged and I would just risk having more issues with it. That was when they explained to me how your tubes can pull eggs from both sides. My H and I are both well-educated and pretty in-tune with the reproduction process and were shocked that neither of us knew that before. But then I asked my friends and none of them knew either, so I didn't feel as dumb :)
    To the bolded..... what?? I have this really weird visual of my tube snaking over to the other side of my innards to collect eggs. I can't even. 
    See, I feel less stupid now. My OB made it seem like everyone knew this.

    Your tubes are not actually connected to your ovaries- they just sit near them. They have these little follicles that basically pull the eggs out and move them through the tubes. What happened to me (and with most ectopics) is that there was a dent or a groove or something in the tube that caused the embryo to implant in the tube rather than the uterus. So by keeping the tube, you risk it happening again. But what happens when you are missing a tube is the other tube will basically just....catch it...from the other side.

    The human body is fascinating.
    This is also blowing my mind as well.  I had no idea they weren't actually attached.
    Married 9.12.15
    image
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